Posted on 08/14/2008 1:57:44 PM PDT by IbJensen
The good news: DNA testing has confirmed that John Edwards is not the father of Rielle Hunter's baby.
The bad news: The father is Bill Clinton.
Ha ha -- just kidding! It's almost impossible to get pregnant by having the type of sex Bill Clinton prefers.
Also, by now, everyone has heard the news that Edwards' mistress, Rielle Hunter, has refused to grant a paternity test.
I wonder if Edwards knew that when he was making his chesty offer to take a paternity test? Edwards gushed to ABC's Bob Woodruff: "I would welcome participating in a paternity test, be happy to participate in one ... happy to take a paternity test and would love to see it happen."
As Edwards knows, our paternity laws were written by Gloria Steinem, so if the mother doesn't want a paternity test, it can't happen. So when Woodruff asked if he was going to actually take the paternity test soon, Edwards quickly noted, "I'm only one side of the test."
With Rielle in on the scam, Edwards could boldly demand a paternity test and then self-righteously defend his mistress's decision to refuse a paternity test. How dare you gainsay this woman's right to her privacy! Because if there's one person who's gone the extra mile to keep Hunter from becoming a public figure, it's John Edwards.
Edwards is closely following the Kennedy model of responding to charges of misconduct. First, admit only as much as can be currently proved. Second, get the other party to block any further investigation. I guess he really is "Kennedy-esque"!
For example, when the cops found DNA on the murdered body of Martha Moxley in Greenwich, Conn., the Kennedy suspect, Michael Skakel, suddenly remembered he had been up in a tree that night masturbating! (Talk about a tree-hugger.) You can see how something like that could slip your mind.
After Teddy Kennedy plunged his car off the Chappaquiddick Bridge with Mary Jo Kopechne in it and then failed to report the accident for nine hours, Kennedy admitted he had driven off the bridge -- but said he was in a state of shock for the next nine hours, preventing him from reporting the submerged car with a woman trapped in it.
Indeed, Kennedy was so disoriented he was barely able to dream up a highly unlikely alibi.
The historical parallel to Edwards' pincer move with Rielle Hunter is that Kennedy ostentatiously demanded a full investigation –- while the Kopechne family stoutly objected to an autopsy of their daughter.
According to Senatorial Privilege: The Chappaquiddick Cover-up by Leo Damore, the evidence suggested that Kopechne died gasping for breath in the car while Teddy Kennedy was busy trying to convince various people to say that they were driving his car.
There were lots of houses nearby with lights on, but Kennedy avoided them after he escaped from the car, so he could sneak back to his hotel undetected and begin establishing an alibi. Evidently, Kennedy is better than Edwards at sneaking into and out of hotels.
If Mary Jo had suffocated, then she had been alive for hours after the car plunged into the water. But an autopsy was required to determine whether Kopechne had drowned or suffocated.
Both the coroner and the diver who retrieved Mary Jo's body from the car believed Mary Jo had suffocated, not drowned. The diver found her body contorted in the back of the submerged car as if she had been trying to press her face into the last air pocket in the car. The coroner concluded there wasn't enough water in Mary Jo's body to indicate a drowning.
But for the first time in Massachusetts history, no autopsy was performed in a possible manslaughter case. Mary Jo was buried within about an hour of her body being pulled out of the channel under the Chappaquiddick Bridge.
Naturally, Kennedy wanted a thorough investigation -- to clear his name! -- but the Kopechnes absolutely refused to consent to an autopsy of their daughter. What more could he do? The Kopechnes' lawyer, Joseph Flanagan, refused to say who was paying him to fight the autopsy.
Similarly, Edwards aggressively offered to take a paternity test, knowing that the New Age hippie chick who still thinks she's going to marry him would not hurt him by allowing a paternity test. Edwards certainly is adept at reading stupid women, or as his campaign called them, "the base."
Democrats are always claiming to have the Kennedy magic, but, once again, another Kennedy-wannabe falls short. To be a real Kennedy, John, you have to kill her.
Wednesdays.
Sadder than the bulbous nosed scumbag murderer were the two parents who let him get away with it. I can understand why Ted Kennedy clings to life tooth and nail. When he passes, the things coming to drag his soul into hell will make the ones in the movie ‘Ghost’ look like campfire girls. As you say, Ann, at least Edwards didn't murder anyone.
Posted by: Bernard at August 14, 2008 08:19 AM
I’d love to see her debate any Kennedy, or even better, the Obamaloon. That guy is such an empty suit that inside the suit may be the only place in the universe that even quantum fluctuations are not possible. The perfect, perfect vacuum.
Neither the corrupt, evil Kennedy nor the inane, clueless communist-muslim could debate Daffy Duck.
That was outstanding.
She always nails it.
As if trial lawyers had standards....
Kennedy vs Ann Coulter
no notes, no foreknowledge of the questions
Go.
oh, it would be a slaughter.
Skakel masturbates while in a tree, Bill Clinton masturbates into the oval office washroom sink.
I see a pattern here.
If that friend of Edwards that’s claiming to be the baby’s father really was then why wouldn’t he take a paternity test and prove it?
Because this pitiful cover is sophomoric.
Actions like this are typical of leftist, imbecilic Democrat candidates for president.
Edwards tells his 'ho "I'm going to state I am willing to take a DNA paternity test, but then you say you don't want your baby subjected to the ordeal of a DNA submission."
As if the infant would cry if a hair was clipped from it's little head.
Let's let Jerry Springer handle this one.
“Edwards tells his ho, “I’m going to state I am willing to take a DNA paternity test but then you say you don’t want your baby subjected to the ordeal of a DNA submission.”
We know that. So why can’t the other one who is claiming to be the father take the test? Wouldn’t that make sense? If Wimpy wasn’t the Dad why wouldn’t he insist on that? Don’t they know it looks ludicrous that they don’t offer that? If the other one was the Dad then you’d better believe that John would make (pay) Rielle to have the test done. It’s only a swab in the inside of the cheek.
How sweet is revenge, eh, Ann?
LOL
That we know of. Did Edwards ever pay for an abortion-killing?
Cordially,
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