Posted on 08/01/2007 6:59:32 AM PDT by ParsifalCA
In other words:
Harold:
Well, either you’re closing your eyes
To a situation you do now wish to acknowledge
Or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated
By the presence of a pool table in your community.
Ya got trouble, my friend, right here,
I say, trouble right here in River City.
Why sure I’m a billiard player,
Certainly mighty proud I say
I’m always mighty proud to say it.
I consider that the hours I spend
With a cue in my hand are golden.
Help you cultivate horse sense
And a cool head and a keen eye.
Never take and try to give
An iron-clad leave to yourself
From a three-reail billiard shot?
But just as I say,
It takes judgement, brains, and maturity to score
In a balkline game,
I say that any boob kin take
And shove a ball in a pocket.
And they call that sloth.
The first big step on the road
To the depths of deg-ra-Day—
I say, first, medicinal wine from a teaspoon,
Then beer from a bottle.
An’ the next thing ya know,
Your son is playin’ for money
In a pinch-back suit.
And list’nin to some big out-a-town Jasper
Hearin’ him tell about horse-race gamblin’.
Not a wholesome trottin’ race, no!
But a race where they set down right on the horse!
Like to see some stuck-up jockey’boy
Sittin’ on Dan Patch? Make your blood boil?
Well, I should say.
Friends, lemme tell you what I mean.
Ya got one, two, three, four, five, six pockets in a table.
Pockets that mark the diff’rence
Between a gentlemen and a bum,
With a capital “B,”
And that rhymes with “P” and that stands for pool!
And all week long your River City
Youth’ll be frittern away,
I say your young men’ll be frittern!
Frittern away their noontime, suppertime, choretime too!
Get the ball in the pocket,
Never mind gittin’ Dandelions pulled
Or the screen door patched or the beefsteak pounded.
Never mind pumpin’ any water
‘Til your parents are caught with the Cistern empty
On a Saturday night and that’s trouble,
Oh, yes we got lots and lots a’ trouble.
I’m thinkin’ of the kids in the knickerbockers,
Shirt-tail young ones, peekin’ in the pool
Hall window after school, look, folks!
Right here in River City.
Trouble with a capital “T”
And that rhymes with “P” and that stands for pool!
Now, I know all you folks are the right kinda parents.
I’m gonna be perfectly frank.
Would ya like to know what kinda conversation goes
On while they’re loafin’ around that Hall?
They’re tryin’ out Bevo, tryin’ out cubebs,
Tryin’ out Tailor Mades like Cigarette Feends!
And braggin’ all about
How they’re gonna cover up a tell-tale breath with Sen-Sen.
One fine night, they leave the pool hall,
Headin’ for the dance at the Arm’ry!
Libertine men and Scarlet women!
And Rag-time, shameless music
That’ll grab your son and your daughter
With the arms of a jungle animal instink!
Mass-staria!
Friends, the idle brain is the devil’s playground!
People:
Trouble, oh we got trouble,
Right here in River City!
With a capital “T”
That rhymes with “P”
And that stands for Pool,
That stands for pool.
We’ve surely got trouble!
Right here in River City,
Right here!
Gotta figger out a way
To keep the young ones moral after school!
Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble...
Harold:
Mothers of River City!
Heed the warning before it’s too late!
Watch for the tell-tale sign of corruption!
The moment your son leaves the house,
Does he rebuckle his knickerbockers below the knee?
Is there a nicotine stain on his index finger?
A dime novel hidden in the corn crib?
Is he starting to memorize jokes from Capt.
Billy’s Whiz Bang?
Are certain words creeping into his conversation?
Words like ‘swell?”
And ‘so’s your old man?”
Well, if so my friends,
Ya got trouble,
Right here in River city!
With a capital “T”
And that rhymes with “P”
And that stands for Pool.
We’ve surely got trouble!
Right here in River City!
Remember the Maine, Plymouth Rock and the Golden Rule!
Oh, we’ve got trouble.
We’re in terrible, terrible trouble.
That game with the fifteen numbered balls is a devil’s tool!
Oh yes we got trouble, trouble, trouble!
With a “T”! Gotta rhyme it with “P”!
And that stands for Pool!!!
With or without the web?
With, one or two maybe.
Without no, not likely.
People responded to your initial comment because you showed your ignorance by claming that those interested in Harry Potter could not also be interested in politics. Clearly, you spoke from a lack of knowledge.
As for those of us here having a boring life, none of us have to spend our time trolling and showing our ignorance on threads that are of no interest to us.
Maybe you should ask Mom if you can come out of the basement and go to the library.
It's just a suggestion.
I guess your right. I must be ignorant and lacking knowledge of all the brilliant intellectuals who read Harry Potter books. Are you by the way a country club republican?
It may be boring, but it is the life I have...
One thing I have noticed about the Harry Potter stuff. People who are tuned into and follow politics don’t read or watch the garbage.
I don't give a rat's clymer if you like or read the books or not. But that statement was, particularly in light of the countless (and often endless) Harry Potter threads on FReeRepublic fercryinoutloud, an ignorant statement.
Do yourself a favor and don't make yourself look any worse.
How weird! Honestly, do you think we'd be sitting in the living room at the computer, surrounded by little boys yelling "WitterwitterwitterwitterWITTER! I'M A WITTER SANDWICH!" if we had the choice of being at the country club?
I’ve gotta know- what’s a witter sandwich? LOL (little kids crack me up)
I have no idea. My youngest batch of sons are 5, 3, and 1, and they have a number of unusual amusements, of which “witter sandwiches” is *not* the strangest. That would be “trash cookies,” where they all lie down in a pile on the back of the sofa, sing a song about “trash cookies,” and then roll down to the floor, hopefully with the largest boy on the bottom.
LOL! Vey good, hon!
Sounds amusing lol.
LMAO! That’s so funny! The things kids come up with to entertain themselves.
Homeschooled radical right-wing Christian nut-job pro-life pro-gun Midwestern conservative Harry Potter fan here.
And Corin at a country club - *snerk* - yeah, I can see that.
hmmmmm ...one thing i noticed is that ignorant people make blankets statements of judgement about people.
i enjoyed the Harry Potter series with my children..both the books and the movies...its something we share...
maybe i have the ability to be tuned into more than one thing at a time without negating anything?
as far as it being garbage? ...read it then we will talk.
*sigh* My son’s amusment was to bang his head on the wall hard enough to rattle the windows. Giggle at the sound they made, and repeat. and repete. and repeat...
I forgot they call him that! LOL!
“Occultism and male prostitution are both abominations in the eyes of God.”
So is sitting in judgment of others.
Thank you, its stuff like the ranting of the anti harry potter kooks that causes me to all most agree with Voltaire's comments on organized religion
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