Posted on 05/07/2008 8:37:27 AM PDT by LikeLight
Are you a joyful bride-to-be? An eager (or nervous!) groom? Perhaps you have a son or daughter getting married this spring or summer? Perhaps a beloved grandchild? Or maybe a lifelong friend? The peak of wedding season is arriving and many of us have a special acquaintance or family member ready to “tie the knot” in a beautiful marriage ceremony of thrilling romance and holy commitment.
So what does any of this have to do with the law? Why am I raising the subject of weddings in my Christian legal column? I’m writing to brides and grooms and those close to them because I want to encourage you to build the strongest possible marriage from the beginning, a marriage built on the solid foundation of God and His Word. And I’m writing because I want to encourage you not to weaken or undermine that sacred foundation by relying on destructive legal “worldly wisdom” that commonly advises you not to get married without first entering a pre-nuptial agreement.
[snip]
In an era of frequent marital break-ups and complex family structures, our cynical culture and most secular lawyers portray anyone getting married without a pre-nup as either foolish or naive. Before the wedding day, we are warned, wise couples should agree in writing what will happen if and when the marriage dissolves. But is there something wrong with this pessimistic advice? Should Christians begin their sacred marriage relationship as if it were just another business deal? Is it healthy for a husband and wife to be forced into negotiating against one another as legal adversaries, each with their own attorneys, in the days or weeks before they are joined as “one flesh” in the eyes of God?
[snip]
(Excerpt) Read more at goodnewsdaily.net ...
I'm sure this one will raise some passions... Let's keep it clean and civil...
Carolyn
Did you know Catholic marriages are not valid (in the Chruch’s eyes)if there is a pre-nup?
Not a probelm for me. I got married once, divorced once, and I would never put myself through that again.
Happily single now.
I have an even simpler solution for surviving this era of frequent marital break up. Don’t do it. Don’t get married. It is nearly impossible to tell the good ones from the bad ones anymore.
No, there's nothing wrong with it at all. At work I see couples slogging through different stages of divorce proceedings almost every day. Now, I haven't actually asked anyone, but I'm sure none of them got married with the idea that they would be spending thousands and thousands of dollars a few years later to divide their assets and get a divorce.
I agree with your point of view, especially if there is an estate from the deceased first partner who was the bio parent of the kids.
If this is a serial monogamy situation, it gets more complicated as to whether these people should contract a Christian marriage, as Nina0113 points out.
No, I wasn't aware. That's something I need to know for future reference. Can you direct me to a good source for more details?
I’ve never heard that Catholic marriages were invalidated by a pre-nup agreement. Is this something new?
Way back in the olden days there were many marriages among the royals in which prenups were involved.
The need for discussing the breakup of a marriage prior to the wedding means it is doomed from the start.
Long ago while she was still single Elizabeth Taylor said, “I hope my first marriage will be a happy one.”
Nonsense. Such inane argument is on a par with the belief that going to the doctor reflects a lack of faith in God's providence.
That's a moot point, since the government has already taken over marriage as an instrument to implement various social policies and distribute benefits. Better to go all the way and make the pre-nup a legal requirement - taking the "You don't trust me!" emotions back out of the equation.
I have been married twice, unfortunately for me it took two times for me to come to the same conclusion you have.
Seems to me it would be more important for a FIRST (and hopefully last) marriage to have a COVENENTAL Agreement....no divorce just because “I don’t love him/her anymore”.....
“Should Christians begin their sacred marriage relationship as if it were just another business deal? Is it healthy for a husband and wife to be forced into negotiating against one another as legal adversaries, each with their own attorneys, in the days or weeks before they are joined as “one flesh” in the eyes of God?”
How is this different from dowry negotiations?
The dowry was returned if the marriage failed safeguarding the wife. I realize it is an anachronism, but a pre-nuptual agreement, done correctly, safeguards both parties.
Unfortunately, I think in a first marriage, especially in a Christian marriage, it might give more power to the wealthier spouse and create something decidedly unChristian.
In a subsequent marriage, especially if children are involved, definitely.
Christians are subject to the same worldly, ungodly nastiness like everyone else, especially if greed enters the picture.
"Believing that marriage is a covenant,
intended by God to be a lifelong relationship
between a man and a woman,
we vow to God, each other, our families and
our communities to remain steadfast in
unconditional love, reconciliation
and sexual purity
while purposefully growing in our
covenant marriage relationship."
That would make for some fascinating research and writing, the history of how prenups arose. I know many of our estate planning tools (trusts, etc.) came from the old nobility. But I never dug into the history of prenups.
Interesting post.
Why not let the market decide? Church goers are thinking humans too.
Interesting statistics on odds of divorce found here:
http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=363986
Clearly if there are great disparities in wealth between the wife and the husband, a pre-nup is PRUDENT (not skeptical) given the probabilities of divorce. Skeptical would be a pre-nup in the 1950s between two people with equal wealth.
Allow me to piggyback on that comment that if either party is an owner or member of a family-owned business, it is generally considered good business practice to ensure that family ownership does not become diluted due to a divorce. The answer to that dilemma is a pre-nup along with carefully drawn business organization plans that restrict ownership.
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