"Obviously Og was wrong. The individual ego and the group dynamic continue to be in conflict."
Posted on 06/30/2007 3:46:45 AM PDT by Clive
I've been reading a lot about something called living a "carbon neutral" life.
Or as the David Suzuki Foundations puts it: "Going carbon neutral is an easy way to take responsibility for the greenhouse gas emissions we create every time we drive our cars, take a plane, or turn on our computers."
How do we do this, you may ask? We're supposed to "offset your own emissions." if you pardon the expression, by making an equal donation to "wind farms, solar installations, or energy efficiency projects."
Think of it as your personal little Kyoto, or owing the earth a nickel every time you breathe carbon dioxide.
There are all sorts of little carbon calculators available on the web now, letting you see how much damage your existence does to the environment, and how to reduce your "carbon footprint."
I even found a helpful guide to throwing a "low-carbon, sustainable wedding," with invitations made from scrap paper and offering your guests "shade grown, fair trade, organic coffee and teas." The writer threw a bridal shower "with all vegetarian food, no paper plates and no paper napkins." Although eating from a trough might set the wrong tone for a bridal shower -- a bachelor party maybe, but not a bridal shower.
One writer calculated her wedding would be responsible for adding about 15 tonnes of carbon dioxide to the atmosphere. When a bride puts on 15 tonnes, someone should really say something. Seriously, if these are the things you worry about, maybe you should consider eloping in a hybrid car instead.
Of course I love the environment.
I buy low packaging products, keep the house too hot in summer and too cold in winter, have crummy energy-saver bulbs that keep my house looking like an operating theatre, and recycle everything they will take, but I draw the line at a wedding invitation that asks me to make a donation to offset the carbon dioxide my plane will give off in order to share the blessed day with a distant relative.
I wonder if our caveman ancestors knew what they were doing when they started all this. Scientists tell us the last ice age ended about 11,500 years ago when things suddenly got a lot warmer.
What brought on this global warming? It certainly wasn't an idling SUV or a lavish wedding. Maybe it was something our ancestors did.
"It's getting hot out," Og said to Grog. It was true. There was hardly any ice left outside their cave.
Grog just grunted and kept banging two rocks together.
"I've been thinking," Og went on. "Maybe we're causing temperatures to rise."
"You mean we've offended the gods?" Grog asked.
"No, I mean our lifestyle. There has to be a couple thousand humans in the world by now. Did you ever think we could be killing the environment?"
It hadn't occurred to Grog. He spent his days trying to keep the environment from killing him.
"I mean," Og continued, "we mostly eat meat. Do you know how many acres it takes to feed one giant sloth? Even though it's free range, that's not very responsible."
Grog hoped Og would shut up. He was working on something.
"And then there's the way you commute. Do you think your mastodon is very fuel efficient? I've walked behind it -- you wouldn't believe how much greenhouse gas it gives off."
Grog hit the rocks together again and this time a spark lit some sticks.
"It's my new invention," he said. "I call it 'fire.' "
Og shook his head. "Trust me, no good will come from this."
-
"Obviously Og was wrong. The individual ego and the group dynamic continue to be in conflict."
I thought this was a set-up for a GGG ping abouut the origins of our sleep-cycle and naps...
Oh sure, blame it on the caveman! You'll be hearing from our lawyers!
All these idiots are going to have such egg on their faces, when it is clear that extra carbon dioxide is the result of the Sun warming the planet, and is not the cause of it. All of that wasted effort for naught.
Since the average human produces about two pounds of Carbon Dioxide per day by respiration, the best way to be carbon neutral is to stop breathing.
‘organic coffees and teas’? People who raise organically grown plants use manure instead of chemicals for fertilizer. Manure is the agent that gets E. coli into our food chain. Remember the bad spinach last year? It was organically grown.
When the environmentalists were successful in having the insecticide DDT taken off the market, malaria became rampant again Africa.
How much death and destruction are these environmental loonie dictators going to be allowed to cause?
By not flying my jet plane, which I don’t have, I have built up millions of units of carbon neutral credits. I plan to offer these credits for sale to people who fly a lot in jets.
Financing available. Send for Free Kit.
the best way to be carbon neutral is to stop breathing
That IS ultimately what the Environmentalists want. Everyone should stop breathing, but them.
I promise not to drive my car on Sundays.
Send me $1,000,000.
Cash.
Hey, would anyone like to buy a carbon offset offset? Just send me some money and I will go out into the desert and burn an old tire to offset the offset of the ecofreak of your choice.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
You could accomplish the same thing and have a lot more fun by driving a high-powered muscle car and popping the clutch on a revved-up engine.
Won't work. Corpses give off vast amounts of methane as they decompose. Embalming uses large amounts of formaldehydye, a carbon compound. If only you had had the forethought to have never been conceived, you would have a chance.
“Hey, would anyone like to buy a carbon offset offset? Just send me some money and I will go out into the desert and burn an old tire to offset the offset of the ecofreak of your choice.”
LOL!
US taxpayers are already contributing our “nickel” through wind farms and other “clean” energy sources. For wind farms - there is a production tax credit (PTC) in which we all are taxed on a per kW hr basis.
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