FReeper Canteen~Share Your Resolutions~31 Dec 2007

Happy New Year! | Canteen Crew

[AZamericonnie]

The Freeper Canteen Asks

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS YOU CAN KEEP

Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year that you never keep?

Why not promise to do something you can actually accomplish? Here are some resolutions that you can use as a starting point:

1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
2. Stop exercising. Waste of time.
3. Read less. Makes you think.
4. Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.
5. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
6. Not date any of the Baywatch cast.
7. Spend more time at work, surfing with the T1. 8. Take a vacation to someplace important: like,the back of the livingroom sofa.
9. Not jump off a cliff just because everyone else did.
10. Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.
11. Not have eight children at once.
12. Get in a whole NEW rut!
13. Start being superstitious.
14. Personal goal: bring back disco.
15. Not wrestle with Mike Tyson.
16. Not bet against the New England Patriots.
17. Buy an '83 Eldorado and invest in a really loud stereo system.
18. Get the windows tinted. Buy some fur for the dash.
19. Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabicwords.
20. Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a belt.
21. Spend my summer vacation in Cyberspace.
22. Not eat cloned meat.
23. Create loose ends.
24. Get more toys.
25. Get further in debt.
26. Not believe politicians.
27. Break at least one traffic law.
28. Not drive a motorized vehicle across thin ice.
29. Avoid transmission of inter-species diseases.
30. Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000 feet.
31. Stay off the MIR space station.
32. Not worry that a new strain of bug will cause the end of the world.
33. Get wired with high-speed net connections at home.
34. Not swim with Pirahnas or sharks.
35. Associate with even worse business clients.
36. Spread out priorities beyond my ability to keep track of them.
37. Wait around for opportunity.
38. Focus on the faults of others.
39. Mope about my faults.
40. Never make New Year's resolutions again.

[MS.BEHAVIN]

Sorry this pic is fuzzy..
This is my buddy, Jake!

[Randy Larsen]

It always cracks me up when my family tries to put all the candles on my cake...

By the time they get the last on lit, the first few have burnt down to the frosting! LOL!

[MS.BEHAVIN]

Thank you!
I thought it was real pretty, too!

[luvie]

Lovely...but...BRRRRRRRRR! :D

[MS.BEHAVIN]

More frosted branches..

[luvie]

Your buddy looks cold! :D

[GodBlessUSA]

They will have to start buying the numbers now. ;)

[MS.BEHAVIN]

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep
and miles to go before I sleep.
Robert Frost

Hope you enjoyed the pics!

[Randy Larsen]

Yeah! It’s pretty bad when you can’t see the color of the frosting for all the candles! LOL!

[Randy Larsen]

Did you see this?

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Vq-DwHXx4oI#bBnXSxjefxk

[MS.BEHAVIN]

LOL
I only put him out long enough to do his chores, then he comes back inside!

[MS.BEHAVIN]

LOL
Yeah, just a “dusting”
*groan*

[Randy Larsen]

Subject: Diary of a Demented snow shoveler

December 8 6:00 PM
It started to snow. The first snow of the season and
the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by
the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down
from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!December 9
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow
covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic
sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I’ve ever had!
Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a
boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.
This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered
up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got
to shovel again. What a perfect life!
December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry-
we’ll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on
Christmas would be awful! Bob says we’ll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I’ll never want to see snow again. I don’t think that’s possible. Bob is such a nice man, I’m glad he’s our neighbor.
December 14
Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The
temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn’t realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I’ll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish
I wouldn’t huff and puff so.
December 15
20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4
Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife’s car and 2
extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants
a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think
that’s silly. We aren’t in Alaska, after all.
December 16
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in
the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The
wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very
cruel.
December 18
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go
anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to
pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but
stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I
should’ve bought a wood stove, but won’t admit it to
her. God I hate it when she’s right. I can’t believe
I’m freezing to death in my own livingroom.
December 20
Electricity is back on, but had another 14 inches of
the damn stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all
day. The damn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they’re too busy playing hockey. I think they’re lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about
buying a snow blower and they’re out. Might have
another shipment in March. I think they’re lying. Bob
says I have to shovel or the city will have it done
and bill me. I think he’s lying.
December 22
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it’s so cold, it probably won’t melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he’s too busy. I think the asshole is lying.
December 23
Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0.
The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house
this morning. What is she, nuts?!! Why didn’t she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she’s lying.
December 24
6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke
the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I
ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow
plow, I’ll drag him through the snow by his balls and
beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he
hides around the corner and waits for me to finish
shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I’ve just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.
December 25
Merry f-—ing Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn
slop tonight - Snowed in The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she’s a fricking idiot. If I have to watch “It’s A Wonderful Life” one more time, I’m going to stuff her into the microwave.
December 26
Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It
was all HER idea. She’s really getting on my nerves.
December 27
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze;
plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he
only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.
December 28
Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The BITCH is driving me crazy!!!
December 29
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or
it could cave in. That’s the silliest thing I ever
heard. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30
Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only for the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the
broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted.
December 31
I set fire to what’s left of the house. No more
shoveling.
January 8
Feel so good. I just love those little white pills
they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

[potlatch]

Happy New Year to all. From my Profile Page;

[MS.BEHAVIN]

LOL
That’s meeeee!!

[Randy Larsen]

When I first read it, the very first person I thought of was trussell! And EGPWS...

I had to send this to her!

[mylife]

Jake!

[mylife]

Ohhh...that ones nice..

Sorry dropped out, I was on the phone

[MS.BEHAVIN]

LOL
it’s very cute!
She’ll get a kick out of it!

[mylife]

I just love hiking in fresh snow, I like it more sunny though.

Its sooo quiet, very peaceful, and any critters that are out are very evident due th the lack of foilage and tracks in the snow. I like to hike riverbeds lots of critters there.