Posted on 01/20/2008 9:42:43 PM PST by Bear_Slayer
Now obviously I can't speak for every male, but I feel qualified to speak in general terms.
This is aimed at the married woman, but is applicable to the woman that is involved in a long term relationship.
Learn these things and you might get your relationship to last. Ignore them at your peril.
1. He is not your zit. Stop picking at him.
Women love to pick at zits. They'll sneak up on you while you're shaving and start squeezing. It's an annoying habit they can't break. They also do this emotionally and intellectually. This is done when they ask us silly questions like:
"Do you love me because you need me, our need me because you love me?"
The fact is we love you and need you. Beyond that, we have no idea. Some invisible rock hit us in the head one day and we realized we can't live without you, until you drive us insane, then we can't live with you.
Similar questions are along the lines of, "Do these pants make my butt look big?"
The fact is, you have a big butt and your butt makes those pants look big. Another fact: we don't care. When the invisiable rock hit us, it didn't clue us in that you had a big butt; it simply made us aware of the fact, "Girl nice. Me like girl, lot."
I knew a woman once that had a big butt. She wasn't even the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, but the invisible rock was huge and I would have crawled through broken glass to be with her if she were single.
You have a big butt. Get over it. If you are constantly aware of your own big butt, you will make us constantly aware of it and you don't want that.
2. It's ok for him to compare you to his mother, as in, "That's not how my mother does it."
The fact is our mother is the only significant woman that ever loved us, until you came along. She fed, bathed, dress, nurtured, encouraged and loved us -- and we like how our mom made our potatos, cookies, &etc. Don't change the recipe. We like it that way. There is nothing Freudian about it.
3. Don't expect a deep relationship and don't try to draw us into meaningful conversations.
We're not comfortable exploring our inner feelings. Most guys don't trust their feelings and the smarter ones recognize that its their feelings that got them into the relationship in the first place.
Do you want a meaningful relationship? Go sip lattes with your friends and explore each other's cavernous feelings. It's a level you can all relate to and prop one another up.
4. Don't trust everything your girlfriend tells you.
Just because they read it in Redbook or Ms. does not make it so. Those magazines are written by women, for women, that grew up on Danielle Steele.
And don't ask us. We don't know and we're not that complicated anyways. If you simply watch us, without over-analyzing you'll figure us out. At a basic level we eat, we sleep, we copulate, and we play sports. Not necessarily in that order and not necessarily at different times.
5. You don't always have to be talking.
Men can communicate through subtle mechanisms. It's how we know when a woman likes us, or when the guy across the bar is looking for a fight, etc.
6. Don't make us carry you through life.
We're trying to get through it also. We'll be happy to stand in front and take some of the blows, but listen, carry your own baggage. We got our own to deal with.
Lastly,
When the big rock hit us, it really didn't matter what you looked like on the outside. Love is blind. We fell in love with the way your eyes twinkle when you smile. When you giggle when we say something silly or funny. And yes, even the way your breasts look in that tight sweater. However, none of that will matter ever again if you screw it up by driving us insane.
You got ‘er nailed.
It seems I have gotten myself in a lot of trouble in here with the ladies of FR with my post (#7). I think I will lay low awhile. LOL
If I tell my wife she doesn't cook like my mother it's a compliment. My mother was a lousy cook!
Yuck is right!
There’s quite a lot of research about this subject with all studies arriving at the same conclusion.
NewRomeTacitus started it. It’s a really low volume ping list. A list of the current members can be found on the bottom of my FR page.
Agreed, Grizzled Bear.
I wince when I hear the ‘stupid husband’ commercials, and I can get discouraged by the specifically American woman-hating posts and threads here. I took this one as essentially good natured. But love and appreciation are called for (and work best!) all around.
I didn’t say it was purposely manipulative.
Excellent!
(and I’m a woman)
I don't know about other men but the problem with that question for me is that the answer is "No."
I don't need you. I don't know why I love you I just love you. The reason is beyond my ability to know and I stopped beating my head against a wall trying to get an answer that will never come to me. Frankly, I don't care why I love you I'm just happy (most of the time) that I do. Also, I don't need you because I love you I want you because I love you. That concept shouldn't be hard for anyone.
As for the "big butt" issue; if you think your clothes make your butt look big then don't wear any. Then we'll both be happy! ; )
Why did you signup for the women are evvvvvvvvvvvvil ping list?
I am curious. Curiosity did kill the cat though.
ping
LOL! I love Jeff Dun-ham (dot com!).
Saw him this past fall - laughed my tail off!
Pinging myself, I’ll bump this and add my own little ‘warning’ list to potential girlfriends.
I don’t cry. I just can’t cry anymore, it doesn’t happen. I wish at times I could...
My little warning list to women:
I don’t ask that you listen to the music I like, I just ask that you accept I like the bands I do.
I also ask that you don’t howl like a dog whenever I sing in the shower or play guitar. Doing that doesn’t help my playing at all.
I also ask that you understand I’m kinda slow to realizing things; I don’t recognize hints well. If you want to let me know about something just tell me. Hinting won’t get anything done.
Yes I like guns and I intend to own more than one. Don’t like it, that’s too darn bad.
No, I don’t want you to weigh 80lbs at 5’. It’s not attractive and it’s certainly not healthy. I’m not fit myself but if you’re short, I don’t want to see your ribcage.
No, I don’t want you to layer makeup. I prefer natural beauty over looks you buy at a store. As mentioned above I also like a good figure over a stick.
Yes, I’m a little more weird than normal. I talk to myself and mumble sometimes. No you haven’t made me crazy yet.
I can’t really think of anything else at 2:15AM EST.
btt
What a great idea, I wonder why no one ever thought of that before.
ha ha
There's truth in that statement.
Both my daughters and my wife found out that crying, when there's no physical pain, doesn't do a thing to change Dad's mind.
Do you want to be on it?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.