Posted on 08/09/2007 1:53:46 AM PDT by jsh3180
DALLAS -- There have been more than a few athletes accused of doping over the years - but the competitors at the "Texas Redneck Games" might just be dopes.
These competitors forgo the shotput for the "Mattress Chuck" - where teams of two slam a 12-pack of beer, get in a pickup truck and start driving, then climb into the bed and throw the mattress as far as possible. And if you aren't planning on heading to Beijing for the next Olympic Games, there's always the ugly "butt-crack contest."
By the time the latest event ended Sunday, more than 54 arrests and citations had been issued on charges ranging from public intoxication to speeding, according to the Henderson County Sheriff's Department. Officials are considering charges against the organizer and landowners where the event was held.
"I'm an old fuddy duddy and all that, but you got a vehicle, you got alcohol, and you got illegal dumping, and you're making a contest out of that?" said Lt. Pat McWilliams, public information officer for the sheriff's department. "We are very fortunate that we didn't have a fatality."
For years, Bobby Williams has awakened to the roaring engines of all-terrain vehicles, midnight fireworks shows and thousands of drunken revelers who every so often gather across the narrow county road from his property at events like the "Texas Redneck Games" and the "Texas Redneck Muddy Gras."
"We're just a nice, calm community and nobody can get any rest, nobody can get any sleep," said the 76-year-old, who had hoped his 100-acre ranch would be a scene of post-retirement tranquility.
Modeled after similar games that have been going in Georgia for more than a decade, the four-day "Redneck Games" took place about 70 miles southeast of Dallas and included an estimated 6,000 people and live music.
McWilliams said the organizer, Oscar Still, could face a misdemeanor charge for not having a permit - which is required for any gathering of more than 2,500 people. Telephone messages left with Still weren't immediately returned Wednesday.
The misdemeanor charge carries a fine of $1,000 and 90 days in county jail.
He said it was less clear if there was any wrongdoing by Garland Pool, the owner of the 3,000-acre ATV park where the events were held.
Pool, who lives about 5 miles from the ATV ranch, said he was aware of neighbor complaints but hadn't heard anything from the sheriff's department.
"Maybe the neighbors don't particularly like the traffic," he said, "but it seems like most of the businesses in town had a lot of success."
hold mah beer and watch chess
The guy lives on a hundred acre ranch and is bothered?
If they are on his property, he has a right to complain, otherwise, get some earplugs. My AC drowns out most of the noice on 4th of July. Don’t they have AC down there?
Sorry, I think this is pretty funny.
That there's your problem, right there.
Folks buy their rinky-dinky little McRanches and expect life to be just like the suburbs, except with a slightly larger lawn. If you are going to go out and do the gentleman farmer thing for retirement, you better be prepared for the possibility that your neighbors might not be gentlemen.
How much you wanna bet this thing has been going on for a generation, and Mr. McRancher has been there for less then a year.
STARTER TOSS: This event will be for men only and will consist of the shot put of a car starter for distance. Maximum entries: 10 contestants.
MUDPIT BELLY BUSTER: This event will be held at the stage and you will be required to stand on the edge of the mudpit, hold your arms straight out, and fall forward into the mudpit to give it your best belly bust. You will be allowed to wear goggles and earplugs. Judging of this event will be based on the crowd’s applause by using a sound level meter. Maximum entries: 10 contestants (men or women)
BUTT-CRACK CONTEST: The uglier your butt-crack, the better chance you have of winning. This is not a mooning event and we will only allow low hanging pants to be worn. The contestants will be divided into men and women. Judging of this event will be based on the crowd’s applause by using a sound level meter. Maximum entries: 10 contestants for men and 10 contestants for women.
SPAM EATING CONTEST: This event will be for men and women combined and will be how much SPAM you can eat in a ten minute time period. You will be allowed to bring your favorite beverage to help wash down your favorite treat! Additional points will be added by how many whole fresh jalepeno peppers you eat while consuming your SPAM. We will be providing the SPAM and the jalepeno peppers, you just need to provide a big appetite, an empty stomach, and your beverage of choice. Maximum entries: 10 contestants (men or women)
REDNECK “FEAR FACTOR” TEXAS STYLE: This event will be for men and women and if you have a weak stomach, you don’t want to enter this! In this event you will be bobbing in a tub filled with watered down tomato paste for items of our choice. We will announce these items when the contest starts. Each item will be worth a certain number of points and the person to accumulate the most points within a two minute time period will be the winner. You will be able to use goggles and earplugs if you prefer. This will be a contest for genuine REDNECKS! Maximum entries: 10 contestants
BEST REDNECK ATV: Everybody has seen these ATV’s running around trails before, so if you own one or would like to create one, bring it on out and enter it in the contest. Unlimited entries for this event. You must take this ATV with you when you leave!!!!
BEST REDNECK VEHICLE: Everybody has seen these pickups or cars running around town before, so if you own one or would like to create one, bring it on out and enter it in the contest. Unlimited entries for this event. You must take this vehicle with you when you leave!!!!
MATTRESS CHUNK: How many times have you driven down a back country road and seen old mattress laying in the ditch? Well.....I’ll tell you the way they got there. A couple of rednecks needing to get rid of an old mattress, iced down a 12 pack of cold beer, load up the ol’ mattress in the back of the pickup and headed out looking for a place to chunk it. When they find the perfect place and nobody is looking, they chug down the rest of their beer, jump out of the truck into the back, grab the mattress and chunk it as far as they can, jump back down in the truck, slam the doors, and act like nothing ever happened. Well that’s what this contest is all about....seeing how far a couple of rednecks can chunk a mattress out the back of a pickup. We will provide the mattress and truck. The rednecks will provide the beer. Maximum contestants: 10 teams.
DAISY DUKE SHOW-OFF: This event will be for WOMEN only. Cut-off blue jeans are the only daisy dukes that will be allowed. Maximum entries: UNLIMITED
BILL FOSTER & TOMMY PATTON INVITATIONAL WET T-SHIRT CONTEST: This is just a plain ole Wet T-Shirt contest. The only difference is that it will be divided into two classes, FACTORY AND MODIFIED. There is no entry fee for this event. Registration will take place at the office prior to the event. We will provide the wife beater t-shirts to each contestant. There will be a set of rules that each girl must follow to be eligible to win. You must be at least 18 years of age or older to enter and you must furnish a valid ID. Any additional money contributed by the crowd will be divided with 50% going to 1st Place in each class, 30% of additional money going to 2nd Place in each class, and 20% of additional money going to 3rd Place in each class. 1st Place for this event will pay $1,500 per class plus any additional money. The official job of wetting the girls t-shirts after the girls put the t-shirts on, will be auctioned off to the highest bidder before the contest starts. This extra money will be added to the prize money. Hey guys, just how bad do you want this job? Bring some extra cash, cause you might just be the highest bidder.
what a joke...who in thier right mind waits to slam a twelve before driving.
A considerable waste of dirt road drivin time. burp
With a comment like that I would have thought you were from Texas! My in laws have a 330 acre ranch and I don't consider that a big ranch either. It weird because when I say 'little ranch' my friends give me strange looks but in Texas its just not that big. Its great and I love it but a big ranch measures in the thousands.
;-)
"That's what you get for letting rednecks play with antimatter." - John Ringo
Shouldn't they all?
Belly laughs by the dozens. I guarantee it. http://boortz.com/more/funny/redneck_pics.html
Most 76 YO's would turn off their hearing aid.
Bobby ought to just be happy that he can still hear.
I'm not from Texas... yet!
All of them games sound just fine to me - but the Spam eating contest, now THAT’S where I would probably shine. I just love Spam, and so even if I didn’t come close to winning, what a good time I would have. ANd, anyway, I would lot rather have the Redneck Games next to my place than have a bunch of hippies throwing a “Woodstock” next to me.
You better hurry, land prices are skyrocketing.
Yeh—sounds like great fun to me, too. Fried okra is my fav-o-rite redneck food.
Ha! That's funny!
6000 drunks could get annoying. If it were me, I’d figure out a way to make money off it. Sell parking spaces in my front yard. Maybe print some souvenir tee shirts or something. Set up a spin-off event/attraction and sell tickets. Then you at least make a few dollars for your trouble.
Like people who buy homes next to an airport and then complain about the noise.
The fear factor game sounds pretty cool. We do a game with Cub Scouts where we give them an assortment of gross and yucky foods. Whoever can choke it down wins.
lol like Rednecks get permits! haha
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