Dad, What's Unabhängigkeitstag?

VANITY | July 4, 2007 | Nathanbedford

[nathanbedford]

A few years ago I published this vanity and many FReepers were kind enough to express appreciation so I have grown a tradition of my own by posting it every Fourth of July

DAD, WHAT's UNABHAENGIGKEITSTAG?

"Is that when the thirteen colonies broke away from England?" My ten year inquired out of nowhere at 6 AM German time this morning.

"Yeah, why do you want to know, eat your breakfast," I mumbled, too sleepy to be very curious. "Because I am afraid my teacher will ask me, since I am wearing this T-shirt and I'm the only American in the class." With an effort, I adjusted my gaze upward to his white T-shirt. It was brand new. Prominent on his breast was an image of the flag and below that:

OLD NAVY

FREEDOM 2005 TRADITION

Waking up now, I reflected that if the Old Navy company could so shamelessly trade on the image of the flag, it ought in decency at least amend the line below to:

FREEDOM 2005 COMMERCE

But then I thought, what could be more traditional in America than commercializing the flag?

"Waddayamean, you're the only American in class, what's that got to do with the Fourth of July?" My paternal antannae were also coming to life. I remembered that the kids had sometimes returned from Gymnasium, German high school, and recited seemingly off-hand remarks from professors disparaging America and especially George Bush. Some of the hearsay reports had been pretty rough, describing America as killing Iraqis or causing global warming and the like.

"I think he will call on me to explain the Declaration of Indepencence to the whole class," masking his apprehension.

"So, what will you tell them?"

"That is how we got free of England," he replied, in German. "That's right, as far as it goes. Never mind breakfast, lets get to the computer, it time to search FreeRepublic." A few minutes later we had a copy of the declaration printed out, with the font changed to italics for psuedo verisimilitude to the venerable document. "There are actually a couple of ideas in here that are more important than announcing our break with England," I said, highlighting with a yellow marker this passage:

that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights

And this passage too:

Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed

"This means that who you are, what rights you have, come directly from God and not from the government. In fact, the government is there to serve you, as a child of God, not the other way around, and when the government takes away your rights, the government is not legitimate, and you can change it."

"What's legitimate?" Ah, " berechtigt," I answered. I must have gotten it right for he seemed satisfied with the translation and his Deutsch is better than mine. Handing him the printout, I said, "take this with you, read it on the bus, and when you get to class you tell them these ideas are America's gift to the world. A lot of people in Europe think your rights come from the government, not the other way around. No one had ever done this 'for real' before. Look what it says here just before where they signed it, it means they knew they were risking their lives:"

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor

"OK, dad, see ya."

An hour later, his mother asked me, "Did you give him a printout of the Declaration of Independence?" "Yup," I proudly responded.

She laughed, "He said, 'Dad really expects me to read this on the schoolbus'"

[nathanbedford]

Mitt einer deutschsprachigen Tastatur.

[stevie_d_64]

Yeah, that stupid translation site kinda stinks...

At least it didn’t say something about massaging a member of your family...That would have been awkward...

I’d be in big heap trouble...hehehe

[stevie_d_64]

Yep...

#22 speaks my Mea Culpa...

I’ll stick to english, thank you very much! hehehe

Going to de-bookmark this abomination...

http://www.freetranslation.com/

[stevie_d_64]

We need more father than you in the world?

That should have been:

“We need more fathers “like” you in the world.”

Oh well, back to the grill...

[patton]

“Wir brauchen noch mehr Vatern so wie Dich au der Welt.”

Umsonst...

[nathanbedford]

The first time I drove in Germany, I asked my wife to find this town "umleitung" on the map.

That means "detour"

I know a fella who wrote down the street name of his hotel so he could give it to a taxi driver after a pub crawl. He wrote down "Einbahnstrasse". The taxi driver scratched his head when his betrunkener passenger handed him the paper.

That means "one way street."

No one has embarrassed himself more in a foreign language than I have. With age it gets harder. We gotta just keep on trying.

I just tell myself my execrable foreign accent is exotic. The kids would rather die than be seen in public with me.

[OESY]

Morgen, Nathan! It's good to see you are alive and well and tutoring your son,
even if he may not fully appreciate your efforts yet.

.

[nathanbedford]

Top'o'd' Morgen to you.

Unless I miss my guess that is a painting from the Minge Romantic School of my new Heimat, Chiemsee.

Thanks for that.

[FrankR]

I married my first wife when I was stationed in Germany. Afer we got back to America, we were driving down the expressway one day and she asked, "Why do we never get to that town, I keep seeing the sign, but we never get there?".

To wit, I asked, "What town?"

In her German accent, she said "grest ahhreah."

She had been seeing the "Rest Area" signs.

A few years later, she had joined a local women's club, and they were discussing something and she stood up in front of the entire assembly and said, "Well, if you can't join them, lick them.".

[nathanbedford]

My father-in -law took my 7 year old son to get haircuts. When the barber asked him how he wanted it cut, grandpa didn't have a clue so he asked his grandson to translate.

The little smart ass responded, "that will cost you two euro." He made him pay.

By God, I've got a capitalist!

[G8 Diplomat]

Ich habe zwei Hunde, sieben Katzen, einen Meerschweinen, und fünf Fische. Mein Haus ist ein Zoo.

[OESY]

I was confident you would recognize it.

The title of the painting is Sonniger Morgen am Chiemsee, by Hans Fredrick Gude.

Here's an interesting link you may have already found: ArtRoots.com

.

[toddlintown]

My mother once exclaimed that it seemed that all exits on the Authobahn were leading to “Ausfahrt,” obviously one hell of a big city. Of course, I had to explained to her it means “exit.”

[FrankR]

We had a band over there in the 60's, we called ourselves the "Pathfinders".

We scheduled a concert at a German club, and all of the posters and advertising listed us as the "Fahrtfinders.

[stevie_d_64]

Yep...What you said...

My American keyboard really is an anchor...

[SoldierMedic]

I imported the mare, Monica Lewinsky, from Poland. If you tap her fron legs with a crop she will get down on her knees.

Lol

[nathanbedford]

Thanks

I have been exploring that link.