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Men Can Suffer a Myriad of Grief Issues Following a Partner's Abortion
Life News ^ | 8/30/07 | Steven Ertelt

Posted on 08/30/2007 4:16:39 PM PDT by wagglebee

Washington, DC (LifeNews.com) -- Abortion is frequently considered a woman's issue and one where men should have little no role in the decision and likely have little or no ill-effects afterwards. However, one man who regularly counsels men who have been involved in an abortion says that claim is unfounded.

Kevin Burke is the associate director of Rachel's Vineyard Ministries, a group that reaches out to those adversely affected by an abortion to provide them hope and healing.

In an interview with Zenit, Burke says men suffer from a myriad of problems following a partner's abortion -- especially one in which they lent their support or persuaded their partner to have.

"We have all heard the exhausted phrase repeated over the years that 'abortion is a private personal decision between a woman, her health care provider and her God,'" Burke explained. "Men were seen to be peripheral figures in the process, detached and unaffected by the woman's 'choice.'"

"The reality is that men are involved in 95% of all abortion decisions, and they are profoundly impacted by their participation in the abortion of their child," Burke added.

"In our work as counseling professionals, my wife Theresa and I have worked with many individuals and couples who came to us for healing after abortion," he told Zenit. "In the last eight years we have seen a steady increase in men who attended our Rachel's Vineyard Retreats seeking healing."

"Similar to women, when men experience deep healing of post abortion pain, they are freed from the shame and guilt that feeds silence and isolation," he said. "There is a willingness to share their experience with others because they finally recognize that their feelings are normal, they are not alone."

Burke is the co-editor of a new book, "Redeeming a Father's Heart," that he helped author along with David Wemhoff and Marvin Stockwell about helping heal men's hearts after an abortion.

But he isn't alone in thinking that men face mental health problems after an abortion.
Dr. Wayne Brauning, the founder of Men's Abortion ReCovery, knows many men who feel the pain of an abortion that occurred during their relationship with a woman.

"Men have told me that they knew they were guilty of getting the woman pregnant, of pressuring her to get an abortion, or of not coming to the rescue of the child," Brauning writes.

"Participating in an abortion always produces real guilt before God in the person who is responsible for the decision to take the life of the child," he explains.

Dr. Brauning tells men who have been a party to an abortion to actively grieve and express the pain and emotional trauma related to it

"Don't hold back. The reason for this sorrow is genuine and profound," he said.

Related web sites:
Rachel's Vineyard - http://www.rachelsvineyard.org



TOPICS: Culture/Society; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: abortion; ertelt; fatherhood; grief; moralabsolutes; prolife; rachelsvineyard
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The abortionists kill over 3500 infants a day, they certainly don't care what it does to the men involved.
1 posted on 08/30/2007 4:16:43 PM PDT by wagglebee
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To: cgk; Coleus; cpforlife.org; narses; Mr. Silverback; 8mmMauser

Pro-Life Ping


2 posted on 08/30/2007 4:17:23 PM PDT by wagglebee ("A political party cannot be all things to all people." -- Ronald Reagan, 3/1/75)
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To: 230FMJ; 49th; 50mm; 69ConvertibleFirebird; Aleighanne; Alexander Rubin; An American In Dairyland; ..
Moral Absolutes Ping!

Freepmail wagglebee or little jeremiah to subscribe or unsubscribe from the moral absolutes ping list.

FreeRepublic moral absolutes keyword search
[ Add keyword moral absolutes to flag FR articles to this ping list ]


3 posted on 08/30/2007 4:17:51 PM PDT by wagglebee ("A political party cannot be all things to all people." -- Ronald Reagan, 3/1/75)
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Pro-life bump.


4 posted on 08/30/2007 4:21:04 PM PDT by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: wagglebee
(this) Murder is murder and should be punishable.

credit againsthillary

5 posted on 08/30/2007 4:26:39 PM PDT by knarf (I say things that are true ... I have no proof ... but they're true.)
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To: wagglebee

“Men Can Suffer a Myriad of Grief Issues Following a Partner’s Abortion”

Sadly, this sort of information was NOT discussed in my fairly fundamentalist
Church of Christ when I was a youth...at the time Rove v. Wade was taking
full grip of the country.


6 posted on 08/30/2007 4:33:07 PM PDT by VOA
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To: VOA

It’s only logical. If an infant dies, the father grieves every bit as much as the mother — this is no different.


7 posted on 08/30/2007 4:35:33 PM PDT by wagglebee ("A political party cannot be all things to all people." -- Ronald Reagan, 3/1/75)
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To: wagglebee
Of course not, it’s only “women’s health” that matters here.

Which is to say, that liberal women get pissed off when they get inconvenienced, even if caused by their own actions, and this isn’t healthy for them.

8 posted on 08/30/2007 4:36:24 PM PDT by vetsvette (Bring Him Back)
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To: vetsvette

They don’t give a damn about the women either, I’ve talked to dozens of women who had abortions and were still overcome with guilt decades later.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1682147/posts


9 posted on 08/30/2007 4:39:36 PM PDT by wagglebee ("A political party cannot be all things to all people." -- Ronald Reagan, 3/1/75)
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To: wagglebee
And men can keep that grief inside for many years before it comes out and becomes evident to another.

I know men that counselled their partners to have abortions when they were in their mid to late 20s that are still dealing with it in their late 40s.

10 posted on 08/30/2007 4:40:32 PM PDT by Just another Joe (Warning: FReeping can be addictive and helpful to your mental health)
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To: Just another Joe

I’ve seen that too.


11 posted on 08/30/2007 4:41:12 PM PDT by wagglebee ("A political party cannot be all things to all people." -- Ronald Reagan, 3/1/75)
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To: Just another Joe

How can a man, or woman REALLY ever suppress their murder of their unborn baby? It has to come out eventually...

Ed


12 posted on 08/30/2007 4:48:35 PM PDT by Sir_Ed
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To: wagglebee; trisham; knarf; VOA; vetsvette; Just another Joe; jpsb; Theodore R.; little jeremiah
I had a friend in college who quite literally went insane for a time because his girlfriend murdered his child that she was carrying. She committed the abortion against his advise and wishes.(And, I would say, his rights, although I suppose all pertinent state laws would differ with me on that.) Happens all the time.
13 posted on 08/30/2007 4:54:38 PM PDT by ProCivitas (Duncan Hunter '08: Pro-Family + Fair Trade = Pro-America)
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To: wagglebee
“They don’t give a damn about the women either”

Oh, I agree, American leftists support a myriad of single issue groups, not because they care about the issue or the people involved, but as a means to an end — their personal power.

Leftists support African-Americans and their causes, but they’re really, and obviously racists.

They support transsexuals, but secretly, and not so secretly, laugh at and deride them. As evidence, they frequently suggest that Ann Coulter is a transsexual, indicating that they believe that to be shameful.

And, on and on. Voters that support these opportunistic and disingenuous leftist politicians are amazing in their ignorance and naivete.

14 posted on 08/30/2007 4:58:48 PM PDT by vetsvette (Bring Him Back)
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To: wagglebee

bookmark


15 posted on 08/30/2007 5:45:04 PM PDT by GOP Poet
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To: wagglebee

I can vouch for this-I’ve lived with it for going on 25 years now.


16 posted on 08/30/2007 7:59:59 PM PDT by snuffy smiff
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To: wagglebee
The ploy from PP has been the lie that it is only a woman's issue. Society bought into it.

I am so thankful the truth is coming out that it hurts men as well. I heard a powerful speech last fall by a father who brought his daughter in for an abortion. It was heart-wrenching!! It took him 20 years to come to terms with it, and it was his granddaughter's phone call on his birthday that brought it all to a head, and started the healing process.

17 posted on 08/30/2007 8:38:04 PM PDT by MountainFlower (There but by the grace of God go I.)
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To: snuffy smiff
I can vouch for this-I’ve lived with it for going on 25 years now.

May the peace of the Lord's love and forgiveness ease what is obviously a sincere sorrow.

18 posted on 08/30/2007 9:09:03 PM PDT by Ronaldus Magnus
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To: Ronaldus Magnus

Thank you.

FWIW, I did not find out until afterward that my child had been murdered. Doesn’t make it any easier.
The mother seemed not to be bothered and was suprised by my reaction. I cut off all contact shortly thereafter.

Maybe God can forgive her. I certainly can’t.


19 posted on 08/31/2007 7:41:58 PM PDT by snuffy smiff
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To: wagglebee

I rememeber a rachel Vineyrads Counselor say that 40% of their retreatants are Men.!

I also have personally seen.. woman 18-20 years after an abortion lose their family Friends and became raging substance abusers and virtually homeless becse their Daughters ages triggered their remorse...

Women had the abortion before marriage and husband and Kids are Punished... really sad..


20 posted on 08/31/2007 8:28:12 PM PDT by philly-d-kidder (137 Yesterday in Kuwait and Arizona Complains...we had 110 @ Easter!)
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