Haven't thought about him in ages. Was he hot or what? In "Lady Sings the Blues" he could melt celluloid.
Posted on 01/29/2008 12:45:47 PM PST by TC Rider
“I’m already breaking the bank to enjoy the distinct taste of Colt 45,” admitted Chad, a self-proclaimed “Colt 45 man.” “If the price goes up any higher, I’ll have to switch to Silver Thunder or Steel Reserve. It’s not like I’d want to. But if I kept slugging Colt at those prices, I’d be living way beyond my means (in a pop-up behind my sister’s) and that would just be irresponsible.”
Comments like that leave no room for your humble satirist to operate. Every ounce of comedic potential has already been wrung out of this situation, by Chad himself.
If your malt liquor tastes nasty, it’s not cold enough, or you’re expectations are too high.
“Malt liquor tastes nasty” is roughly the same as “Thunderbird’s bouquet is too coy.”
Don’t you know that Chad has to blow off a little steam after selling those cell phones all day for Altel.
Remember “Cold Cock” from SNL:
Spokesman: You know, when I entertain, occasionally my friends and I like to discuss just what is the best malt licquor.
Girl #1: I say Bull.
Girl #2:I say Cobra.
Spokesman: And I say it’s all just talk. Unless it’s the one they call.. Coldcock.
[ cut to Man at Party standing near piano ]
Man at Party: There’s only one malt liquor that’ll get your head humming.
Spokesman: [ enters ] Coldcock’s the one you’ll never see coming. [ opens can and hands it to the Man at Party ]
[ Man at Party sips Coldcock, then holds it in front of him. Suddenly, an animated arm jumps off of the can and punches the Man in the chin ]
Man at Party: [ reeling ] Pro-per!
Partygoers: [ whispery ] Coldcock!
Spokesman: I have yet to meet the man that can finish a whole Coldcock can.
Woman at Party: [ steps forward ] I ain’t afraid of no can of beer! Give me one! [ sips the malt liquor ] Mmm.. Coldcock.. [ the arm jumps off the can and socks her in the jaw ] Ooh..! You one malt liquor picker!
Spokesman: Like I said - it’s all just talk, unless it’s the one they call Coldcock. [ takes a sip of his own, then flinches upon expecting the punch. He smiles at his own cunning, as the arm finally jumps off the can and punches him hard across his chin ] Fan-tas-tic.. [ slowly drops to the floor ]
Announcer: Coldcock. You never see it coming.
Spokesman: [ raises head up from the floor ] Damn. That’s one strong malt liquor. [ drops his head to the floor again ]
The best malt liquor
Molson Brador....made in canada. Brador is better than Moslon beer.
Ah, there was nothing like sauntering up to the checkout counter to pay for your $1.25 40oz bottle of Old English 800 with a pocketful of nickles, dimes and quarters.
“...should still expand Colt 45’s market-share to include really-poor consumers, making up for the loss of the painfully-poor consumers who will be forced to get bent on less-expensive brands.”
Nothing quite like objective reporting.
Brador was better than Extra Stock. But Labatt’s Extra Stock gave you a 0.3% alcohol bonus. It might not sound like a lot, but in the long run . . . .
According to the disclaimer at the bottom of the article, the author is known for a lot of things, but not objective reporting.
” All I know is that Colt 45 is wonderful at room temp on an early Summer morning. Lovin’ it for over 30 years. “
I don’t drink Colt 45 ( here in Japan ) ...but I can dig the room temperature on an early summer morning scenario ...You are a man after my own heart ! Cheers !
Oh Yeah!
Haven't thought about him in ages. Was he hot or what? In "Lady Sings the Blues" he could melt celluloid.
"It is the Powerrrrrrrr!"
I fell in love with when I saw Brian’s Song.
Not as good as F’ed Up Malt Liquor!
I like Blue up to a point but could never stomach the Extra Stock. Like Brador and can’t stomach Molson Canadian or Golden.
Always preferred Brador and Player’s Navy Cut with an AR-15 ;-)
Or paying for it, like Dude, with a personal check.
Cool. I thought maybe I was alone in that predilection.
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