I hope you get cancer and die!
Posted on 03/26/2007 3:27:31 PM PDT by paltz
A cancer victim has accused his sister of condemning him to death by refusing to donate her bone marrow for a life-saving operation.
Father-of-three Simon Pretty is likely to die from leukaemia within months unless he receives a transplant.
His sister Helen, 43, is a perfect match but he says she has turned down the chance to save his life. Without the donation Mr Pretty – who has a rare tissue type – could be dead by the end of the year leaving his wife Jacqueline to raise their children Rebecca, eight, Jack, six and Benjamin, three.
he human resources manager from Mobberley, Cheshire, is receiving aggressive chemotherapy in an attempt to stay alive long enough to find another donor.
What a donor has to go through Doctors have said that to have the best chance of survival he must find a match by the end of the summer.
He has already exhausted the UK bone marrow register and doctors are looking for a match from strangers on international databases.
"I am on death row," said Mr Pretty. "I can’t believe that she would let my three children lose their father so unnecessarily by her actions.
Helen Pretty has declined to comment "We found a prayer in Rebecca’s coat which said: 'Please don’t let my daddy die from cancer'. That brought tears to my eyes."
Helen Pretty’s Cheshire home is less than ten miles away from the British Transplantation Society which campaigns to promote organ and bone marrow donation.
Her brother claims she agreed to be a donor after he was first diagnosed with the rare cancer, acute promyelocytic leukaemia, in July 2004. He went into remission but then suffered a relapse in February by which time she had changed her mind, he says.
The pair have never been close although their children are similar ages and play together.
Mr Pretty’s wife Jacqueline said: "It is appalling that Helen can stand by and watch her brother die knowing that she could do something to help him. The past few months have been hell."
Mrs Pretty approached her sister-in-law in an attempt to change her mind but lost her temper and was eventually arrested. No charge was brought.
Jacqueline Pretty said: "She opened the front door halfway and I told her that things were desperate and the children thought their daddy was going to die. She said 'Sorry, I am not doing it'. I asked her to give me a reason and she said 'I am putting my family first'.
"I explained that there were no risks involved. I was so upset and I said, 'Don’t you care if your brother dies?' She said 'It’s very sad', and smirked."
The family then received a letter from his sister’s solicitor asking them to keep their distance.
Parent governor Helen, 43, declined to comment yesterday.
She runs a private education business from her £380,00 home in Wilmslow, Cheshire, which she shares with her partner and her daughter, eight, and son, three.
Mr Pretty, who has two masters degrees, is studying for a PhD in industrial relations while being treated in hospital.
He said: "The treatment is tough and it is tortuous to go on with, especially as it would be unnecessary had she come forward. I have had a skin full of chemotherapy and all the side effects but I have a young family and I have to keep my spirits up for them."
Mr Pretty said he hoped that his plight would highlight the lack of bone marrow donors in the UK. He added: "Some people do not have a family member who is a match, even one who will not co-operate."
A spokesman for the Anthony Nolan Trust, which has a database of potential UK bone marrow donors, said: "About 30 per cent of patients could get a match from their own family – usually siblings.
"The chance of finding a match outside of family is very small and there are never enough donors."
A less than exact bone marrow match has a smaller chance of beating the cancer.
Trust chief executive Dr Steve McEwan added: "As with any medical procedure there are risks. However, we are not aware of long-term side effects of the process of donating bone marrow. Donors describe it as a very positive experience."
Calling my sister right now to apologize for all those things I did when we were kids.
I think partner is a just a term there for who she is living with. I've seen it a lot lately, instead of husband.
Life BUMP for Simon Pretty, father of 3 in hopes of finding a donor.
What kind of comment is that? What a horrible, cold, senseless thing to say. Shame.
lol!
My brothers don't lurk on here but I'd give them my eyeballs if they needed them.
Well, one eyeball.
.-)
She may be but I don't think we have the whole story.
I've done an advanced care directive giving my brother the power to make medical decisions for me in the event I'm unable to do it for myself. I've VERY nice to my brother!
Nevertheless, I get this odd feeling that the follow-up to this story will be the promotion of some new legislation in the UK that legally requires one to donate such things as bone marrow, a kidney, or such to save the life of a sibling. Perhaps even a stranger.
Thank you. You are not entitled to someone else's body parts even if you are a saintly father of three and the propective donor is a worthless woman who lives in an expensive house.
I hope you get cancer and die!
There was a time when that was considered a thoughtful gift.
We never knew how resentful my sister in law was against my husband until my father in law died and left my husband as executor of his estate, and trustee of his trusts.
My sister in law severed direct communications and insisted that all communications go through her attorney. She objected to court accountings and denied receiving household effects and funds that she had received. Her complaints were unfounded, but it took a great deal of time and money to prove it.
Most of the estate went to the attorneys, who spent seven years answering her many many claims. She is still bitter and hateful toward him.
I've seen plenty of email warning about traveling to China lest you awaken in a tub of ice missing your kidney.
Sis would wake up in a country ditch missing her bone marrow. ;)
That is certainly true.
This woman is just hard and cold. If she weren't, how about, "I'm sorry, I would dearly love to help save your life, but it's not physicall [or whatever] possible."
I hope her business dries up and everyone in England knows how selfish and evil she is if she truly "won't" help.
Donating bone marrow is not without consequence. The pain is just the start. I know a donor that spent about 6 months fighting all sorts of issues, some of which was because of the anesthesia, others included ongoing pain and pneumonia that nearly killed him.
What a gold-plated bitch.
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