“My own belief is that if the couple was approaching their difficulty in conceiving in the right spirit of parenthood, they would adopt natural-born children who needed a good home; of which there is no shortage in the world.”
I don’t agree that this “Grandpa Donor” is a good idea...
However, I always wonder about statements like this...
I don’t know if you all know very much about adoption..so PLEASE forgive me if I am irritating here...
It’s just that I know SEVERAL couples who couldn’t have children of their own and have gone the route of adoption..
It is NOT easy..and we always HEAR of how many children in the world need a home.
Well..I am telling you...getting those children from their orphanage..or foster home..or off the streets is HUGELY expensive (like THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of dollars)...and can TAKE YEARS to accomplish.
YEARS!
There are certainly still domestic adoptions here in the US.
But, they are largely OPEN adoptions meaning that the bio parent or parents can have various kinds of contact with the adopted child.
Many adoptive parents participate in this against their opinion of what is right for the child because it is the only way for them to GET a baby...
International adoptions would then, seem like the best route to go...the waiting list for China is now several years....many Countries have CLOSED their boarders to adoptions...or made is so difficult and expensive that it is prohibitive.
I have a relative who went to Khazakstan 7 years ago and brought home a 10 month old girl and a 2.5 year old boy...
They spent over 32 THOUSAND DOLLARS to adopt these 2 ORPHANS..
And one of the children was “not as expensive” because he had some medical issues.
Now, these same parents are fostering 2 children.
They think that they will be able to adopt the young girl who has been with them since birth (she is now 2.5)..
They are ABOUT TO LOSE THEIR BOY though..who is the FULL SIBLING of the young girl.
They have had him since he was 3 DAYS old..and he is now almost 1.5....
They have a lawyer of course...but it is just insane...
INSANE...
Anyway...I just wanted to bring that up...it really isn’t that I agree with the above scenario...
I just think that saying “there are a zillion children in the world who need adopting..why don’t they go get one of them”....is a statement based more on how things “used to be”...
Also, in case anyone would think that these are isolated incidents which don’t represent the difficulties in today’s world of domestic and international adoption..I have many, MANY more stories I could share..
They are so sad...
re: your relative — it is just not good to separate children from the only parents they have known — I’ll pray that they get to keep this child. Makes NO sense to me.
I hope your relative’s situation works out for the best.
I have relatives who’ve adopted overseas, too. One told me he and his wife didn’t even try to adopt an American baby because an adoption here would have been so difficult. But then, years later, I met a European couple who easily adopted an American baby as an infant. I checked further — it turns out, while Americans are going overseas to adopt infants, Europeans and Canadians come here to adopt infants.