[nathanbedford]

The first time I drove in Germany, I asked my wife to find this town "umleitung" on the map.

That means "detour"

I know a fella who wrote down the street name of his hotel so he could give it to a taxi driver after a pub crawl. He wrote down "Einbahnstrasse". The taxi driver scratched his head when his betrunkener passenger handed him the paper.

That means "one way street."

No one has embarrassed himself more in a foreign language than I have. With age it gets harder. We gotta just keep on trying.

I just tell myself my execrable foreign accent is exotic. The kids would rather die than be seen in public with me.

[FrankR]

I married my first wife when I was stationed in Germany. Afer we got back to America, we were driving down the expressway one day and she asked, "Why do we never get to that town, I keep seeing the sign, but we never get there?".

To wit, I asked, "What town?"

In her German accent, she said "grest ahhreah."

She had been seeing the "Rest Area" signs.

A few years later, she had joined a local women's club, and they were discussing something and she stood up in front of the entire assembly and said, "Well, if you can't join them, lick them.".