PETA proposes Lobster Empathy Center for Skowhegan jail

Bangor Daily News ^ | Tuesday, June 3, 2008 | Sharon Kiley Mack

[wbill]

Sometimes the humor just writes itself. The title is a little misleading, though....the jailhouse is going to be *sold*, the center is not run out of the jail. Great editors. /sarc

Those crazy PETA people! Personally, I'll consider getting empathetic with a lobster this weekend. Perhaps with some drawn butter and lemon.

[contemplator]

Call their bluff and make them put their money where their mouth is. Offer to sell the building to them.

[WayneS]

But I DO emphathize with the lobsters.

First I emphathize, then I EAT them.

[WayneS]

SORRY, empathize...

[camle]

They should sell it to them for a good profit. THEN their inspectors ought to nit pick until it opens, generating further costs to peta.

it will be a money sink to peta reducing the amount of cash they will have for other things.

[CholeraJoe]

I believe it's been done before. The Walrus and the Carpenter set up an Oyster empathy center over a century ago.

The Walrus and the Carpenter

[Red Badger]

Lobster Empathy Center.......

[informavoracious]

Take the rubber bands off their pincer claws, then let little Johnny pet them and decide for himself whether lobsters are 'friends' or 'food.'

Hope they build a Butter Empathy Center right next door.

[NewJerseyJoe]

This is insanity. A lobster has about the same type of nervous system (and thus, capacity to feel pain) as a cockroach or a grasshopper. I wonder how PETA feels about people killing cockroaches or eating grasshoppers.

[MortMan]

Does this mean the PETAns will drop themselves in boiling water then bathe in clarified butter with a lemon spritz???

[G.Mason]

Call their bluff and force them to starve to death.

I just went by the cupboard and saw a container of cherrios staring back at me.

Those little darlings were stripped from their mother plant, processed, and placed in confinement.

At least I put them in a clear plastic, screw on container, so's they could look around at the other unfortunates, until they met the mouth.

[vietvet67]

I hear the security at the Lobster Empathy Center will include body x-rays.

[ladtx]

Ohh. And I just love animals, they’re just so - so - mm- tasty.

[wbill]

Does this mean the PETAns will drop themselves in boiling water then bathe in clarified butter with a lemon spritz???

One can only hope. Will be the first bath that most of them have had in awhile.

Ideally, they'll leave their clothes on, though. Otherwise, we're talking about a nightmare of hair.

[G.Mason]

Well done, indeed!

[metesky]

As the crow flies, the distance from Skowhegan to Rockland, home of the Maine Lobster Festival and a lobster fishing port, is approximately 53 miles.

Ayah, and add 26 miles if you can't fly and have to drive.

[wbill]

Ayuh. But at least you can get thayah from heah.

[SampleMan]

Lobsters have the brain of a grasshopper. They are a bug.

What is PETA doing about the billions of grasshoppers that are being mercilessly chopped to bits by lawn mower blades? What of those bugs that are smashed all over the front of their very own vehicles?

And yes, I do know that there are PETA idiots out there who would share a bowl of shredded wheat and soy milk with a cockroach, so as not to disturb a creature that they consider to be their equal.

[count-your-change]

Give a lobster a nice warm bath, a pleasant rub down with lemon scented organic milk fats, finally removal of all that dead skin. Welcome to our Lobster Kitchen Spa, where lobsters rediscover their purpose in life and meet old friends like salt and corn on the cob. Peta should send their lobster friends here to relax and have a pedicure.

[sportutegrl]

"I weep for you," the Walrus said: "I deeply sympathize."

With sobs and tears he sorted out Those of the largest size,

Holding his pocket-handkerchief Before his streaming eyes.