Posted on 08/08/2007 7:55:43 AM PDT by EdReform
ZUCK: Have gun, will tremble
Sunday, August 5, 2007 10:50 PM EDT
A weekend in Las Vegas! The lights, the casinos, the shows, the glitz, the noise, the - guns?
"This here's the easiest to start with. It's got less kick so it's easier to control." Into my hand he plops a Smith & Wesson .357 Magnum revolver. It's only the second time in my life I've actually touched a gun (the first being during a Boy Scout trip). My hand droops under the surprising weight of the pistol. He chuckles. What am I doing here?
It's Saturday afternoon, and having lost too much money all too quickly at the poker tables, my buddy and I are seeking refuge from the dry Nevada heat at a gun club a few miles off the Strip. We can't remember whose idea it was, but neither of us thought we'd actually go through with it.
"That's a great little gun there," the other salesguy chimes in. "I'm giving one to my niece for her 21st birthday. She's a fine shot." I'm not sure whether he's boasting or poking fun at me - probably both. Apparently, I'm holding a girl's gun.
"Guns are great to have around," he continues. "Just like seat belts and fire extinguishers - you don't know when you're going to need one, but when there's an intruder in my house I'll be glad to have it." I look around and watch a dozen or so gun-toting, plaid-wearing bearded guys nod in agreement. I decide now's not the time to mention that children can't accidentally kill themselves by playing with seat belts and a fire can't steal your fire extinguisher and use it against you.
Having completed my eight-second firearm tutorial, I don my safety goggles and large red earmuffs and head for the shooting range. Carefully cradling my pistol and a box of 50 .38 Specials to my chest, I ease my way down to lane number six. Every few seconds I violently twitch as another gun is fired; even with ear protection the noise is deafening. I'll be glad to get out of here without soiling my undergarments.
I take my target - a large off-white sheet featuring a potential intruder's head and torso - and clip it to the metal pole above me. A flick of a switch sends it flying backward into space. I load my pistol and take aim, briefly wondering how much it hurts to accidentally shoot oneself in the foot.
I squeeze off shot after shot, jumping at the sound of each one. Some people feel powerful with a pistol in their hand; I feel terror. I reload rapidly, hoping I run out of rounds before I run out of luck and end up with nine fingers.
It's not until I leave that I relax enough to take a look at my target. Though I aimed at my intruder's heart on every shot, most sailed wide, past his right shoulder. When I find an intruder in my house, I'll just throw a fire extinguisher at him.
BILL ZUCK, a former Foxboro resident, is relieved to still have all of his digits. You can reach him at wcz78@yahoo.com.
Meow
Boy howdy!
What a P#ssy.
A piece of inanimate metal makes him tremble.
God help us.
Bill, Grow a pair. If you won’t look out for yourself, don’t expect others to do it for you. My 9 year old daughter learned to shoot a .38, ya’ wuss.
Good Lord. What a pansy. I’ve met five-year old girls with more pluck than that. How nauseating.
TC
It doesn’t say in the article if he cried.
poor baby...
or if he soiled his undergarments...
How about how many children die in auto accidents or drowning in backyard pools?
The genius of this man - publishing a notice in a public newspaper to any would-be home invader that they should simply duck the flying fire extinguisher, and then they’re on easy street...
The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea
In a beautiful pea green boat,
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
Wrapped up in a five pound note.
The Owl looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar,
‘O lovely Pussy! O Pussy my love,
What a beautiful Pussy you are,
You are,
You are!
What a beautiful Pussy you are!’
“It’s not until I leave that I relax enough to take a look at my target.”
I have to call B.S. on that. You know he looked at the target as soon as possible. Anyone would. Liar.
He makes John Edwards sound like Rambo.
My 9 year old grandson has been firing a .357 S&W for a couple of years now. I got my daughter a Taurus .38SP. last year when her husband was in Iraq and both she and my granddaughter (12 at the time) shot very well with it. What a total wuss this Zuck must be.
LOL
Oh, wait ... the author's a guy.
Supposedly.
Feh ...
My cute little 6yo niece is more manly.
Maybe he should have tried it sober.
I'm calling BS on this panties-pi$$ing hoplophobic drama queen. I can't believe that anybody's going to make those claims about a .357 Magnum to a newbie shooter.
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