Posted on 08/20/2007 7:41:24 AM PDT by Between the Lines
OPINION, August 20 /Christian Newswire/ -- "Do you know the fine for using someone else's handicapped parking permit is $300?" "That parking spot is saved for the disabled! You should be ashamed of yourself!" Nearly everyone with an invisible illness has been told, "You don't look disabled to me!" One of my friends replied, "Well, you don't look stupid to me." I just bite my lip to try to prevent the tears from forming, broken-hearted that I appear to be deceptive, when I would do anything to give back this parking perk that I use on a rare occasion.
As I circle the parking lot a fourth time on this day I hope for a spot to open up within two-hundred yards of the store, but there is nothing remotely close at this bustling superstore where I need to buy my prescriptions and milk for my toddler. My rheumatoid arthritis is flaring badly, causing extra fluid in my knees to dislocate pieces of loose bones. Every step is painful and unpredictable.
Finally I sigh in resignation and pull into the farthest "blue parking spot." I reach for the placard--the one that has a bold white symbol of a wheelchair--and no, I don't have a wheelchair--yet. So after fifteen years of having this "privilege" at my disposal I still warily scan the area before reluctantly dangling the placard from the rear view mirror. Is there anyone watching, wondering, or waiting, ready to confront me?
I've had scathing notes left on my windshield and many people, empowered by television exposés, have approached me with their opinions. Judgmental expressions and whispers sting just as much. My husband and I adopted a baby and when I would get my child of the car I would avoid eye contact with onlookers because I could hear their whispers of, "She's not disabled! Or--if she is--she has no right to have a child!"
Nearly 1 in 2 Americans (133 million) live with a chronic illness. It could be diabetes, cancer, cystic fibrosis, fibromyalgia or even chronic back pain. Many illnesses make walking long distances impossible because of limited lung capacity, physical pain, or unpredictable numbness in the legs. According to statistics provided by the U.S. Census Bureau, about 96% of these illnesses are invisible. There is no sign of the illness existing, nor the use of an assistive device like a cane or a wheelchair.
I began National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week in 2002, which is held this year Sept 10-16, 2007, after witnessing thousands of people who had frustrations, fears, loneliness, and bitterness, about feeling invalidated. One's illness, age, diagnosis, or level of disease degeneration, doesn't change the emotional pain.
Strangers and loved ones alike doubt the severity of our illness or even the diagnosis. We've heard, "You look so good! You must be feeling better." But we don't feel better. We just bought some fake tan in a bottle and pasted on a smile.
National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week is a time to acknowledge that invisible illness is more prevalent than we'd imagine and everyone--both those who are healthy and ill--can make a difference by encouraging someone with an invisible illness, rather than tearing someone down.
Are those parking spots painted blue because they give so many people the blues? That small area of square footage is a breeding ground for many frustrations as we are forced to defend our illness and character to total strangers. I'd gladly trade in my placard indefinitely for just a week of having my old body back when I could run, sit on the floor, or even hold a fork without tendons popping out of place.
I anticipate the day when a nationally designated system is formed. Texas law states that blue placards are for those who use assistive devices; red permits are for people with a "condition that impairs mobility." In other states, red symbolizes six months of disability and blue is permanent. It's confusing! And for one with invisible illness, the wheelchair symbol discredits both our physical pain and--in the eyes of others--our reputation. Until then, we rely on Invisible Illness Week bumper stickers.
The next time you see a healthy looking man loading groceries into his car--parked in the "blue spot"--don't glare. Stop and offer to help him, or just smile nicely, giving him the benefit of the doubt. Seventy percent of suicides have uncontrollable physical pain as a factor. Your smile may save his life. At the least, it will astonish him, perhaps providing him with genuine encouragement he hasn't felt for months.
Great; that sounds like what the stickers should be for. Now, did you use the sticker (1) only when you had your daughter along and needed the spot so she could get in and out (or you could get her in and out), or (2) as a 'free parking' pass even when you didn't have your daughter along?
You are welcome to fume away in ignorance.
Speaking of fuming away in ignorance, I am curious if you have one bit of factual information about my condition, whether or not it legitimately warrants a handicapped sticker, and whether or not I'm complaining about how those who abuse the system hurt those who need it to function at all as opposed to having a “convenience”?
Hmm?
“Thank God for the handicapped, without them I would never be able to find a parking space.” - Gallagher
It is amazing how quickly it can change, isn't it? My story is much the same. It is a caution to others on this thread who are not dealing with such a thing.
But what bothers me the most is the lack of compassion that has shown up here lately on numerous topics.
I don't think it has shown up lately- I think that you are now more keen to it than you once were. I am ashamed to admit that I was of the same opinion before I was struck down.
Feel free to PM me if you need support- I know what it is like to be having a bad day. -Bruce
You remind me of the wheelchair-bound doofus who held up the new bus system of an entire town because the buses did not have access to her liking, even after they offered her instant limousine service any time she needed to go anywhere day or night... while they ordered a special bus.
Well, no.
In addition to being rich and handicapped, do you also happen to be missing the humor gene?
She's "hearing" anonymous whispers. Not just once, she speaks as though it happens every time she gets her kid out of the car. A vivid narcissist imagination and a victim hood attitude could make for some interesting translations of something as simple as one guy quietly telling another that his zipper is down. She sounds paranoid to me.
My husband and I adopted a baby and when I would get my child of the car I would avoid eye contact with onlookers because I could hear their whispers of, "She's not disabled! Or--if she is--she has no right to have a child!"
“Isn’t the reaction on this thread against handicapped people, and the ability of some FReepers to make snap medical judgements without having a medical degree, simply amazing?”
I had no idea some Freepers were so talented. Able to diagnose and determine mobility simply by reading a column or looking at someone. Do you have to, like, go to school to learn that?
Good for your grandmother. Apparently, her body was able to heal well.
But how about backing off of these older men? Some of these guys’ bodies has taken a life-time of beating within a few years in places like ‘Nam. My nephew in Iraq is already dealing with knee pain, and he’s only 21. Makes me sick to my stomach thinking how much he’s going to hurt later on.
It increases the otherwise poor probability of their finding the entrance when arriving, and finding their car when leaving.
< }B^)
“You have a handicap? So do I. Shut up and live with it.”
What thread are you reading? Whining? You’ve got people on this thread who are making medical judgements.
“So should 1 in 2 Americans have handicapped parking stickers?”
Did she say that? I didn’t see it. I live with two chronic illnesses, neither of which you could see by looking at me, and neither of which limits my ability to walk from a regular space, so I don’t have and wouldn’t want a tag. I thank God I don’t have something like RA. But I’m still part of that 133 million.
Irony? You’re the one making cause and effect statments...and now you’re dragging your wife into this argument? Wow.
It exists, it's just as popular as President Bush.
“What thread are you reading? Whining?”
This one. The author, and some of the posters, are whining about people who annoy them over handicap parking spaces.
“Oh woe is me! Somebody gave me a dirty look because I parked in a handicap spot and didn’t look crippled enough. You don’t understand the horrible pain I’m in! Waaaaaahhhh Waaaaaaahhhh Waaaaahhhh!”
Quit your whining; park in the damned spaces. There are lots and lots of them, sitting there empty all day, every day.
I guess ‘compassionate conservatism’ really doesn’t exist.”
Nope, without exception my encounters with parking idiots have been with younger liberals with their know-it-all socialist attitudes. They think they have a right to accost me because of their socialist beliefs. They honestly believe that they have some right in my affairs. I bluntly tell them otherwise and call 9/11. Keeping them engaged until the cops get there is easy. Their arrogance demands that they never admit they are wrong.
Liberals are not at all tolerant of anyone who has a disability or who disagrees with them. They just see the disabled as another group that they can control and somehow believe they have the right to speak for us. The higher end tax bills of the conservatives pay the bills for the disabled and the arrogant liberals just pull the political strings and whine using the issue as a way to extort more taxes from the wealthy.
About the only place the liberals have in the disabled situation is one of mouth. They don’t pay the bills, they don’t treat these folks at a reduced price or for free. They don’t even volunteer their time to give them a ride when they need it. They just scream, yell, and call others names.
I’ve watched it go down for years. They demand more money for these populations just as long as it isn’t their money. They scream for more support projects and personal care but will not invest their own time to help.
Xena, it sounds like you're braggin'.
< }B^)
inre#245
I must be today. happens when the pain flares up.
When we’d been living together a couple months, I woke up one morning to find him not in the bed.
I went downstairs, and he was sleeping on the couch. I asked him why.
It seemed that in the middle of the night, I flung my arm off my torso straight out to the side, and hit him in the nose so hard he thought I’d broken it.
Did she say that? I didn't see it.
No, she didn't say that. She said she had a chronic condition (“My rheumatoid arthritis is flaring badly, causing extra fluid in my knees to dislocate pieces of loose bones. Every step is painful and unpredictable.”). I inferred that this chronic condition was why she had the handicapped sticker (“So after fifteen years of having this “privilege” at my disposal I still warily scan the area before reluctantly dangling the placard from the rear view mirror.”). She then states the statistic “Nearly 1 in 2 Americans (133 million) live with a chronic illness.”.
Since she seems to claim for herself that a chronic condition is justification for a handicap parking sticker, I was curious if the argument carried for the other suffers of chronic conditions. If she's not claiming this, then why even mention the number of persons with chronic conditions?
Maybe her intention is that only severe chronic conditions are a legitimate justification for a handicapped parking sticker. It's not clear to me from my reading of the article; hence my question.
And your point is? People say things like this all the time. I couldn't believe some of the stuff I heard when I was out somewhere with my SIL who had blown up like a baloon due to medication she was on.
Not just once, she speaks as though it happens every time she gets her kid out of the car.
I didn't read it as though she was claiming it happened every time, just that she was bracing herself for it every time. Believe me, I braced myself for the comments any time I went out with my SIL.
She sounds paranoid to me.
Then you've been very blessed never to have endured the kinds of things she and my SIL endured.
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