[najida]

And you too have a good marriage and a good relationship. Love is an action and an activity. But it comes out of sincere feelings and motivations.

I am a very strong believer that the worst thing anyone can do is think they HAVE to find love. You have to be able to function without it-— give it away yes, but you can’t be so hungry for it that you’ll take crumbs when you deserve the whole cake.

[Tax-chick]

You have to be able to function without it-— give it away yes, but you can’t be so hungry for it that you’ll take crumbs when you deserve the whole cake.

Great observation.

[TalonDJ]

I am a very strong believer that the worst thing anyone can do is think they HAVE to find love. You have to be able to function without it-—

Oh I totally agree there. I worked hard to be where I was happy not being married before ever found Jen. I knew there were things I wanted out of marriage but I wanted to be happy with who I was and more or less where I was. Having achieved that and then not settling on the woman part made it so getting married was actually a surprisingly small change in life in general. Not small, but smaller than I expected or had been lead to believe. If you have to change your whole life and everything you do in order to be married then you are not likely to be happy. Of course that does not count the things you ADD to your life or reprioritzations. It was not that I was unwilling to change a lot. It was that by not setting on the actual things that really mattered I did not have to.

As much as I like the sound of 'find that person you can't live without' I did not do that at all. Pretty much the reverse. I think that might work differently depending on what age you get married.