Iowahawk: Midwest Lutherans Largely Reject Violence

Iowahawk | 05/23/07 | David Burge

[dighton]

Chicago - By an almost two-to-one margin, Midwest Lutherans voiced solid opposition to decapitation, suicide bombing, and chemical warfare in a new comprehensive survey of their social attitudes.

The Pew Research survey, conducted May 13-19, queried nearly 2,500 randomly selected Lutherans at flea markets and convenience stores across the Midwest. Interviews were conducted in High Plains Twang, Great Lakes Nasal and Flat Ohio Valley Bland.

“If there is one headline here, it’s how remarkably moderate the Lutheran community is,” said Pew director Andrew Kohut of the survey, which was co-sponsored by the Council on American-Yooper Relations. “It really paints a picture of a dynamic culture in or somewhere near the American mainstream.”

Continued ...

[STONEWALLS]

would that be green jello with or without a dollop of Miracle Whip?

....in all seriousness when I lived in Des Mones I dated a girl whose church was Missouri Synod.....they were the nicest folks in the world....

[PAR35]

I agree, was trying to be polite

The mark of a true Lutheran...

Switch to Calvinism. It's much more fun.

[lightman]

Well, I guess the Lutherans are OK. It’s those Baptists you have to watch out for.

Oh please, Baptists are babes in the grass compared to the Amish.

IIRC in Blazing Saddlesthe list of terrorist requested for the destruction of Rock Ridge distinctly ended with ....and METHODISTS!"

[lightman]

Lutheran humor Ping!

[Alex Murphy]

Well, at least the Lutherans are peaceful...

Southern Baptists launch pre-emptive strikes against Assemblies of God

[IslandJeff]

That’s great to hear (I’m LCMS, myself) - there is just no denying the regional component of some denominations.

For instance, PCUSA Presbyterians tend to have more of a NE/New England polity influence from the blueblood Scots who settled there prior to the Revolution.

Green Jello and spaghetti in my church basement from age 5 to 13. I’ve had more therapy sessions than that Geico Caveman.

[Elsiejay]

They’re predestined for something. I forget just what it is.

[dighton]

IIRC in Blazing Saddles the list of terrorist requested for the destruction of Rock Ridge distinctly ended with ....and METHODISTS!

You recalled correctly: scroll down.

[cpprfld]

By an almost two-to-one margin, Midwest Lutherans voiced solid opposition to decapitation, suicide bombing, and chemical warfare in a new comprehensive survey of their social attitudes.

I am concerned about the one third of Midwest Lutherans who support decapitation, suicide bombings, and chemical warfare.

[GoLightly]

Do you know you can’t outrun a fast moving Ski-Doo? I think many Presbyterians think they can if there’s a Lutheran in command of said vehicle, which they loudly announce by saying, “You can’t run me over with that thing.” There are some things in this world that don’t operate democratically & Ski-Doo’s are one of ‘em.

[Cecily]

That must be the group Garrison Keillor belongs to.

[mikrofon]

Yeah, a bunch of sword-wielding fanatics, the lot of 'em...

[AnAmericanMother]

Heck, Marty wasn't EVER that good lookin'.

[redgolum]

I agree, was trying to be polite The mark of a true Lutheran.

In some ways. Depends on the situation. My family is known for having temper that is like a long fuse on an extremely big bomb. Many of the people in my home parish where like that.

And of course we were never polite to the stinking Swedes from the next county north who claimed to have the better potlucks!

[redgolum]

Well, you have to get the green jello so you can get to the pie! At least that is what Mom and Grandma always told. me.

[redgolum]

That is after he was married to Katie, and she fattened him up a bit.

Some of the paintings of the early Luther have him looking rather thin.

[null and void]

Well, I guess the Lutherans are OK. It’s those Baptists you have to watch out for.

Just how long are they suppose to hold you under????

[null and void]

I heard a “Merry Christmas and Happy Ramadan” from the pulpit, and then I never went back.

Nor would I. Not even to be the guest of honor at a funeral.

[GoLightly]

FOTFL

[Publius]

Back in 1999 I wrote this satirical essay of news items, in one of which an Episcopal militia group attacks an Assembly of God church and brutally slashes the congregation with the sharpened edges of their American Express cards.