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What Was Silda Spitzer Thinking?
Washington Post/Newsweek ^ | March 14, 2008 | by Sally Quinn

Posted on 03/14/2008 8:11:56 AM PDT by jdm

** EXCERPT **

Once, just once, wouldn’t you love to see the politician up there at the lectern sweating bullets, apologizing for letting down his wife and family …. alone?

Once, just once, wouldn’t you love to see the wife issuing her own statement saying that what he had done was unacceptable and that she was leaving him?

Wouldn’t that be morally correct?

But instead, again and again, we see the pathetic, ravaged faces of these women victims, standing supportively beside their husbands as they allow themselves to be excruciatingly humiliated in front of the whole world.

We really haven’t come a long way baby, have we? Certainly not in the case of women married to elected officials.

For the past few days since the Spitzer scandal broke, all anyone has been talking about is why? Why would a guy with a fabulous education, brilliant career, powerful position, beautiful and brainy wife and a lovely family, risk losing everything for a couple of evenings with a hooker.

(Excerpt) Read more at newsweek.washingtonpost.com ...


TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; Editorial; News/Current Events; US: New York
KEYWORDS: silda; sildaspitzer; spitzer; spitzmas
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To: eleni121

That’s the topic of this thread, dingbat. People are trying to advise her on what kind of message she should send about her marriage. I’m saying that there is no reason to send any message. She did the right thing by standing there and letting people guess, instead of making some kind of point about her marriage by refusing to be there.


61 posted on 03/14/2008 9:21:32 AM PDT by dinoparty
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To: jdm
What Was Silda Spitzer Thinking?

$$,$$$,$$$?

Cordially,

62 posted on 03/14/2008 9:24:16 AM PDT by Diamond
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To: dinoparty

Because its none of our business


You wrote that wingnut and I was responding to that.

“it” is our business—when she lives with a criminal who is a publically elected official living off and making decisions on our dime.

Now go cry to your mommy.


63 posted on 03/14/2008 9:26:47 AM PDT by eleni121 (Solzhenitsyn on the bombing of Serbia: "no difference whatsoever between NATO and the Nazis")
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To: cajungirl

“Inherited money is not community property until it is commingled or shared. His dad’s fortune is not hers nor should it be.”

In that case, she won’t get much with a divorce since Spitzer’s money is inherited.


64 posted on 03/14/2008 9:43:56 AM PDT by Poser (Willing to fight for oil)
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To: Poser

Spitzer’s wife has money of her own. She was a very successful high powered corporate lawyer, who booked lots of hours a year, working up to sixty hours a week.


65 posted on 03/14/2008 9:46:46 AM PDT by Eva (Benedict Arnold was a war hero, too.)
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To: Wil H
If that is the case, she's as big a scumbag as he is.

I would agree on that point. However, I never saw anything beyond a line or two of pure speculation of that being the case.
66 posted on 03/14/2008 9:59:45 AM PDT by zencat (The universe is not what it appears, nor is it something else.)
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To: jdm

More important for the average citizen is whether she knew anything about his financially corrupt practices...for instance has there been any blackmail during these years for ex - has his prosecutorial zeal been corrupted by his “private activities”?

If and when she is called to testify she will be asked about this.


67 posted on 03/14/2008 10:04:06 AM PDT by eleni121 (Solzhenitsyn on the bombing of Serbia: "no difference whatsoever between NATO and the Nazis")
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To: goldstategop
She's upholding HER vows - in bad times as well in good. That's the promise two people make to each other when they get married. I won't presume to judge her decision to be there for her husband.

Completely agree. Yes, she's a mature woman and the two may have strong feelings toward each other (actual friendship). That attachment and emotions do not immediately end for most. No question, Eliot is scum for his behavior. However, The "throw his clothes on the lawn" doesn't resolve anything. I greatly respect her for standing beside her spouse, and attempting to resolve the issue. The relationship will likely end, however divorce is a process, and open communication, not anger, is the proper method to get through it. As a human, I feel greatly for Silda.
68 posted on 03/14/2008 10:15:07 AM PDT by zencat (The universe is not what it appears, nor is it something else.)
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To: jdm; 1000 silverlings; Gamecock; xzins; Alex Murphy; blue-duncan; Lord_Calvinus; Forest Keeper; ...
Let's try this again since IMO Quinn's hypocrisy is worth repeating...

As a self-proclaimed proud atheist, and a card-carrying "Other Woman" in her break-up of Ben Bradlee's marriage, what Sally Quinn thinks about anything, least of all the adultery of married men with selfish, mindless bimbos and the wives and families who are the casualties of their careless transgressions, is of no consequence to anyone with half a brain.

Does Quinn think we've forgotten her own tacky rise to the corner office?

Mistress, heal thyself.

69 posted on 03/14/2008 10:15:17 AM PDT by Dr. Eckleburg ("I don't think they want my respect; I think they want my submission." - Flemming Rose)
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To: wideawake
Her marriage of 20 years turned into a nightmare last Sunday.

Well, at least she's in a better position than the wife of ex-NJ-gov McGreevey, who announced his gay infidelity to the world. That must have stung the wife a bit

70 posted on 03/14/2008 10:35:11 AM PDT by PapaBear3625
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To: dinoparty

Standing up alongside this whore-banger who embarrassed her and her daughters is not being a good wife, or a good example for her children. This was simply enabling him, and her being badgered to have some part in helping him to get out of the mess that he created by his own willful activities. Wrong choice.

She should have made a statement, alone, at a podium she dominated. What that statement said may well have expressed support, or whatever else she feels. However, she should have made it clear that the fault was his, and that it was up to him and him alone to extract his sorry butt from the mess he created.

Her poor children. What will she tell these three teenage daughters now?


71 posted on 03/14/2008 10:39:42 AM PDT by AFPhys ((.Praying for President Bush, our troops, their families, and all my American neighbors..))
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To: dinoparty
“No, standing there is a deliberate action, not showing up at her husbands press conference isn’t, unless you consider she has an obligation to be there.”...You honestly believe that the issue of her marriage would be discussed less in public if she had NOT been there? Please.

Of course not, as I noted they're public figures. You'll note my first comment on the thread was addressing your contension that its none of our business. He is accountable to the public, but her decisions about the marriage are private, and should be. By virtue of his position, it's a public issue, as is her reaction. Had she decided not to show that would send a message too, though it could also be misinterprited.

72 posted on 03/14/2008 10:57:14 AM PDT by SJackson (Never talk when you can nod, never nod when you can wink, never write an e-mail, E. Spitzer)
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To: dinoparty

Probably should have added, she had no good choice here.


73 posted on 03/14/2008 10:59:22 AM PDT by SJackson (Never talk when you can nod, never nod when you can wink, never write an e-mail, E. Spitzer)
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To: wideawake
“I feel bad for her and I can't condemn her.”

Spitzer is a viper, ruining peoples lives and careers for fun and profit. She married and supported that viper. As far as I am concerned she can rot in hell along with her husband. Those two deserve each other.

I know she knew her husband was rotten. How could she not given the way he treats other human beings. She isn't shocked or angry at him for his infidelity. She is angry at him for getting caught, thats all.

74 posted on 03/14/2008 11:05:00 AM PDT by monday
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To: SJackson

I thought that she was being too supportive, but my wife stranghtened it out for me.

Her feelings on this issue have already been expressed to him in private. Whether or not she is at the press conference changes nothing of the message to him. She didn’t say a word in public, but I’m sure he has gotten more than an earful.

If he knows their relationship is doomed, her presence is just more punishment for him. Everyone put yourself in his shoes. Which is harder for him - apologizing when she is back at the apartment, or apologizing with her glaring over his shoulder?


75 posted on 03/14/2008 11:07:55 AM PDT by Toskrin (Bringing you global cooling since 1999)
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To: monday
Spitzer is a viper, ruining peoples lives and careers for fun and profit. She married and supported that viper.

When they met, he was just a Harvard law student.

I know several women who were married to men whose personalities took a very dark turn.

They will admit that the warning signs were there: one woman I know was married to a man who was a very exciting guy, who was always the first with a spontaneous and fun idea, a good joke to cheer her up. He had a good job as an equity trader, nice family etc.

Ten years later he was a degenerate gambler who had lost his job and all their savings.

It took her years to leave the guy because she still loved him for who he had been when times were good.

I have very personal reasons to despise Elito Spitzer, but I do not feel the same way about Silda Spitzer. I think she was victimized by him as my family was, but even worse.

76 posted on 03/14/2008 11:10:59 AM PDT by wideawake (Why is it that those who call themselves Constitutionalists know the least about the Constitution?)
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To: Toskrin

I can’t judge her feelings nor his. He could have simply resigned and released a short written statement to the press.


77 posted on 03/14/2008 11:27:36 AM PDT by SJackson ( G-d da*n America, J Wright; Don't tell me words don't matter!, BH Obama)
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To: jdm
What Was Silda Spitzer Thinking?

{thinking to herself}I have him by the short hairs. Eliot, your arrogant patrician ass is mine. It's mine until the day you die. No matter what any prison husband who picks you in the future might think, I own it. Now and forever.

78 posted on 03/14/2008 11:32:31 AM PDT by E. Cartman (Huckaboob will never be Vice President.)
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To: monday

Wow, Quite a tirade against a person you do not know, nor could you possibly know what she was thinking. Who pee-peed in your Post Toasties this morning?


79 posted on 03/14/2008 11:47:54 AM PDT by texgal (end no-fault divorce laws return DUE PROCESS & EQUAL PROTECTION to ALL citizens))
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To: Iron Munro

Excluding calculated and scripted responses like Hillary Clinton’s at the news of Bill’s latest discretion, this happens often enough that it seems there is a pattern of the faithful spouse standing by her man at times like this.
At least in the early days.
I think it is normal human behavior.

It is a normal response to any signifiant blow to a person because of the impact and shock, the unexpected immensity of the revelation and the almost instantaneous intense media scrutiny that has to be dealt with out of the blue.

Under these conditions no one has the time to make a considered judgement, especially when all the facts are not yet in.
So in the short term, emotion drives people to the fallback position, which is to stand by the spouse, to stand by the relationship with a loved one, and most of all, to protect the family, to pull it together against the threat of outside forces.

There is time enough after the initial frenzy to consider and reconsider the facts, to evaluate the long term consequences of a betrayal and make a more deliberate decision as to the best course of action for the long term.

And that is what seems to happen.
Look at the situation of New Jersey Governor James McGreevey who announced his gay love affair.
At the start his wife, Dina, stood by him.
But after the spotlight was off them she arrived at the decision to divorce him.

50 posted on 03/14/2008 9:24:12 AM PDT by Iron Munro (Suppose you were an idiot


I disagree.

It is an ABNOMRAL reaction to stifle ANGER and DISAPPOINTMENT and stand next to the cheating liar.

I wouldn’t.

I’d be absent. As to whether or not we divorced would be the “private matter”.


80 posted on 03/14/2008 1:02:34 PM PDT by nmh (Intelligent people recognize Intelligent Design (God).)
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