Sorry, but marriage and sex DON'T go together (British wife's book)

Daily Mail ^ | 25th January 2008 | SADIE NICHOLAS

[timm22]

Also, add in the ‘he was already pretty selfish in bed to start with’ factor (which often goes hand in hand with being selfish in other ways). A lot of women don’t want to go down the ‘lay down and let him do me like a good wife’ path because it will just make the situation worse instead of better.

Am I making sense?

Absolutely. I think both partners deserve an honest effort from their counterpart. To me, a man who is utterly indifferent to his wife's sexual satisfaction is just as bad as the frigid woman.

I guess what I am getting at is that communication should come first. Neither side should have to "submit", nor should the relationship have to endure permanent discord. If one partner is having a problem, they should bring it out in the open so both sides can work on it. If one partner is bothered by the other, but fails to ever bring it up, I think they are ultimately responsible for whatever problems the relationship suffers as a result.

To me, this seems better than just one side giving up and expecting the other to reciprocate. Too often good people can be oblivious to the problems they cause in a relationship.

[Antoninus]

Sure. If you don't want children.

I have five kids. All I can say is that life is very, very good as a practicing Catholic who accepts the teachings of the Church on sexuality.

[HungarianGypsy]

that is my biggest complaint with all the men/women bashing threads of bitter people on FR, they want to take ZERO responsibility for having made the original error in selecting the mate in the first place. My boss always says, "I know everyone makes mistakes. I've been married twice, which means I made one."

[Abigail Adams]

Generally speaking, if men put in the time and effort to learn about what “works” for the woman, and also put in the time and effort to nurture the emotional component of marriage (ie, talk), the sex will be better.

[xsmommy]

yeah well, there are always the superficial ones who are looks-obsessed. they are often the same ones that err on the side of picking the hottie, who turns out to be someone that can't be trusted to save it just for him.

it is incumbent upon both spouses to want to try to attract the other. if they aren't so shallow, and have a loving relationship, they can both work on making that happen.

[Antoninus]

Glad to see some freepers are gettin’ lucky.

Luck has nothing to do with it. Be a man. Treat your wife like a lady. Help her when she's pregnant. Be HAPPY when she's pregnant. Love your children.

How hard is this, really?

[xsmommy]

and i do note that a number of the “cow” comments derive from her bad attitude exhibited in this piece, but i know what you mean : )

[swain_forkbeard]

I really don’t know where to start with this one. So I won’t.

GUILTY!

[Centurion2000]

Carrie Jones hasn't had sex with her husband Hal, a City banker, for the past four years. Nor does she want to. Sex is something she can no longer summon the effort to endure - with the man she married, at least.

Screw that .... well, apparently not but if a wife fails to put out for a month she deserves to become an ex-wife. (Unless it's after giving birth, but even then she has other skills to compensate)

[RobRoy]

>>Glad to see some freepers are gettin’ lucky.<<

I make my own “luck”.

‘Course, it takes two to tango, and some don’t like dancing no matter what you do.

[my_pointy_head_is_sharp]

Eventually Carrie was forced to confess her feelings about Mark to her husband after he discovered the email exchanges between the two on her computer. Astonishingly, Hal comforted her while she sobbed and, she says, for a short time the pair were closer and more able to talk.

I was feeling sorry for the husband until I read this. The man is a weenie. And apparently so much of a weenie that she didn't even mind writing a secret book about their love life (or lack thereof), publishing it, and posing for articles - all without his knowledge. This is all intended to be a slap in the face to him. But since he is a weenie, I can't even imagine what his response will be.

[ga medic]

“Women aren’t the only ones who can become unattractive over time.....Maybe he started out doable and things went south, fast....real fast. :)”

IMO, there is something wrong here that doesn’t have anything to do with attractiveness. How can any man stay married to a wife that hasn’t had sex with him in 4 years? I am not one of those guys that thinks that sex is everything but seriously...

Maybe he gets it on the side, or maybe he is the self reliant kind of guy, but it seems like there is a medical problem here of some kind.

[SoDak]

Oh man, I SO do not deserve this woman I’m marrying. I’m grabbing with both hands and holding on. heh.

[Centurion2000]

How do you spell self-absorbed british frigid tart??

Camilla?

[timm22]

Or maybe the husband begins to go out with his friends in response to the wife’s sudden drop in desire.

That's a possible scenario. But then it would be the husband's responsibility to bring this to the wife's attention, instead of just compounding the problem by ignoring her.

[what's up]

This is all intended to be a slap in the face to him

That's my take too. It took him finding her emails to talk over and address the issue last time.

This time she's going for a book to get his attention.

[Kennesaw]

“Glad to see some freepers are gettin’ lucky.”

I wouldn’t call it luck... :-)

[xsmommy]

so far ; )

[SnakeDoctor]

>> yeah well, there are always the superficial ones who are looks-obsessed. they are often the same ones that err on the side of picking the hottie ...

Reminds me of a picture I saw online ...

H

[najida]

The first key in all of this is knowing yourself....
why you want to be married, what you expect, what you fear.....not may folks are even aware why they do what they do, much less what their partner wants and expects.

Sometimes we figure it all out after the ink has dried on the page.