Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

To: codercpc; All; Xenalyte; restornu; CenTexConfederate; Paperdoll; Milton Friedman; ...
when Tommy was the Gov here, ... I remember a few appearances where he was drunker than a skunk, but he was always so loveable that nobody seemed to mind.

Your post reminded me of a bit of humor from the Ames Tribune. Notice Tommy gets mentioned at the end:

DES MOINES - The Iowa Republican Party's straw poll in Ames is just days away. You can already feel the electricity.

The straw poll will be a pivotal test in the race for the GOP nomination, according to a high-ranking Republican who took time out from raking cash into piles. There will be high drama and patriotic pageantry.

Skeptical? Just feast your eyes on this (fake) schedule of straw poll events.

9 a.m. - Flat Tax Flapjacks Feed, sponsored by the American Federation of Tax Flatteners. Church-basement-strength coffee provided by Concerned Americans for Caffeine-free Worship.

9:30 a.m. - Ceremonial inflation of a five-stories-tall Mitt Romney colossus.       Location: Just west of Hilton Coliseum.

10 a.m. - Straw poll voting begins.

10: 15 a.m. - Ann Coulter's "Cooking with Liberals" class. CANCELED.

10:30 a.m. - "Up with Moderates" rally. Location: Public phone booth on the west side of Hilton Coliseum.

10:45 a.m. - "A Convenient Truth - The Myth of Climate Change" rally. Location: Future site of Iowa State University's banana plantation on Elwood Drive.

11 a.m. - "Freedom to be Fashionable" An American Flag Necktie Fashion Show. Location: Scheman Building.

11 a.m. - "Impeach Hillary" rally at Jack Trice Stadium. Hey, it's never too early to get started, just in case.

11 a.m. - Fox News Truth Booth opens. First 1,000 visitors can register for a dream date with Brit Hume.

11:05 a.m. - Unveiling of the new and improved Wall Street Journal. Meet Candy Cassady, the Journal's new Page 3 Patriot Girl, live and in person.

11:10 a.m. Workshops.

      "How to defeat a Clinton" - former House speaker Newt Gingrich. Location: American Solutions Tent.

      "Openness in American Democracy" - Vice President Dick Cheney. Location: None of your bee's wax. CANCELED

11:30 a.m. - The Rapture occurs.

11:35 a.m. - Sam Brownback drops out of the presidential race.

11:40 a.m. - Rudy Giuliani reconsiders and arrives at the straw poll.

11:45 a.m. - Fred Thompson skydives into the straw poll with the world famous flying Elvises. Location: Hilton parking lot C3.

11:55 a.m. - John McCain campaign jet flyover.

Noon - Program begins, Hilton Coliseum.

12:45 p.m. - Candidate speeches:

      Mitt Romney - "Fake Left, Run Right and Cross the Goal Line to Victory."

      Tom Tancredo - "Good, Heavily Armed, Very High, Razor-Wired, Fully Electrified Fences Make Good Neighbors."

      John Cox - "A Good Time to Head for the Concession Stand."

      Ron Paul - "Hey, Don't You Dare Groan When I'm Talking to You."

      Mike Huckabee - "I'm Reasonable, Articulate, Conservative, Smart and This is Probably My Last Speech as a Candidate."

      Duncan Hunter - "Geez, Quit Checking Your Watches."

      Tommy Thompson - "I've Been to All 99 Counties, I Ate 127 Tenderloins, and I Know How to Pronounce Nevada. You Owe Me."

6 p.m. - Voting Ends.

7 p.m. - Results are announced.

7:15 p.m. - Ron Paul Victory Party.

7:20 p.m. - Romney colossus deflation.

8 p.m. - Tommy Thompson spends the last remaining dollars in his campaign's war chest buying the house a round at Whiskey River in downtown Ames.


All in good fun folks, it's a college town paper. I like the 7:15pm Ron Paul Victory Party but without any mention of who actually won it. LOL. RP supporters are a lively crowd all right.

There will be one or two surprises in Ames, I think. And some of the candidates will drop out or, more often, just "suspend" their campaigns.
337 posted on 08/05/2007 10:50:16 AM PDT by George W. Bush (Rudy: tough on terror, scared of Iowa, wets himself over YouTube)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 300 | View Replies ]


To: George W. Bush

As our ol’ buddy H. Ross would say, “That was High-larus!”


341 posted on 08/05/2007 10:54:54 AM PDT by The Pack Knight (Duty, Honor, Country. Right-Wing Conspirator and Friend of Fred)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 337 | View Replies ]

To: George W. Bush

Just enough truth in that to make it very funny.


343 posted on 08/05/2007 10:56:49 AM PDT by codercpc
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 337 | View Replies ]

To: George W. Bush
The spoof may not be too far off......

Iowa Straw Poll Schedule and other info

 
9:00 a.m.    FairTax Rally – Stephens Auditorium 
             Dare to be  Fair Rally with Neal Boortz 
 
10:00 a.m.   Voting begins at Scheman, Stephens, and Hilton 
 
11:00 a.m.   NRA Rally - Stephens Auditorium    
 
11:00 a.m.   American Solutions Workshops 
 
11:00 a.m.   Doors Open to Hilton Coliseum 
 
12:00 p.m.   Pre-Program Begins 
             Welcome, Pledge, Colors, National Anthem 
 
12:30 p.m.   Program Begins 
 
12:40 p.m.   Candidates on Stage  for Group Photo 
 
12:45 p.m.   Candidate  Speeches 
 
3:30 p.m.    Program Ends 
             MC Takes Stage, Announces Timetable for Results    
             MC Introduces Post Program 
 
3:30 p.m.    American Solutions Workshops 
 
4:00 p.m.    One Vote ‘08 Post-Program (details to follow) 
 
6:00 p.m.    Voting Ends 
 
7:00 p.m.    Results Announced 

Althought McCain, Giuliani, Thompson are missing they are on the ballot.....

Straw Poll Ballot 
Sam Brownback 
John Cox 
Rudy Giuliani 
Mike Huckabee 
Duncan Hunter 
John McCain 
Ron Paul 
Mitt Romney 
Tom Tancredo 
Fred Thompson 
Tommy Thompson 


CLick

353 posted on 08/05/2007 11:13:50 AM PDT by deport ( Cue Spooky Music...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 337 | View Replies ]

To: George W. Bush; OrthodoxPresbyterian
FYI, I know you both have probably already seen this post debate blurb from on the ground in Iowa

Fox Focus Group Rates Ron Paul the Winner

398 posted on 08/05/2007 12:42:17 PM PDT by billbears (Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it. --Santayana)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 337 | View Replies ]

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article


FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson