LIB RANDI'S SMASH-HIT TALE OF WOE

NY Post Page 6 ^ | October 19, 2007 | BILL SANDERSON

[theFIRMbss]

>I’ve hit the cement after a few hours in an Irish pub and then tried walking out

------------------------------------------------------------

I woke up in a Soho doorway
A policeman knew my name
He said "You can go sleep at home tonight
If you can get up and walk away"

I staggered back to the underground
And the breeze blew back my hair
I remember throwin' punches around
And preachin' from my chair

Who are you?
I really wanna know
Tell me, who are you?
I really wanna know

I took the tube back out of town
Back to the Rollin' Pin
I felt a little like a dying clown
With a streak of Rin Tin Tin

I stretched back and I hiccupped
And looked back on my busy day
Eleven hours in the Tin Pan
God, there's got to be another way

Who are you?
I really wanna know
Tell me, who are you?
I really wanna know

I know there's a place you walked
Where love falls from the trees
My heart is like a broken cup
I only feel right on my knees

I spit out like a sewer hole
Yet still recieve your kiss
How can I measure up to anyone now
After such a love as this?

Who are you?
I really wanna know
Tell me, who are you?
I really wanna know

Who are you?
I really wanna know
Tell me, who are you?
I really wanna know

[Boston Blackie]

A few years ago she was drunk at a holiday party and urinated on the host's Christmas tree (in the host's living room). She is a complete slob.

She was just expressing her feelings about Christmas.

[jwalsh07]

Crap happens when you pass out drunk and the only thing between you and terminal velocity is a concrete sidewalk.

[Holicheese]

I hope for the love of God that she would have hit on Portia and got decked by Ellen.

[reagan_fanatic]

What's the Tooth Fairy's going rate for teeth nowadays?

Maybe Randi did it to supplement her income - She does work at Err America, after all...

[PissAndVinegar]

[WilliamofCarmichael]

Rhodes told listeners. "I went out to smoke a cigarette, and the next thing I knew I was down on the cement, face down, bleeding."

Randi Rhodes walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

[COUNTrecount]

[Red in Blue PA]

Re: “I don’t know if someone hit me from behind, or if I fainted because I hadn’t eaten all day,” Rhodes said.

What a crock! One would know if they were hit from behind!

[COUNTrecount]

Fall-Down Drunk

A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face.

“Maybe all I need is some fresh air,” thought the man as he crawled outside.

He tried to stand up again, but fell face first into the mud.

“Screw it,” he thought. “I’ll just crawl home.”

The next morning, his wife found him on the doorstep asleep.

“You went out drinking last night, didn’t you?” she said.

“Uh, yes,” he said sheepishly. “How did you know?”

“You left your wheelchair at the bar again.”

[1rudeboy]

"I went out to smoke a cigarette, and the next thing I knew I was down on the cement, face down, bleeding."

[COBOL2Java]

"I was watching football in an Irish pub," Rhodes told listeners. "I went out to smoke a cigarette, and the next thing I knew I was down on the cement, face down, bleeding."

"A smoker??? On my streets??? Get her!!

[Night Hides Not]

C’mon Randi. Irish pub, football game, hadn’t eaten all day, ...... hmmm I wonder if maybe a little Guinness was in there somewhere?

It would take a lot of Guinness...it has about the same alcohol content as Coors Light. I can normally drink two large schooners before I start feeling any effects. Plus, I've never had a hangover from Guinness.

I heard Randi's libation of choice were multiple Bloody Marys.

[dirtboy]

Hadn’t eaten all day, drinking alcoholic beverages, went outside and lit a cigarette, having stood up from long hours of sitting and suddenly the brain has a loss of blood pressure, low glucose and oxygen depletion all at once........

A cousin of mine is one of three sisters. She was getting married and the two sisters were maid of honor and one of the bridesmaids. Three minutes into the ceremony, the maid of honor passed out cold. Five minutes later, the other sister fainted as well. Both hadn't eaten all day and had champaign during the limo ride over.

We were all waiting for the organist to break into Another One Bites the Dust.

[peggybac]

“”I don’t know if someone hit me from behind, or if I fainted because I hadn’t eaten all day,” Rhodes said. “

More like, I don’t know if someone hit me from behind, or if I fainted because I had been drinking all day.

[peggybac]

OMG THAT IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY!!!!!

[Safetgiver]

I thought you fell backwards...die, pass out, whatever, the human body always falls forward. Only physical force makes an unconsious person go on his back.

[bmwcyle]

A drunk smoker.

[New Perspective]

Ms Rhodes, meet the sidewalk.

Sidewalk, meet Ms Rhode's future Billy Bob Teeth.

[MrB]

"A smoker??? On my streets??? Get her!!"

Oh, wait, she's "one of us"? Move along, nothing to see here.