Posted on 08/13/2008 7:20:15 PM PDT by airedale
On the news today I heard that Obama spent an hour alone with his grandmother at her place while the family was elsewhere. I know how much time my child spent with her grandparents who lived half way across the country when she was growing up (a lot. She spent summers with them for many years so she'd know them). The story got me wondering just how much time his kids have spent with his grandmother over the past years and of course by the end of this vacation. If they haven't spent much time with her you have to wonder why and her living in Hawaii at their income level isn't a good answer.
Even as a young child (Nannie died when I was 8) I knew I was in the presence of somebody special. She was a great beauty as a young woman, a classic old-style Southern Belle (the nice, queenly kind, not the Mean Girl), and she could tell a story.
The records are not complete so not getting a hit doesn't mean he wasn't in (a lot of stuff like muster rolls and what not simply got lost before anybody thought it was important enough to keep). But there's a good chance there's something in the database. I found a bunch of ancestors, cousins, neighbors, friends, what-not.
Had a lot of trouble on my mom's side because they tended to have children late. My great-aunt (my maternal grandfather's sister) didn't even know the name of her maternal grandfather, because their mother was the youngest of 9 children, and suffered from classic Alzheimer's (early onset of dementia, in her 50s) so she couldn't tell them a thing about the family.
To further complicate matters, the family was from South Carolina, which didn't keep official birth or marriage records until after WWII (that's not a typo - marriage licenses were introduced in 1948, I think). But I was able to go through newspaper announcements, land records and U.S. Census handwritten returns and figure out his name, where he was born, his wife's name, and the names of all his children. People think that genealogy is sort of a silly hobby, but it was all worth while when I saw my great-aunt's eyes light up. She was SO pleased that she finally knew her grandfather's name.
Mr. RightField and I -- now that we are in retirement -- have started writing down stories from our family histories. One of his great grandfathers was a slave in Mississippi who ran away to fight for the Union, changed his last name to avoid being sent back to the plantation in case he was caught by the Confederates. After the Civil War was over, he had some problems in claiming his pension because of the name change. We have the paperwork documenting how he eventually got his pension. And when his old plantation was broken up into smaller plots after the war, he got 160 acres of it free and clear, from his former owner's brother. Fascinating stuff.
I was privileged to know four of my great grandparents ... all of them were born in the 1870's. One great grandfather knew Orville and Wilbur Wright. He died at the age of 104. He was fond of saying, "I saw the first airplane fly and I saw the first man on the moon. Guess there's isn't much more to see in the way of progress." He'd be fascinated with the world today, and definitely an oldster who would take to computers and cell phones without a stumble.
We raised our own kids far away from their grandparents, but we took every opportunity we had to visit and have lots of contact with the grands. I heard once that the reason grandparents and grandchildren generally have good relationships is that they have a common enemy. LOL
That is wonderful to get those stories written down. My grandmother spent a lot of time getting stories written down. My grandfather’s grandmother crossed the prairie in a covered wagon...she had written down some stories as well. It’s important to remember where we came from.
With all due respect, have you ever been around a loved one with dementia? They often cannot remember who you are, even if they raised you...and you just reminded them who you were two minutes ago.
When my grandfather had Alzheimer’s, he thought he was a 22 year old sailor in the navy, and that my grandmother was his grandmother. He used to flirt with the nurses and staff in the hospital right in front of her. Our kids in elementary school. I saw no need to expose them to that.
Osteoporosis isn’t dementia and that’s what the media reports his grandmother has and why she doesn’t travel.
And the answer to your question is yes. My wife runs a senior center with an Alzheimer Day Care facility and we’ve known people who have suffered with it. As for exposing kids to someone who has it depends on the form the dementia takes. One of our friends as he got worse became violent and then the answer is no. The case you describe I probably would especially if they were old enough as Obama’s kids are to understand what’s going on. It’s not fun and it’s tough on loved ones, but then again the same can be said about cancer, MS, etc.
Agreed.
And I 've been thinking that as well, that it's a lot easier to assume a woman in her 90s may be ailing than to create complicated scenarios just to find one more thing not to like about Obama. Like many others on this thread, I find politics and beliefs to be plenty to judge.
And if she is ailing, this may be a time when I, gulp, might do the same thing (double gulp).
I'd want my children to spend time with her, but not wear her out. An hour or so is about the right amount of time before you start having young children having problems with sitting in a room with someone with dementia. And I know when I brought young children to spend time with my NON-demented aunt who was in her late-90s, an hour was about as long as she could muster the energy to interact with children in a way she liked. After that, she just needed to nap!
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