Why White Men Prefer Asian Women
The View From A Sushi Bar
There is near me an Asian sushi-beer-and-dinner establishment that I’ll call the Asia Spot. The region is urban, so the clientele is a mix of some of just about everything, but the waitresses are all Asian, principally Japanese, Indonesian, Vietnamese, and Thai.
The Spot is a neighborhood bar. A large after-work crowd, many of them regulars, gather at happy hour. The social dynamics are curious. It would be an exaggeration to say, as someone did, that the black guys come to pick up white women, and the white men come to get away from them – but it would be an exaggeration of an underlying truth. The waitresses are a large part of the Spot’s appeal.
A common subject of conversation among male customers is how very attractive these women are when compared to American women. It is not a thought safe to utter in mixed company. It is a very common thought. American women know it.
Why are the Asians attractive? What, to huge numbers of men, makes almost any Asian more appealing than almost any American? The question is much discussed by men at the Spot. (I should say here that when I say “women,” I mean the majority of women, the mainstream, the center of gravity. Yes, there are exceptions and degrees.)
American women of my acquaintance offer several explanations, all of them wrong. For example, they say that Asian women are sexually easy. No. American women are sexually easy. The waitresses at the Spot are not available. They date, but they cannot be picked up.
Another explanation popular among American women is that men want submissive women, which Asians are believed to be. Again, no. For one thing, submissive people are bland and boring. In any event the waitresses aren’t submissive. Many compete successfully in tough professions. Among Asian waitresses I know I count an electrical engineer who does wide-area networks, and a woman with a masters in biochemistry who, upon finding that research required a Ph.D and didn’t pay, went back to school and became a dentist. Both of these wait tables to help out in the family restaurant.
At the Spot I know a woman waitressing her way through a degree in computer security, a bright Japansese college graduate making a career in the restaurant business, and the manager of the Spot – not a light-weight job. Submissiveness has nothing to do with their attractiveness.
Why, then, are they so very appealing?
To begin with, look at the American women in the Spot. Perhaps a third of them are stylishly dressed. The rest of the gringas run from undistinguished to dumpster-casual: baggy jeans, oversize shirts — often male shirts — with the tails out. They seem to affect a sort of homeless chic, actually to want to look bad, and do it with more than a touch of androgyny. A high proportion are at least somewhat overweight. (So are the men, but that’s another subject.) The Asians, without exception, are sleek, well-groomed, and dressed with an understated sexiness that never pushes trashy.
Further, the Asians are what were once called “ladies,” a thought repellant to feminists but very so refreshing to men. Listen to the American women at neighboring tables, and you will frequently hear phrases like, “He’s a fucking piece of shit.” In what appears to be a determined attempt to be men, they have adopted the mode of discourse of a male locker room and made it their normal language. The Asians, classier, better students of men, do not have foul mouths. They presumably know about body parts and bathroom functions, but do not believe that a woman raises her stature by referring to them constantly in mixed company.
Men at the Spot, I have noticed, instantly understand that cloacal commentqry is not wanted, and don’t engage in it: In the presence of the civilized, men adopt the standards of civilization. Men also tend to think of women as women think of themselves. The Asians, without displaying vanity, clearly think well of themselves. And ought to.
All in all, they give the impression that they do not want to be one of the guys. They want to be one of the girls. Here we come to the core of their appeal. Let me elaborate.
The default position of American women is what men refer to as “the chip,” a veiled truculence, mixed with a not-very-veiled hostility toward men and a shaky sense of sexual identity. The result is a touchiness reminiscent of hungover ferrets. There is a bandsaw edge to them, a watching for any slight so that they can show that they aren’t going to take it. They are poised to lash out in aggressive defense of their manhood.
As best as I can tell, they don’t like being women. Here is the entire problem in five words.
The Asians at the Spot show every indication that they do like being women. They do not seem to have anything to prove. Being happy with what they are allows them to be comfortable with what they are not – men. They are not competing to be what they can’t be with people who can’t be anything else. They don’t have to establish their masculinity because they don’t want it. They do not assume, as American women tend to, that femaleness is a diseased condition to be treated by male clothes, gutter language, and bad temper.
I’ve spent many dozens of hours chatting with the gals at the Spot, and never seen a sign of the chip. For a man, the experience is wonderful beyond description – smart, pretty, classy women, who are women, and are not the enemy. As long as American women carry the chip, the Asian gals will eat them alive in the dating market.
Note that the espousal of hostile obnoxiousness as a guiding philosophy appears to be an almost uniquely American horror. It certainly isn’t requisite to independence oe self-respect. I recently met a quite attractive blonde who, among other things, was smart, a long-haul motorcyclist, a student of the martial arts out of sheer athletic enjoyment of it, and an excellent marksman. She was also heterosexual, feminine, delightful company, and had no trace of “the chip.” I was astonished. How was this possible, I wondered?
She was Canadian.
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I absolutely agree about American woman having a “chip”, maybe its the Rosie or Hillary equation but also I agree American woman want to be more manly than other racial types. I am a middle aged white guy and have not really thought Asian woman were attractice but after reading this article and my experiance at dating I am willing to expand my horizon. I like an intelligent confident woman who is still feminine, sadly I don’t see much of it here anymore in quite a few years.
You’ve basically nailed it, Vet. I think it boils down to this: Asian — and, I would add, Latin American — women generally haven’t been spoiled by feminism or by the more cynical aspects of American culture. Among other things, American culture has a lot of aggressiveness and a lot of overstated individualism — a need to prove oneself. American women have always had more of this toughness than women in other cultures, including macho cultures. Faced with non-American, or not-typically-American, choices in recent years due to the breakdown of racial taboos, white men very often go for Asians and Latinas. Both love being woman and acting like women. Asian ladies, at least, also tend to be rather slender and are rarely awkward in their body language. Both Asian and Latin women are more likely than white women to have even features and attractive skin.
In this new world of interracial dating, the winners are Hispanics, blacks, and whites among men, and Asians, Hispanics, and whites among women. Black women and Asian men are screwed in terms of quality partners — unless they really have a lot going for them, or are lucky enough to be in love with what others would find to be a low-quality partner.
All in all, the breakdown of racial taboos in dating helps the best-looking, those with charisma or great social skills, and those with money. It doesn’t necessarily do much for the rest of us. All in all, the old “racist” rules may have been more fair in this respect. You don’t create equality by elminating racism. You just shift inequality into new channels. Racism is wrong, but anti-racism doesn’t always create optimal outcomes either.
I agree with that article you posted. I don’t have a preference for asian women over others, but I totally get it. Reminds me of a conversation I had with a friend years ago when he was going through a divorce. In every relationship, one person has to be the woman. A lot of American women don’t want to be the woman. For them, things seldom work out well. That’s not the only reason for divorce by a long shot. But it’s probably why we’ve had the big divorce rate in recent decades, it’s a big contributor. That “having a chip” thing is true. And a lot of American women seem more easily brainwashed by the leftist drivel pushed by college professors, which I think fuels a lot of their “anger” and attitudes. Some of them go into every situation with the expectation that whatever man they meet is going to be some evil bigot. That was already boring decades ago. At this point it’s insufferable.
That article produced a 1000+ post thread here a few years ago. You want to see some defensive women look it up.
Why White Men Prefer Asian Women
The View From A Sushi Bar
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Some excellent observations.
My own experience in Asia has led me to understand dating dynamics in Asian cultures are very nearly what American dating dynamics were in the late 1800’s.
Back just after the industrial revolution. Men worked. Women were quite feminine, and not embarrassed to be desired for being so. Marriage meant a real commitment.
You could walk on the streets of major American cities at night, without risk of urban gang drive-by shootings or random violent psychos.
Liberalism has consciously torn down all those old values.
Women think they should be ashamed of being beautiful, and of being desired. Both sexes think marriage is an arrangement, which can simply be walked away from if it doesn’t work out — so many don’t really do what is necessary to make it work out.
Welfare has built a social structure which reinforces anti-family behaviors.
Asia is still early in the industrial curve.
They have not allowed their societies to be rotted by counter-productive social experimentation, so most still adhere strongly to the most important social tenets.
Especially marriage and family.
Asian women are far from submissive, but most are fundamentally monogamous and traditional about commitment.
Finally, all Asians (men and women) take care of themselves much more carefully than most westerners.
Morning exercise. Holistic medicines. Herbs. Diets rich in vegetables and steamed rice. Rich histories of culinary traditions.
American society has much positive. But family values seem to have become a shrinking outpost of political identity. Family values in Asia, mean mainstream tradition.
Family values in America has come to mean almost exclusively, religious values.
Not that religious values are unimportant, but they’re not what is most important about family. Family values are important as a stand-alone pillar of a civil society.
America really needs to get back to valuing honesty, integrity and committment.
American women could do well to drive that dynamic. Instead of so fiercely working to be so much like American men.
Women are the ones honestly, who most efficiently could change American society back to traditional values. Because men will do what they can get away with.
Women allow men, to get away with far too much. Giving away what should be earned. Not realizing American feminism is profoundly devaluing American femininity itself.
Instead, too many seem almost fanatically determined to tear down those values they should be standing for.
With alarming success.
So much so, that the family is now almost a vanishing American institution. Driving our need for millions of illegal immigrants to work — simply to make up for the millions of American babies which are never born. Lives ended instead, at the end of a scalpel, in an abortion clinic.
Almost a million, every year.
Probably if American women do not take it upon themselves to rebuild our nation’s families, nobody will.
Except immigrants.
As they reshape America yet again.
I think you nailed it.
Another quality of Asian women is that they generally age well. My friend is married to a Chinese woman in her 50’s but looks 30-ish
I don’t blame you one bit for preferring Asian women.
They are more gracious, graceful, intelligent, humble, confident, diligent, disciplined and feminine.
That’s why my husband’s favorite eatery is a local Japanese restaurant.
The waitresses are always happy to see us and the food is consistently good.
I think he would’ve been much happier with an Asian wife.
Amercan women pale in comparison. It’s just a fact.