Posted on 12/19/2007 9:56:44 AM PST by PurpleMan
you have skills - your just not exploiting them.
You know, you’re right. Thanks for the uplifting reminder. :)
It’s always nice to get one of those.
I can’t bother trying to have any type of conversation with anyone who is so prejudiced against women that they dismiss anything that women state as simply feelings.
Since there's a chance stories like this ARE true (which seems likely given that you have similar stories of your own), doesn't it make sense to reform the system... just to be on the safe side?
For example, how about giving all sides equal access to legal assistance? Or requiring some form of proof to substantiate abuse claims, or perhaps giving each side a chance to defend themselves in court before imposing something as serious as a restraining order, etc?
I absolutely agree that everyone ought to have to prove abuse.
Absolutely, 100%.
the judge in our case bends over backwards to be fair to him, even when he didn’t show up. They protect his rights alright, while he rides roughshod over ours.
I know I don’t have the worse case, I’m just frustrated at the kid gloves they treat him with. And he hurts my kids, just to get to me. grrrr.
Now I don’t agree that I should provide 50% of the financial support. I make way less and yet I provide 100% of the parenting. Ex goes to church about once, MAYBE twice a month and sits with him and then drives him home and that’s the extent of his “parenting”. I have every decision, every care, every thing. Why shouldn’t he pay more of the support?
That's awful. As I've said, both good men and good women suffer under our unjust system. That's why it drives me crazy to see how often these threads degenerate into a battle of the sexes. People who should be on the same side fighting for a worthy cause are taunting each other instead.
It's the SYSTEM that's corrupt, people. Calling each other names or questioning the legitimacy of each other's motives only serves the interests of the judges, lawyers, and pressure groups that foisted this nightmare on us in the first place.
Let's set aside the bitterness and suspicion and work toward the common goal, justice.
I know, and I see there are lots worse cases than mine.
I always thought it was “interesting” that, a married couple is under no obligation by law to send their progeny to College. It’s their choice. However, if divorced, then anyone paying child support (typically male I suppose) is on the hook for a university education.
Alimony can be a touchy subject. I can see the necessity of it for some situations, but not the necessity to have it last forever.
If a young couple marries right out of high school, one goes on to collage or trade school and becomes the breadwinner while the other stays home to care for the home and children, I can see the need - until the stay at home can earn a living.
Too often alimony seems to be used as a fine - to punish one spouse.
A lot of women seem to be hit with child support too.
The local news periodically run a segment on “deadbeat parents” - not “deadbeat fathers.” Women’s pictures are right up there with the men’s.
I’m so sorry. I know things happen.
And now, today, things happen here. I am going to mediation today. I’m nervous. He’s playing the victim role to the hilt. He’s done horrible things for many years but now he’s the victim becjause i want out.
But I said I wanted out no matter what, so now, if things don’t turn out, or don’t turn out “fair” at least it will be one step closer to being free of him. And that’s worth just about anything.
I am not judging you. I hope that you get what is right in your case. All people who are involved in a divorce are hurt. I lost 2 children and my childhood home in a divorce in 1978. I paid child support for 15 years. I really have no relationship with them now and I have a 1 year old granddaughter that I have seen 2 times. There are so many things screwed up in the divorce industry. The average man has no chance of getting justice.
I raised my kids as near alone as one can do when the father is right in the house, but has NOTHING to do with them. He admits this. I raised them by myself. But now the kids are getting some attention for the first time in their lives from dad and they want it. He does it so he can pump them for info about me, but they only know how it feels to have dad actually talk to them.
And in one case, I’m out. And my grandbabies. I miss them so much. yesterday I called up there anyway and they sang Jingle Bells to me. Three times through. And Santa Claus is Coming to Town. I just listened and cried. 2 years old.
Well, i said i’d give up anything to do what i was going to do. and i have. For once i had a different priority. And boy am I paying for it.
What did I miss in this?
Not yet, but am working on it.
Unfortunately some things do not change and that’s so sad.
I can barely even respond.
There is one thing that never changes. and you know what that is. That’s all that doesn’t change. Give me some credit.
I can’t even say any more. It was way more awful than I thought it could be. I saw madness today.
I keep hearing that claimed, and I know in some cases of very wealthy men (real millionaires) it’s happened. But funny, in practice, I see that’s not true at all. So where is this supposedly happening?
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