Posted on 03/26/2007 3:27:31 PM PDT by paltz
A cancer victim has accused his sister of condemning him to death by refusing to donate her bone marrow for a life-saving operation.
Father-of-three Simon Pretty is likely to die from leukaemia within months unless he receives a transplant.
His sister Helen, 43, is a perfect match but he says she has turned down the chance to save his life. Without the donation Mr Pretty – who has a rare tissue type – could be dead by the end of the year leaving his wife Jacqueline to raise their children Rebecca, eight, Jack, six and Benjamin, three.
he human resources manager from Mobberley, Cheshire, is receiving aggressive chemotherapy in an attempt to stay alive long enough to find another donor.
What a donor has to go through Doctors have said that to have the best chance of survival he must find a match by the end of the summer.
He has already exhausted the UK bone marrow register and doctors are looking for a match from strangers on international databases.
"I am on death row," said Mr Pretty. "I can’t believe that she would let my three children lose their father so unnecessarily by her actions.
Helen Pretty has declined to comment "We found a prayer in Rebecca’s coat which said: 'Please don’t let my daddy die from cancer'. That brought tears to my eyes."
Helen Pretty’s Cheshire home is less than ten miles away from the British Transplantation Society which campaigns to promote organ and bone marrow donation.
Her brother claims she agreed to be a donor after he was first diagnosed with the rare cancer, acute promyelocytic leukaemia, in July 2004. He went into remission but then suffered a relapse in February by which time she had changed her mind, he says.
The pair have never been close although their children are similar ages and play together.
Mr Pretty’s wife Jacqueline said: "It is appalling that Helen can stand by and watch her brother die knowing that she could do something to help him. The past few months have been hell."
Mrs Pretty approached her sister-in-law in an attempt to change her mind but lost her temper and was eventually arrested. No charge was brought.
Jacqueline Pretty said: "She opened the front door halfway and I told her that things were desperate and the children thought their daddy was going to die. She said 'Sorry, I am not doing it'. I asked her to give me a reason and she said 'I am putting my family first'.
"I explained that there were no risks involved. I was so upset and I said, 'Don’t you care if your brother dies?' She said 'It’s very sad', and smirked."
The family then received a letter from his sister’s solicitor asking them to keep their distance.
Parent governor Helen, 43, declined to comment yesterday.
She runs a private education business from her £380,00 home in Wilmslow, Cheshire, which she shares with her partner and her daughter, eight, and son, three.
Mr Pretty, who has two masters degrees, is studying for a PhD in industrial relations while being treated in hospital.
He said: "The treatment is tough and it is tortuous to go on with, especially as it would be unnecessary had she come forward. I have had a skin full of chemotherapy and all the side effects but I have a young family and I have to keep my spirits up for them."
Mr Pretty said he hoped that his plight would highlight the lack of bone marrow donors in the UK. He added: "Some people do not have a family member who is a match, even one who will not co-operate."
A spokesman for the Anthony Nolan Trust, which has a database of potential UK bone marrow donors, said: "About 30 per cent of patients could get a match from their own family – usually siblings.
"The chance of finding a match outside of family is very small and there are never enough donors."
A less than exact bone marrow match has a smaller chance of beating the cancer.
Trust chief executive Dr Steve McEwan added: "As with any medical procedure there are risks. However, we are not aware of long-term side effects of the process of donating bone marrow. Donors describe it as a very positive experience."
But not quite as cold, horrible, and senseless as letting one's brother, a husband and father of small children, die a senseless, horrible UNNECESSARY death.
I'd say the sister's got "cold, horrible, and senseless" down pat.
Just hard hearted and damn selfish!
My daughter is a cadet at the Air Force Academy......They all voluntarily donate blood for the troops on a regular basis....
However, a month ago the administration put through an unusual request for bone marrow donor volunteers.....she went through the testing and was a match for an 8 year old girl somewhere in the mid-west....
After Spring Break, she goes in for the procedure. From what she has been told the procedure is mildly painful but she believes it's worth it.
Shrug. It's her right.
I haven't spoken much to my younger sister since I was 10 years old, and haven't seen her in 3 years ever since I went to college.
25 years from now, I don't know if I would do this kind of surgery. I guess it depends on how close you are.
Methinks you are right.
There is not enough accurate information to make judgment on either party.
The important fact is that the sister MAY refuse. Leftists want to install a situation where she would be forced to donate, and it should be the goal of those on this board to prevent that from happening. The Evil sibling is less important than the Evil government.
That and the comment about the "smirk" kinda jumped out at me. Guess she doesn't like "breeders," including her own brother.
Laura Roberts and all those writing about Anna Nicole Smith and Mrs. Edwards and Spears every sneeze couldn't find real news to write about? This garbage is for or use to be for the Psssittttt level magazines. .
I read that as the patrner is female.
It is great to see that Everyone on this Thread has signed an Organ Donor Card.
I think you may be on to something here, because he sure does seem to feel entitled, doesn't he ? Even to the extent of going to the paper and spinning the story his way, instead of accepting her decision gracefully.
He was a big bully of a brother, I bet.
This one certainly is and to her brother.
Maybe because he isn't the vengeful and demented person that is his sister!
Evil?
I'd prefer to reserve that term for murderers, rapists, and company who willingly choose to cause harm.
There are really only three reasons the sister would not donate at this point,IMHO.
1.A contrived politically oriented reason:Use this situation to write new laws compelling forced organ/cell donations for best transplant matches.
2.Personal family reasons, that are none of our business, but reflect very badly on the brother.
3.Personal family reasons, that are none of our business, but reflect very badly on the sister.
Not enough information is available to decide which of the above three apply, at this point.
Donating boner marrow is not that big a deal. She'd have a little pain in her lower back for a few days and would regrow all her marrow in 4-6 weeks.
How about he and his wife show an inordinate sense of a ownership of her body and a lack of respect for her as a person. How about this public humiliation of the woman shows a brutal sense of entitlement to use her body.
If needed, would you accept a donated organ from a Lesbian?
perhaps her brother doesnt agree with her lifestyle choice and made that well known. or perhaps he has had some choice words about her partner. either way, if he's not a very nice person to her, i'd still give him the marrow and rub his nose in it for the rest of his life.
"bone" marrow
I'm looking forward to that in the next several years.....my SIL is a royal B....
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