1.) Hostile customer service: Each employee of my airline will address each customer as Sir or Ma'am, and treat them with utmost respect. They will also wear nametags complete with ID numbers in the event that a customer is mistreated. The ID number system will keep the employees in check because they know how easily they can be identified by the customer. For each complaint filed by the customer, there will be a counseling session. After the third or fourth counseling session (depending on the nature of the complaint), the employee may be suspended or terminated for any rude or harsh behavior toward the customer. If the customer was the problem, then that can also be considered during the counseling sessions carried out by the supervisors.
2.) Prolonged stays on the tarmac: Federal law should allow for any folks stranded on the tarmac for more than 1.5 hours to be de-planed immediately. No exceptions. Anything over 2 hours will warrant a full investigation into the company responsible, and fines may be given to the airline if deemed appropriate by a judge.
3.) Overflowing toilets: Punishable by extremely harsh fines. Sanitation and disease exposure are serious health risks on board the airlines, and I will impose heavy fines on any aircraft inspected by FAA personnel with an overflowing toilet.
4.) no food/drink services: If the flight is more than 3 hours, an in-flight meal/drink service will be provided. Its cost will be incorporated into the final airfare price prior to ticket sale.
5.) crybaby Muslims: FBI background checks for all Muslims entering US airports. Increased recruitment incentives to armed US Air Marshals (accredited university and firearm educated personnel only) includes TAX FREE status to all personnel who on duty in this department. Incidentally, this ties into my plan for TAX FREE status to all personnel who work in life-threatening US government jobs. My TAX FREE strategy would be geared toward all active duty military folks, Coast Guard, FBI field agents, and other federal security personnel. Once these services meet their REAL personnel numbers to sustain their forces effectively, these forces can be more selective with who they hire/recruit, and they will also be more able to fire/remove personnel who don't belong.
6.) incompetent TSA thugs: Privatize Airport Security so that it is contracted to a security firm that can fire/suspend/sue any security agent who wrongfully mistreats, harms, insults, sexually molests customers in the airport. TSA personnel are cut back dramatically, and the personnel who remain on staff are college educated and TAX FREE. They will be expected to perform fairly and honestly. Any misconduct will be reported to the regional FAA office for disciplinary action (Department of Homeland Security should create something of a UCMJ process for the TSA). The TSA should be placed into areas that are out of sight, and are in more of a surveillance role (Security camera control, infared cameras, motion detection, this type of thing).
7.) bacteria and disease prone "shoe free" inspection zones: No more of this. Someone help me out here.
8.) crowded seating conditions: Rip out these cramped seating conditions in favor of something more comfortable to sit in. Increase the airfare cost a bit, but drop the concept of "sardines in a tin can." It's detrimental to the hope that customers will return.
9.) additional fees for everything: Rather than tack on extra fees for everything, come up with a solitary cost for each ticket that is less obvious. Yes, I know my concepts will create an increased cost for the consumer, but the pain, anger and disease factors go down with my ideas.
10.) Tiny overhead compartments crammed with oversized bags: A reduction in the tiny chairs crammed into each bird will diminish the number of people crammed onto each bird. Make the compartments a little larger by modestly increasing their size. Enforce the policy of size for each bag carried on. I see way too many bags coming onto airplanes that should have never been allowed in the first place. Now that these oversized bags are on the bird, that means less room for folks who are doing the right thing by bringing appropriate sized bags.
11.) fear of lawsuits: Cut down on this fear by imposing new federal laws that protect Americans from hostile Mohammedan savages who are intentionally provoking fear on the planes and in the airports. If a Muslim behaves suspiciously, have him booted off the plane and/or arrested. Have the Air Marshals make the call. Incidentally, no Muslims should be allowed to be Air Marshals as this imposes a National Security risk. Mohammedan infiltration units would take advantage of the concept of Air Security if their own people are already in the system. 12.) lost baggage: Someone help me out here.
13.) filthy passengers: Someone help me out here.
14.) recyled cabin air that is loaded with germs: Increase the number of fresh oxygen tanks onboard each plane to correlate with the number of passengers and the number of hours each bird is in the air. Because we live in the era of airborne illnesses, this is a critical issue.
15.) insects and other pests on board: I don't even know how to start on this one.
16.) overbooked flights: Why is it that the airlines overbook these flights? There should be one universal, digital system for each flight. Once I get online, select my seat and pay with my credit card, that seat should be mine and mine only. My airline would use a digital system to track and record each seat as the customer selects and pays for it. Once all the seats are paid for, my online page would not allow for anymore bookings.
Alright, I am tired. I tried to answer each of my own problems to the best of my ability.
"Incidentally, this ties into my plan for TAX FREE status to all personnel who work in life-threatening US government jobs."
What i meant to communicate was:
Incidentally, this ties into my plan for TAX FREE status to all personnel who work in extremely dangerous US government jobs. IE, federal folks whose lives are regularly in harm's way should be TAX FREE.
Considering the guy who originated this tactic has died (someone gave Reid the idea), what are the chances of this being "the" plot again?
There are also plots about using body cavities to carry plastic explosives. The TSA knows NOBODY would stand for vag and anal exams with rubber gloves to board every flight. Making us remove our shoes is just as extreme.
Give a hefty bounty to anybody to tackles a terrorist in the act trying to ignite a shoe bomb. Let dogs sniff the feet of passengers for suspicious materials.
There are other ways to address this risk. Some day we WILL all be flying naked (maybe clothed special airline provided jumpsuits) with NO carry on baggage.
Remember to consider the blocked seats for special fares such as businesses.
Remember to consider the blocked seats for special fares such as businesses.
Cabin air is typically a 50/50 mix of recycled air and outside air. The engines(which are giant air pumps) pump outside air into the cabin to increase air pressure to 5000 feet msl. If the mixture is raised, the efficiency of the engines goes down. Cabin air that is recycled goes through hepa filters. You're more likely to get a disease from the surfaces you touch on the plane, not the air.
Carbon Offsetting Option Continental is committed to promoting environmental responsibility within its culture, which includes helping our customers to respond to concerns about climate change with a carbon offsetting option. We've partnered with Sustainable Travel International ("STI"), a non-profit organization dedicated to providing education and services that support environmental conservation, to provide this option to customers. If you want to leave continental.com to learn more about STI or to purchase carbon offsets from STI for this itinerary, go to sustainabletravelinternational.org/sti_offset_air/flights/c/2.
Jeez Louise.
You know, any discussion about the airline industry has become fly paper for malcontents who feel entitled to luxurious flying experiences without paying over $179 per round trip ticket. We have become such a me-focused society.
Do we shut down FR because of one poster who becomes inappropriate? Do we write off the Marine Corps or the Army because one or two freaks make it through basic training? Is it then appropriate to disparage entire airlines because some employees are having a really bad day?
Let me tell you — airline employees have been living each and every day in financial limbo since 9-11. Salaries in the months following that awful day were cut 20, 30, 40, 50% if you were among those who didn’t lose their jobs. Those who remained made sacrifices to save their company. Costs of insurance increased. Perks like $10 flights disappeared due to most flights departing at capacity. Rewards like free tickets for good service were abolished.
Add on top of this loss, consider the notion that airline executives have been rewarding themselves millions in quarterly bonuses for profitable periods while in essence thumbing their noses at those sacrificing below them.
For crying out loud, please give these people a break. Some of these employees have worked 10, 20, 30 years in the airline industry and many have no where else to go. And please realize that storms happen. Toilets will at some point overflow. Cockpit lights will illuminate indicating extra attention is needed. No one is purposely trying to make you (or the employees) uncomfortable, late, sick or contaminated. Maybe consider the thousands of flights that take place daily without incident that are not discussed on the boards or evening news; maybe just even once in a while.