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Some Date! (Highschool/College Scene: No Date, No Dance, Just Hanging Out and Hooking Up?)
Wall Street Journal ^ | November 1, 2007 | Jeff Zaslow

Posted on 11/17/2007 4:53:59 PM PST by Mrs. Don-o

Last month, a boy asked my 16-year-old daughter to his school's homecoming dance. She agreed to go, bought a new dress and made a hairdresser appointment.

The boy never bought tickets to the dance. Neither did his friends. They decided that attending homecoming wouldn't be cool, and instead planned to just dress up that night, go out for dinner and then hang out with their dates at someone's house.

My daughter was disappointed, as were her girlfriends. They would have loved to have been taken to the dance, to show off their dresses, to see and be seen.

At 6 p.m. on the night of the boycotted dance, about a dozen of these girls and their dates gathered in one boy's backyard so a mob of parents could photograph them. I found it dispiriting. My heart went out to those girls -- all dressed up with no place to go. Couldn't we, as parents, have demanded that the boys take our daughters to the dance? Why did we stand there, clicking our digital cameras, saying nothing?

I live in suburban Detroit, but this phenomenon is playing out elsewhere in the country, too -- a telling example of the indifference with which young people today view dating, chivalry and romance.

Studies, of course, show more young people skipping romantic relationships in favor of "hooking up." As teens socialize in packs, forgo one-on-one dating and trade sex nonchalantly, it is no stretch to find that boys are asking girls to homecoming and not bothering to take them there. But with so many young people ignoring once-sacrosanct dating rites, how can we respond?

(Excerpt) Read more at online.wsj.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: dating; hookingup; hookup; nofriendship; nofun
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To: Campion

“Rule Twelve: No amount of smiling or nodding will fix a positive pregnancy test.”

Rule 12a: But my shotgun, which I was cleaning when you came in, sure will...


61 posted on 11/17/2007 5:47:06 PM PST by piytar
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To: ErnBatavia
Ain't it the truth?!?

I went to my junior prom, didn't particularly enjoy it. Asked a girl to the prom senior year, she turned me down (she had strict parents and I think she wasn't allowed to go, period), so I skipped it. Went to church with my parents that night, actually. :-)

And the clique thing at reunions is universal. Many of the same people who were nasty in high school are still nasty 20 years later.

62 posted on 11/17/2007 5:48:10 PM PST by Campion
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To: AmericanInTokyo

Chivalry died because liberated women scared it to death. Men got tired of women getting in their face about holding the damn door open for them.


63 posted on 11/17/2007 5:50:01 PM PST by Secret Agent Man
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To: Mrs. Don-o
But why is it true? And how can I help my two teenage boys ---

If you want the cynical answer, I think considering a life of celibacy might be a good idea.

Good Lord, I think of my father and mother, growing up in the Depression, who had lots of friends who liked to sing, dance, play musical instruments, go to movies, ---oh, take walks, even. Knew how to be friends, how to date and how to court ---Knew how to have a good time---

This isn't the first time I've heard this said before. I think one of the big differences is that people were so poor during the depression that the only way they could survive was by depending on each other. People were far more socialized in general at that time, and for that reason. I've heard more than one person who lived through it remember it as the happiest days of their life even though they were dirt poor.
64 posted on 11/17/2007 5:50:57 PM PST by JamesP81 ("I am against "zero tolerance" policies. It is a crutch for idiots." --FReeper Tenacious 1)
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To: Campion
Rule Twelve: No amount of smiling or nodding will fix a positive pregnancy test.

Oops.

65 posted on 11/17/2007 5:53:42 PM PST by Jeff Gordon ("An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile hoping it will eat him last." Churchill)
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To: LongTimeMILurker

Met my brother-in-law’s latest squeeze three weeks ago. He has been married three times and has a twenty-something daughter. His girlfriend has been married twice. The girlfriend had a daughter with each of her previous spouses, and she had the younger of them, an 11 year old, with her. The 11 year old looked like she was trying to be a 18 year old, with beau coup make up and skimpy clothes that showed way too much skin, even for an 18 year old. My comment to my wife afterwards was that it was too damn bad that the girl’s mother wasn’t allowing the girl to have a childhood.


66 posted on 11/17/2007 5:57:15 PM PST by RightWingConspirator (Redefeat Communism by defeating Hitlary in 2008)
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To: JamesP81

Keep looking, and keep the faith. They’re out there.


67 posted on 11/17/2007 5:58:24 PM PST by Lizavetta ( Politicians: When they're speaking, they're lying - when they're not speaking, they're stealing.)
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To: Mrs. Don-o

One of the rules that scared off most of my daughters boyfriends was:

Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pot-bellied, balding, middle-aged, dim-witted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.


68 posted on 11/17/2007 6:00:26 PM PST by DownInFlames (,)
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To: exit82
I’ve have told them to marry a girl who is just like their mother, with her qualities.

I tell my daughters the same thing - to look for someone who treats them like their dad treats me

69 posted on 11/17/2007 6:01:15 PM PST by Mygirlsmom (Bill and Hill are perfectly clear on the meaning of "is" as long as it's used in the word SOCIALIST)
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To: Chickensoup
It is sad and true. My daughter wishes she lived in the 50s and 60s when parents taught their children how to treat the opposite sex well.

You know, the uncivilized portions of society have really ruined it for the rest of us...in spades. Most women are aggressive, unladylike, and unbearable to be around anymore. They berate you for even asking for a date (I guess that's too outmoded, I don't know). I don't even bother with that anymore, it's simply not worth the turmoil it usually causes.
70 posted on 11/17/2007 6:01:19 PM PST by JamesP81 ("I am against "zero tolerance" policies. It is a crutch for idiots." --FReeper Tenacious 1)
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To: lowbridge

“10 Rules For Dating My Daughter”

If you were to put those 10 Rules into writing chances are your daughter would never have a date...Would bet you won’t see her fiancee til two weeks before the wedding...


71 posted on 11/17/2007 6:19:21 PM PST by billmor
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To: Mrs. Don-o
But why is it true? And how can I help my two teenage boys ---

Teach them morals, and how to be polite and kind. Don't push them into becoming involved with girls, let it happen when they're ready. There's not much more that you can do.

Good Lord, I think of my father and mother, growing up in the Depression, who had lots of friends who liked to sing, dance, play musical instruments, go to movies, ---oh, take walks, even. Knew how to be friends, how to date and how to court ---Knew how to have a good time---

Yes, well ... our kids are growing up in a degraded, decadent culture. There are many influences causing that; most notably the garbage on your television set. Do you think that kids who grow up watching Sex in the City are going to know how to interact with the opposite sex in a wholesome or healthy way? Of course not.

Turn the TV off, or throw it away.

72 posted on 11/17/2007 6:20:05 PM PST by Campion
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To: Mygirlsmom
I tell my daughters the same thing - to look for someone who treats them like their dad treats me

Sadly that is what many of them are doing.

My mom once told me that at the top of my list of things I wanted in a husband I should put kind. She was right. Kindness is under rated as a desirable trait in either men or women but no relationship can survive without it.

73 posted on 11/17/2007 6:21:31 PM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear (A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes into it.)
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To: Mrs. Don-o
Jeffrey Zaslow, the author is a twit. He’s as big a part of the problem as the daughter’s “date”... or whatever the hell he was.
74 posted on 11/17/2007 6:22:55 PM PST by Brucifer (G. W. Bush "The dog ate my copy of the Constitution.")
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To: JamesP81

I don’t even bother with that anymore, it’s simply not worth the turmoil it usually causes.

You might want to watch the young woman you are intersted in for a while. Ask her for a coffee. Get to know her and she will be open to date.


75 posted on 11/17/2007 6:23:02 PM PST by Chickensoup (If it is not permitted, it is prohibited. Only the government can permit....)
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To: Age of Reason

I only hold doors open for real ladies.

How can you tell that about some poor woman with an armful of books walking behind you. I was taught young to hold the door for the next person. So are my sons and daughters. It is the modicum of politeness that helps society run above primitive.


76 posted on 11/17/2007 6:25:49 PM PST by Chickensoup (If it is not permitted, it is prohibited. Only the government can permit....)
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To: RightWingConspirator

Women may be growing up sexually at a faster rate, but they are not maturing for the challenges of life any faster than the men are. That was the point.


77 posted on 11/17/2007 6:27:19 PM PST by LongTimeMILurker
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear

A friend of mine once told me that the rule of thumb is to marry someone nicer than you are.


78 posted on 11/17/2007 6:29:18 PM PST by Chickensoup (If it is not permitted, it is prohibited. Only the government can permit....)
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To: Age of Reason
I only hold doors open for real ladies.

I usually only hold the door for old people, handicapped people, and little children. I rarely hold the door for really attractive women, because they already think they're so g#$damn special and I don't want to reinforce their narcissism.

79 posted on 11/17/2007 6:34:43 PM PST by lesser_satan (READ MY LIPS: NO NEW RINOS | FRED THOMPSON/ DUNCAN HUNTER '08)
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To: Mrs. Don-o

Couldn’t say. My husband was going to take our younger girls (9 and 7) to a Girl Scouts dance this evening, but the girls have poison ivy and look like they’re in the late stages of radiation sickness.

Darn this Global Warming!


80 posted on 11/17/2007 6:40:40 PM PST by Tax-chick (Every committee wants to take over the world.)
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