Lynchings in Congo as penis theft panic hits capital

Yahoo News ^ | April 23, 2008 | Joe Bavier

[OB1kNOb]

"But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said.

FOTFLMPO!

[wtc911]

And some argue that all cultures are equal.

______________________________________________

I wonder what the abortion rate is there...

[toddlintown]

There’s no hope for that cesspool of a continent. Pull out and take the HIV money with.

My tax money paying for animals.

[Farmer Dean]

Just think,these people have a vote in the UN.Thousands of years of African “culture” and this is what they get?

[OB1kNOb]

"I was in the pool! It's just shrinkage!"

[Leisler]

1970’s? Drive In movie? Two movies, car load for $10. I think I passed out from cheap beer and missed that one.

[par4]

Actually, Full Metal Jacket, but it's easy to get them confused.

[PapaBear3625]

In IQ and the Wealth of Nations, Richard Lynn and Tatu Vanhanen went through IQ studies of various nations. Congo ranked near the bottom with an average IQ of 73.

[blackdog]

Africa has the world’s largest uranium ore deposits. It’s why everyone is there. Including Valerie Plame’s hubby. With the low carb energy diets Algore is putting us on, it’s only gonna get worse there.

[The Great RJ]

Hillary Clinton seems to have the same “shrinking penis” effect on her male staffers.

[RJS1950]

This is no different than it was 50, 500 or 5000 years ago. Any money or effort there has always been wasted. The current archeological idea is that “Modern man walked out of Africa and populated the rest of the world”. Well, at least all of the smart ones did.

[DeLaine]

Some kind of compensation, you think??

No, really they just went swimming. Cold water ya know.

[ßuddaßudd]

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again
This happens all the time
It’s detachable
This comes in handy a lot of the time
I can leave it home when I think it’s going to get me in trouble
Or I can rent it out when I don’t need it

But now and then I go to a party
Get drunk
And the next morning I can’t for the life of me
Remember what I did with it
First I looked around my apartment
And I couldn’t find it
So I called up the place where the party was
They hadn’t seen it either
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
‘Cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.

I called a few people who were at the party
But they were no help either
I was starting to get desperate
I really don’t like being without my penis for too long
It makes me feel like less of a man
And I really hate to have to sit down every time I take a leak

After a few hours of searching the house
And calling everyone I could think of
I was starting to get very depressed
So I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast.
Then as I walked down Second Avenue toward St. Mark’s Place
Where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street
I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven
Some guy was selling it
I had to buy it off him
He wanted 22 bucks but I talked him down to 17
I took it home
Washed it off
And put it back on
I was happy again
Complete
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached
But I don’t know
Even though sometimes it’s a pain in the ass
I like having a detachable penis

[dbwz]

If they were able to get email, they’d have thousands of offers to grow the little guys back.

[dbwz]

Wow, now there’s an oldie but goodie...

[stevio]

Speak for yourself.

[OnRightOnLeftCoast]

Lorraina Bobbit?

My first thought was she would be mentioned in the article as the Commanding Officer of a commando unit.

[Cronos]

Imagine if you could spread this panic among the jeehaadees?

[Doomonyou]

They’re still ten times the size of ours... ;(

Hung like a hampster, eh?

[Cronos]

Well, when a more advanced civilisation meets a one at an earlier stage, it is disastrous for the lesser advanced one --> e.g. imagine if we suddenly come upon ET who's 2000 years ahead of us in tech.

The same thing happened when the advanced Greeks and Romans met the Germanics and Slavics -- the latter's cultures were completely over-run.

During the colonization period post the 15th century, Europe first met Asian countries which were more advanced, but they gradually got on par by the 19th century. North Africa was always closely tied to Europe, but sub-saharan africa in 1810 was at least 1000 to 1500 years behind Europe: Europe in the 300s (at least Germano-Slavic Europe) was still tribal and no nation states -- as was sub-saharan africa in 1810.

South America during the Spanish conquest was 500 years behind.

while, Australian Aborigines, poor guys were still in the stone age -- 3000 to 4000 years behind and they have NOT been able, as a culture, to get over that culture-shock (individuals may and many DO, prosper, I'm talking about the culture / civilisation as a whole).

This does not include slammic "civilisation" which is a counter-culture movement.