Posted on 01/20/2008 9:42:43 PM PST by Bear_Slayer
Now obviously I can't speak for every male, but I feel qualified to speak in general terms.
This is aimed at the married woman, but is applicable to the woman that is involved in a long term relationship.
Learn these things and you might get your relationship to last. Ignore them at your peril.
1. He is not your zit. Stop picking at him.
Women love to pick at zits. They'll sneak up on you while you're shaving and start squeezing. It's an annoying habit they can't break. They also do this emotionally and intellectually. This is done when they ask us silly questions like:
"Do you love me because you need me, our need me because you love me?"
The fact is we love you and need you. Beyond that, we have no idea. Some invisible rock hit us in the head one day and we realized we can't live without you, until you drive us insane, then we can't live with you.
Similar questions are along the lines of, "Do these pants make my butt look big?"
The fact is, you have a big butt and your butt makes those pants look big. Another fact: we don't care. When the invisiable rock hit us, it didn't clue us in that you had a big butt; it simply made us aware of the fact, "Girl nice. Me like girl, lot."
I knew a woman once that had a big butt. She wasn't even the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, but the invisible rock was huge and I would have crawled through broken glass to be with her if she were single.
You have a big butt. Get over it. If you are constantly aware of your own big butt, you will make us constantly aware of it and you don't want that.
2. It's ok for him to compare you to his mother, as in, "That's not how my mother does it."
The fact is our mother is the only significant woman that ever loved us, until you came along. She fed, bathed, dress, nurtured, encouraged and loved us -- and we like how our mom made our potatos, cookies, &etc. Don't change the recipe. We like it that way. There is nothing Freudian about it.
3. Don't expect a deep relationship and don't try to draw us into meaningful conversations.
We're not comfortable exploring our inner feelings. Most guys don't trust their feelings and the smarter ones recognize that its their feelings that got them into the relationship in the first place.
Do you want a meaningful relationship? Go sip lattes with your friends and explore each other's cavernous feelings. It's a level you can all relate to and prop one another up.
4. Don't trust everything your girlfriend tells you.
Just because they read it in Redbook or Ms. does not make it so. Those magazines are written by women, for women, that grew up on Danielle Steele.
And don't ask us. We don't know and we're not that complicated anyways. If you simply watch us, without over-analyzing you'll figure us out. At a basic level we eat, we sleep, we copulate, and we play sports. Not necessarily in that order and not necessarily at different times.
5. You don't always have to be talking.
Men can communicate through subtle mechanisms. It's how we know when a woman likes us, or when the guy across the bar is looking for a fight, etc.
6. Don't make us carry you through life.
We're trying to get through it also. We'll be happy to stand in front and take some of the blows, but listen, carry your own baggage. We got our own to deal with.
Lastly,
When the big rock hit us, it really didn't matter what you looked like on the outside. Love is blind. We fell in love with the way your eyes twinkle when you smile. When you giggle when we say something silly or funny. And yes, even the way your breasts look in that tight sweater. However, none of that will matter ever again if you screw it up by driving us insane.
See my post 186#. Totally agree.
Make that 156
Wow. All I can say is that you are about to do alot of heavy lifting with that girlfriend of yours. Good luck!
NOOO!
That was supposed to be private, I’m asking the mod to remove it.
LOL!
No, what I have is an FR Pinglist of “Wimmen R’Evil”.
This is one of those threads.
Why? ... it's as reasonable, and valuable, as the list at the top of the thread.
Good luck with all of that...
That's sad. I never think that. I have several hiding places already picked out.
Thanks-—
These bash threads are just so one sided and unfair.
And I’ve yet to meet a man, who when bitching about a woman’s baggage, was doing it because he didn’t have space in the Uhaul he was dragging around behind him.
WRONG! 30 years down the wedding trail and she still gets my stuff without asking first, uses it, and then promptly misplaces or loses it. I can't count the times I've hacked my face bloody like Freddy Kruger with my razor after she's used it to scrap the sandpaper off her legs. And BTW, she has her own razor.
Spanky and Alfalfa founded the “HeMan Women Haters Club” then Yoko Darla busted that up.
Not saying I agree with everything in it ... but the usual female response to this sort of thread is mindless shrieking ... hence the usual degradation of the thread into a bash-fest.
I welcome the reasonableness.
Dang.
It’s gone.
That really sucks.
I shoulda saved it while I had the chance.
Thanks.
I mean, I can one up-—
For every horror story a guy here has, so does a female.
It just makes me sad.
I’ll PM it to you.
One, the ‘abused’ woman who is often the real problem and who is weak and unable to keep her own counsel and unable to confront her own relationship straightforwardly and honestly
I hope your experience worked out as well. The other is the ‘Girl Friend’ who, as you rightly point out, is often completely dysfunctional herself and with her own agenda that, at some level, hates what she sees as the “abusive, controlling, domineering men” she believes she has encountered her whole life and who she is going to protect her friend from in the future.
While not a formal alliance in terms of rules and regulations (There are so-called ‘Women’s Support Groups’ that are sometimes in this area) it is a widespread behavior trait on the part of many women.
I speak from experience as well, having successfully beaten off such an assault on my privacy, my home life and my relationship, but it was not easy even though the facts were perfectly clear. I just had to overcome what I see as a certain irrationality in many women and the rest was easy.
Yep, and during my marriage every gift I got from a family member ‘disappeared’. A CD I got from a friend of 30 years got tossed in the trash. If he didn’t like it or want to see it, it vanished...his remark was ‘it was junk’.....
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