Posted on 03/26/2007 3:27:31 PM PDT by paltz
A cancer victim has accused his sister of condemning him to death by refusing to donate her bone marrow for a life-saving operation.
Father-of-three Simon Pretty is likely to die from leukaemia within months unless he receives a transplant.
His sister Helen, 43, is a perfect match but he says she has turned down the chance to save his life. Without the donation Mr Pretty – who has a rare tissue type – could be dead by the end of the year leaving his wife Jacqueline to raise their children Rebecca, eight, Jack, six and Benjamin, three.
he human resources manager from Mobberley, Cheshire, is receiving aggressive chemotherapy in an attempt to stay alive long enough to find another donor.
What a donor has to go through Doctors have said that to have the best chance of survival he must find a match by the end of the summer.
He has already exhausted the UK bone marrow register and doctors are looking for a match from strangers on international databases.
"I am on death row," said Mr Pretty. "I can’t believe that she would let my three children lose their father so unnecessarily by her actions.
Helen Pretty has declined to comment "We found a prayer in Rebecca’s coat which said: 'Please don’t let my daddy die from cancer'. That brought tears to my eyes."
Helen Pretty’s Cheshire home is less than ten miles away from the British Transplantation Society which campaigns to promote organ and bone marrow donation.
Her brother claims she agreed to be a donor after he was first diagnosed with the rare cancer, acute promyelocytic leukaemia, in July 2004. He went into remission but then suffered a relapse in February by which time she had changed her mind, he says.
The pair have never been close although their children are similar ages and play together.
Mr Pretty’s wife Jacqueline said: "It is appalling that Helen can stand by and watch her brother die knowing that she could do something to help him. The past few months have been hell."
Mrs Pretty approached her sister-in-law in an attempt to change her mind but lost her temper and was eventually arrested. No charge was brought.
Jacqueline Pretty said: "She opened the front door halfway and I told her that things were desperate and the children thought their daddy was going to die. She said 'Sorry, I am not doing it'. I asked her to give me a reason and she said 'I am putting my family first'.
"I explained that there were no risks involved. I was so upset and I said, 'Don’t you care if your brother dies?' She said 'It’s very sad', and smirked."
The family then received a letter from his sister’s solicitor asking them to keep their distance.
Parent governor Helen, 43, declined to comment yesterday.
She runs a private education business from her £380,00 home in Wilmslow, Cheshire, which she shares with her partner and her daughter, eight, and son, three.
Mr Pretty, who has two masters degrees, is studying for a PhD in industrial relations while being treated in hospital.
He said: "The treatment is tough and it is tortuous to go on with, especially as it would be unnecessary had she come forward. I have had a skin full of chemotherapy and all the side effects but I have a young family and I have to keep my spirits up for them."
Mr Pretty said he hoped that his plight would highlight the lack of bone marrow donors in the UK. He added: "Some people do not have a family member who is a match, even one who will not co-operate."
A spokesman for the Anthony Nolan Trust, which has a database of potential UK bone marrow donors, said: "About 30 per cent of patients could get a match from their own family – usually siblings.
"The chance of finding a match outside of family is very small and there are never enough donors."
A less than exact bone marrow match has a smaller chance of beating the cancer.
Trust chief executive Dr Steve McEwan added: "As with any medical procedure there are risks. However, we are not aware of long-term side effects of the process of donating bone marrow. Donors describe it as a very positive experience."
OK, you're better than I am.
:-)
I don't know the whole story; yet I think the brother's a jerk.
I thought they scraped it out of your pelvis or something like that.
Still, for anyone who asked, even my sisters, I'd do it without hesitation. They lurk here.
"I think there is more to this story then is being told.'
Could be that she has something like AIDs and doesn't want to admit it.
You'd lose that bet. Sorry about your family situation; here's hoping you can get it resolved.
But I know this, when hatred exists within families, there is usually a damn good reason.
She is under no obligation to risk her own life or health.
I have donated bone marrow twice. Both times to the same patient, although I do not know who he is. I know he was 19 the first time, and 22 the second time. There was no general anesthesia, just a local. I had a little pain for about 24 hours after the procedure. They gave me some good drugs though. Then for about 2 weeks, if I turned the wrong way or stood up too fast, I would have a little pain. that was it. Piece of cake. It also feels really good to do something that has the potential to help someone. I highly recommend that everyone get put on a bone marrow donation registry and donate if given the opportunity. It is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done.
The reason I see him as a jerk is because he is the one putting this story out there. I can think of no other reason for him to do this than to put the screws to his sister.
Maybe he is about to die and is scared out of his wits?
I can understand that but she said no. He can't make her do it.
Where I come from, even that would be no fair reason to publish this about his sister. What CAN he accomplish from this? She's not going to be MORE likely to undergo the procedure for him NOW.
Another side of the argument that 'equal justice' means you enforce the laws - not that justice must result from the enforcement.
And I don't want any laws telling me what I must do in a situation such as this.
I don't know what you mean by "Live For Ever" stuff. As far as I know, no one lives for ever. I don't have a problem with life saving medical treatment and I am a firm believer that when it is our time to go, God will take us. So when the life saving treatment doesn't work, it's your time to go.
God bless your Daughter. She sounds like a special young woman.
My younger brother was just diagnosed with Stage 4 Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. Not in his organs, but it is in his bone marrow. He working on his first round of chemo.
If and when the time comes that a bone marrow transplant is an option both myself and my sister have already told him he doesn't even need to ask.
Seriously, I cannot imagine not doing whatever you could to help.
I think that might have been touched on in the write up but then that's just me.
If he is a monster, he should live to stand trial so, either way, saving his life makes sense.
As to his monster sister, I think I am being generous in calling her a sociopath, heartless f@#$ing bitch is more like it. Remember, she initially agreed to donate so he couldn't be that bad.
I sure have, what the heck are you going to do with them after you're dead?
I don't.
I'm going to guess that if push comes to shove and your unliked family member is about to die, that you would donate.
Just a guess, that's all.
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