Torn Between Two Liberals

RedState.com ^ | March 22, 2008 | Josh Painter

[Josh Painter]

"Torn Between Two Lovers" was an absolutely wretched pop song that rose to the top of the charts in 1976-77. You couldn't punch a button on the car radio with being subjected to the rotten piece of garbage. The artist, Mary MacGregor, must not have been too crazy about it either, because she sang the song sounding like she would have rather been anywhere but in the studio recording it. Because it was co-written by bigtime liberal Peter Yarrow (of Peter, Paul , and Mary fame), I offer no apologies for my parody of it. On the contrary, "Torn Between Two Liberals" is a kind of perverse poetic justice.

*

There are times when a leftist has to pick and choose
Don't care how much this country has to lose
Hillary and Obama, let me tell you what I know
You're both about as pinko as anyone can go

Obama, your pastor fills me with white lib guilt
And a hatred for America that will not ever wilt
And though that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy deep inside
Hillary is thrilling me, and that I cannot hide

Torn between two liberals, feelin' like a fool
Which useful idiot should get my vote to rule
Torn between two liberals, feelin' like a fool
'Cause I know that both of you will be socialist tools

You would both appoint judges like Stevens and sweet Ruth
So those who kill the unborn will never face the truth
Making laws by judging, just like the Europeans do
It makes it hard for libs like me to choose between you two

Torn between two liberals, feelin' like a fool
Which useful idiot should get my vote to rule
Torn between two liberals, feelin' like a fool
'Cause I know that both of you will be socialist tools

You'd both raise taxes on corporations and the rich
I just can't decide between the empty suit and the wicked witch
And government will grow so big under either one of you
The kind of workers' paradise even Lenin never knew

Torn between two liberals, feelin' like a fool
Which useful idiot should get my vote to rule
Torn between two liberals, feelin' like a fool
'Cause I know that both of you will be socialist tools

You'd both pull all of our troops out of Iraq
And leave all of our allies wide open to attack
Either one of you would cut our forces to the nerve
And let Amerika get the beating it so very much deserves

fade...

Torn between two liberals, feelin' like a fool
Which useful idiot should get my vote to rule
Torn between two liberals, feelin' like a fool
'Cause I know that both of you will be socialist tools

- JP

[Josh Painter]

[peeps36]

I like your version of the song much better than the corny original. You could insert the word losers in place of liberal and still make a good song.