Posted on 03/21/2008 12:05:34 PM PDT by Sub-Driver
Adults Forced Back Into Parents' Homes Middle-Aged Children Starting Over With Mom, Dad
UPDATED: 2:45 pm EDT March 21, 2008 MILWAUKEE -- After being laid off from her job as an events planner at an upscale resort, Jo Ann Bauer struggled financially. She worked at several lower-paying jobs, relocated to a new city and even declared bankruptcy.
Then in December, she finally accepted her parents' invitation to move into their home -- at age 52. "I'm back living in the bedroom that I grew up in," she said.
Taking shelter with parents isn't uncommon for young people in their 20s, especially when the job market is poor. But now the slumping economy and the credit crunch are forcing some children to do so later in life -- even in middle age.
Financial planners report receiving many calls from parents seeking advice about taking in their grown children following divorces and layoffs.
Kim Foss Erickson, a financial planner in Roseville, Calif., north of Sacramento, said she has never seen older children, even those in their 50s, depending so much on their parents as in the last six months.
"This is not like, 'OK, my son just graduated from college and needs to move back in' type of thing," she said. "These are 40- and 50-year-old children of my clients that they're helping out."
Parents "jeopardize their financial freedom by continuing to subsidize their children," said Karin Maloney Stifler, a financial planner in Hudson, Ohio, and a board member of the Financial Planning Association. "We have a hard time saying no as a culture to our children, and they keep asking for more."
Bauer's parents won't take rent money or let her help much with groceries.
(Excerpt) Read more at wnbc.com ...
Bravo! Exactly! (Tho a little debt management is also a good thing so that when the hard times hit, you have some money with which you can hit back).
I am fully amenable to taking in my aged in-laws, on my turf. These so-called adult children are losers for moving into their parents’ homes.
Don’t tell him about Grandpa Walton. In real life he was a commie and a homosexual — look it up!! I was shocked too.
But, but, we’re supposed to have dense living conditions to improve energy efficiency and save the environment!
Who’s got the “Ah, Jeez, not this shit again!” pic???
What’s the problem here? When one family member is having a hard time, I think it’s great that others are willing to take them in and help them out.
in New Zealand they are called KIPPERS. Kids In Parents Pockets Eroding Retirement Savings
Maybe we’re just moving back to a time when several generations live together, helping each other out. It might not be a bad thing.
I know exactly what you mean....When it's 90 outside my Dad still doesn't have his air conditioning on. He says that it gets "too cold". Ugh!
That would work for me as well.
Three of my sisters moved back in with my mother at various times in their lives (One was about 30 when she moved back in for about a year, another never moved out until she was about 30).
This is not exactly something new!
I struggled financially for a while after I was grown because my 1st husband died in a wreck and we had no insurance. Not only was his salary gone- I had a mountain of medical bills to pay off. I worked two and three jobs to get the bills paid and had room mates to share rent. I did not move in with my parents. I also cringed when I read the part about the lady’s parents wouldn’t let her help with rent or groceries- it’s called just bring the groceries in the house- duh- don’t ask if they want help- just do it if you are living there.
I have three kids and have had some issues weaning the oldest who is 25. I thought she was a late bloomer because she has just barely figured out how to pay her own bills. I still do help her with emergencies, but she is getting more self-sufficient. My middle daughter has been making her own way with very little help since high school, and my youngest is just now leaving home but she has planned well so I think she will do fine. Geez if they come back in their 50s I am running away from home.
I thought about that too, but if the “children” are not able to be self-sufficient how much help will they be? Maybe they can manage to run errands.
Hubby used to tell our daughters- “18 is out the door, no takesy backsy- you will go to college, join the military, or get a job- but you will support yourself.” Of course now he is the one that digs in his wallet to give them a few bucks without them asking when we see them.
I got a new job within 2 months, but stayed there for a year to build up the down payment for a new house. This was at their request, not mine.
End of the year, I moved out with my wife and kids, and we have been in our new house ever since. All in all, I am much better off than I was before the backstab. Especially since I was able to move back to my hometown, something I had wanted to do for years.
And just last year, my son quit his job in Memphis to move back home. He had a ob before he quit, but nevertheless, being able to stay with us for a few months helped him with his credit card debt, and we enjoyed the granddaughter.
So, sometimes it is necessary. AFter all, home is where, if you have to go back there, they have to take you. And that's the way iti should be.
No, it doesn’t end when the parents die. Then these kids are angry the life insurance benefit wasn’t more and that the parents took that Alaskan cruise instead of saving “their inheritance.”
I think you’ve pointed out what’s key: it really depends on the situation and the individuals involved.
It can be a good thing or a bad thing; wise or immature; responsible or irresponsible.
It can be one wonderful way a family is there for each other or a way where people are taken advantage of.
There’s a LOT of older adults who are there mentally but their bodies can’t do small things anymore. Hands, failing strength, eyes aren’t great anymore, etc.
not if one waits for marriage adn then is faithful.
That’s true, I took care of my parents at the end so I know the elderly can use help. I do think it certainly depends on the circumstance- I guess I was commenting more about the lady that had not figured out how to help her parents with rent and groceries, not real sure how much help someone like her would be, she sounds pretty helpless.
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