The feminists are getting what they deserve.
FWIW. I am an attorney with a litigation practice that includes matrimonial law. I can attest to the fact that the system such as it is in New Jersey Courts is noticeably unfair. Besides a general bias in favor of women (and I represent both sides), there are simply abuses of state power that sometimes absolutely shock me to the bone.
Now, for example, there is a noble purpose for having protection from domestic violence. But it is used many times as a sword rather than a shield by women who know, as in the story of Bob from Australia on this thread, that filing a Domestic Violence complaint is the best way to gain an iron grip on control of all the issues: control of the house, control of the kids, control of assets, finances, income. At the same time, the strategic DV puts the man into a total tailspin cut off from everything and presumed guilty no matter what the Constitution says.
In the power grab area, the courts have g-d like powers over both litigants. At a whim, they can impose ruinous financial obligations, cut you off from your precious children and cause you to have to spend your life savings on lawyers. I say “at a whim” because the statutes give extraordinary discretionary powers to the judges; there are rarely clearly defined parameters and certainly no limits on their power. For example, where it concerns children, the only guideline is the infamous phrase “the best interests of the children”. Sounds nice, but it justifies anything. And I mean anything.
Case in point: you didn’t know your children are still children until they’re 21, 22, 23 or 29 years old didja? Well, our brilliant jurists have determined that you have an absolute obligation to support your children right on through college, grad school whatever. Now, you may be a parent who is of the opinion that your kid should work their own way through college, which is something I believe. Not to be cheap or to punish, but because that’s the way I did it and I think it made me a much better person earning my own way and not glomming off my parents until I was in my late 20’s.
In the case of college, the court can also impose the cost on you even when your ex has made every effort that your kids should only apply to the most expensive colleges. Remember also, that, while you are paying their tuition, the child support checks are still going to mom.
Yes, I am a divorced person. But it is really as an attorney against my own best interests that I say the system is absolutely corrupt and unjust, destroys families and especially fathers and makes people spend outrageous fortunes on attorneys.
Whew! I feel better now.
Depends on the situation. Examples:
If the woman, by agreement between the two, took a low end job instead of going to college so HE could finish college/start a business/whatever, then he dumps her once he gets what he wanted, he should have to pay alimony until she gets her degree.
If the man, by agreement between the two of them, goes to college instead of getting a job and she dumps him before he finishes school, then she should pay him alimony until he gets his degree.
Thank you for posting this.
I’m going to be weird now and read every one of the replies before posting my thoughts.
It might take a bit of time, being a full time Father and all...
Hm.
1. The spouses should have to add their combined incomes for their entire marriage. Let’s assume they are married five years, and one spouse earned (for simplicity) an average of $100 per year and the other earned an average of $10 per year. Then each spouse would be entitled to $55 ($110 divided by 2) a year for the next five years. Therefore, the one who earned $100 a year would owe the other $45 a year for five years.
2. The kids get split between the dad and mom. No child support, either.
Got about as much chance of this happening as a republican winning the white house in ‘08.
Until the Gynocracy is overthrown, alimony will always be with us.
Alimony can be a touchy subject. I can see the necessity of it for some situations, but not the necessity to have it last forever.
If a young couple marries right out of high school, one goes on to collage or trade school and becomes the breadwinner while the other stays home to care for the home and children, I can see the need - until the stay at home can earn a living.
Too often alimony seems to be used as a fine - to punish one spouse.