That goes both ways! Anyone who talks about “settling” is basically saying “you’re better than nothing”.
But we have a really screwed up notion of love in our culture. We think it’s nothing but a feeling. That’s the hormones talking. Love takes work. It’s a decision. If you remember that - if you decide to fall in love - well, then, that makes the job a lot easier.
When I met Talon, I didn’t fall for him and then realize he was so compatible with me. I realized that he was everything I was looking for and then decided to fall for him.
And you too have a good marriage and a good relationship. Love is an action and an activity. But it comes out of sincere feelings and motivations.
I am a very strong believer that the worst thing anyone can do is think they HAVE to find love. You have to be able to function without it-— give it away yes, but you can’t be so hungry for it that you’ll take crumbs when you deserve the whole cake.