Gail Collins of the Times Finds Iowans Ineffably Droll

NewsBusters ^ | Mark Finkelstein

[governsleastgovernsbest]

Actual op-ed column, or parody of Upper West Side liberal mockery of Middle America? You be the judge of this p.p.v. opus today by Gail Collins, New York Times columnist turned Editorial Page Editor now returned to her column-writing roots. We'll begin with the title, Republicans in the Straw, and proceed to these excerpts:

• Today 40,000 Republicans are expected to make a pilgrimage to a large tent in Ames, Iowa, where they will eat an enormous amount of free food and vote for a presidential candidate. Mitt Romney is going to serve barbecue, and one of his sons has just visited all 99 counties. I don’t think we need say more.
• Romney moves around with so many photogenic sons, daughters-in-law and grandchildren that they look like one of those singing families that were so popular in the ’70s.
• The Iowa State Fair is not actually about politics so much as about finding new things to deep-fry.
• the line of people waiting to see Harry Potter carved in butter snaked around the Agriculture Building. Since the statue itself is behind glass for climate-control reasons, the scene strongly resembled the viewing of the Pietà in the Vatican.
• the traditional Butter Cow which has to be there whether it really fits the theme or not. This was all the work of Sarah Doyle Pratt, a 30-year-old elementary school teacher, who apprenticed under the legendary Norma “Duffy” Lyon, creator of the never-to-be-forgotten all-butter Last Supper.
• Truly, if you are into art forms based on dairy products, you have to go to Iowa.
• Personally, I’m only in Iowa for the butter sculpture, and I’d be happy to be diverted if, say, Arkansas challenged its voters to pile up watermelons for their favorite Republican, or Kansas did a Candidate Winnowing. Winners will be judged on originality and public participation.
• Extra points for carving things out of local produce.

I don't know if Collins is an aficionado of the Hamptons, Nantucket or perhaps Martha's Vineyard. But whatever the venue, it's not hard to imagine the Times columnist regaling her sophisticated friends with tales of those amusing bumpkins of the heartland.

Contact Mark at mark@gunhill.net

[governsleastgovernsbest]

MSM elitism ping to Today show list.

[neodad]

Romney moves around with so many photogenic sons, daughters-in-law and grandchildren that they look like one of those singing families that were so popular in the ’70s.

Making fun of the Osmonds? That's kind of low. Making fun of Mormons, too.

[nothingnew]

I don't know if Collins is an aficionado of the Hamptons, Nantucket or perhaps Martha's Vineyard.

My guess is she is an aficionado of scrimshaw and cranberries.......just a guess.

FMCDH(BITS)

[NormsRevenge]

what exactly does she brush with? Pall Malls?

[Califreak]

I thought him and his family were lovely.

[greyfoxx39]

What about the von Trapps...they were first.

[Melinda]

I’m sure she’d much rather see an art form sculpted from —— as some Manhattanites prefer.

[EricT.]

Good googly moogly! That’s one ugly libsquaw.

[CaliGirlGodHelpMe]

I observe that despite her educated sophistication, wealth and high-powered position, tragically, she has not found the time to get the stains removed from her teeth before her photo is taken. Too busy finding ways to despise her fellow man, I guess.

[Lewite]

Yep, nothing uglier than a woman who sucks six or seven packs of Virginia Slims a day. I wonder how ugly her family is? Her jealousy really shows.

[wideawake]

Kudos to Gail Collins on being able to make snottily condescending remarks about Mormons, Catholics and dairy farmers all within one column.

I'm sure the army of cats who share her suburban Connecticut colonial with her are very proud.

[johnny7]

She should start her articles with:

“Be it known... I despise Republicans!”

[WorkingClassFilth]

Can you have little green teeth and still be a true member of the elite? Maybe she’s just a novitiate and waiting to get on the official list.

[governsleastgovernsbest]

“Can you have little green teeth and still be a true member of the elite?”

You raise an important epistemological question. Could it be that this is Collins way of “going green”?

[Mr_Moonlight]

they will eat an enormous amount of free food

Why would a socialist have a problem with people eating 'free food'? After all, doesn't socialist dogma declare that sustenance is a fundamental human right and that foodstuff should be free? If anything, Gail should be applauding the Iowa Repubs on this rather than mocking them.

/slight sarcasm off

[CheyennePress]

>>>Why would a socialist have a problem with people eating ‘free food’?<<<

The state doesn’t get to collect additional taxes on free items. ;)

[WorkingClassFilth]

Could it be that this is Collins way of “going green”?

Good question. Several other possibilities come to mind, too. It is said that Chairman Mao never brushed his teeth due to his peasant sensibilities of hygiene so she might be tipping her hat to one of her icons. It should be remembered, too, that daily showers and deodorant are considered by many around the world to be a peculiarly American affliction - especially true of the socialist rabble in Europe. It goes without saying that an aromatic majority of the homegrown American Left traditionally despises good hygiene as an affectation of the bourgeoisie middle classes. Finally, it's possible that she's just the illegitimate daughter of Jack Palance (Sorry, Jack, but I have to call 'em as I see 'em. RIP.)

[Ouderkirk]

Must be all the Starbucks coffee she drinks.

THOSE ARE DOME DAMNED YELLOW TEETH...from the looks of her she’s more of a hick than the people who ACTUALLY live in Iowa.

[Rudder]

I don't know if Collins is an aficionado of the Hamptons...

Having lived in the Hamptons, and I still visit there annually, I can say our favorite evening's entertainment is drinking beer and eating clams on the shell from a bushel burlap bag. Where I live in Ohio we eat grilled beer-can chicken and drink the same brand of beer.

Droll is a state of mind.