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A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day....03-22-07...A Finest Pet Humor Day
gizmo, rusty

Posted on 03/22/2007 8:27:18 AM PDT by dutchess



A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day
Free Republic made its debut in September, 1996, and the forum was added in early 1997.   Over 100,000 people have registered for posting privileges on Free Republic, and the forum is read daily by tens of thousands of concerned citizens and patriots from all around the country and the world.
A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day was introduced on June 24, 2002. It's only a small room in JimRob's house where we can get to know one another a little better; salute and support our military and our leaders; pray for those in need; and congratulate those deserving. We strive to keep our threads entertaining, fun, and pleasing to look at, and often have guest writers contribute an essay, or a profile of another FReeper.
On Mondays please visit us to see photos of A FEW OF FR'S VETERANS AND ACTIVE MILITARY
If you have a suggestion, or an idea, or if there's a FReeper you would like to see featured, please drop one of us a note in FR mail.
We're having fun and hope you are!

~ Billie, Dutchess, DollyCali, GodBlessUSA , Aquamarine ~





Welcome Finest Friends. It's Thursday at the Finest and JohnHuang2 is taking a well deserved vacation so we've revived Freeper Pet Joke Day! Feel free to add your own pet humor (or a picture of your furry friends!) ENJOY!







A LITTLE PET HUMOR




Seeing eye dogs?
There were two buddies one with a German Shepherd and the other with a Chihuahua. The guy with the German Shepherd says to his friend, "Let's go over to that restaurant and get something to eat." The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us." The buddy with the German Shepherd says, "Just follow my lead."
They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the German Shepherd puts on a pair of dark glasses, and he starts to walk in. The bouncer at the door says, "Sorry, man, no pets allowed." The man with the German Shepherd says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog." The man at the door says, "Come on in."
The buddy with the Chihuahua figures, "What the heck," so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in. Once again the bouncer says, "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed." The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog." The bouncer at the door says, "A Chihuahua?" The man with the Chihuahua says, "A Chihuahua??? You mean to tell me, that they gave me a Chihuahua?!"





The Blonde & The K-9 Patrol Dispatch
The police department, famous for its superior K-9 unit, was somewhat taken aback by a recent incident. Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first on the scene.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, clapped a hand to her head and moaned, "I come home from work to find all my possessions stolen, I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send a BLIND policeman!"



Have a great day...and keep smiling!!!!!






01-09-07 ~ Hall of Fame #18

THIS WEEK'S THREADS

03-19-07 Military Monday

03-20-07 Yay, It's Spring

03/21/07 Warm Fuzzy Wednesday

Opinions by our own 'King of Ping'
Every Thursday at the Finest
The guy's good, folks!


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Miscellaneous; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: freepers; fun; patriotic; surprises
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1 posted on 03/22/2007 8:27:22 AM PDT by dutchess
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To: ST.LOUIE1; Billie; DollyCali; GodBlessUSA; JustAmy; Mama_Bear; The Mayor; Aquamarine; deadhead; ...
A Finest Day Pet humor Ping! Feel free to add your own "fuzzy jokes" OR the obligatory "show off your fuzzy friends" pictures!!!! ENJOY!

2 posted on 03/22/2007 8:29:36 AM PDT by dutchess
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To: dutchess

Pet Diaries:

Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:

8:00am Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30am A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40am walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00pm Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00pm Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00pm Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00pm Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00pm Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00pm Wow! Watched TV with my master! My favorite thing!

11:00pm Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:

Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and myself are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The
audacity! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.

I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released --and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded! The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe....... For now....


3 posted on 03/22/2007 8:33:55 AM PDT by Bob Buchholz
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To: dutchess
If I knew how to post a picture I would post one of our "babies." We have a Lhaasa Apso and a rat terrior, both of whom were strays. We just love them, and I don't know what we'd do without them.

Carolyn

4 posted on 03/22/2007 8:34:14 AM PDT by CDHart ("It's too late to work within the system and too early to shoot the b@#$%^&s."--Claire Wolfe)
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To: The Mayor; MEG33

Did an "oopsie" and re-did the thread. Would appreciate you reposting the devotional rus!


5 posted on 03/22/2007 8:38:23 AM PDT by dutchess
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To: CDHart

I'll freepmail my email if you want to send the pictures. Will be computer impaired though until around 4:00 (hate when work interferes with freeping :o)


6 posted on 03/22/2007 8:39:49 AM PDT by dutchess
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To: dutchess
Nice idea for a post, and you said we could post pix of our fur friends, so here goes:

Introducing Magnificent Max (+ grandchild). Max was adopted through Golden Retriever Rescue of Wisconsin (G.R.R.O.W.) in 2002. He had been found running as an undisciplined stray, and this wonderful organization took him in, got his shots and a health exam, had him neutered, and placed him with me-- for a fee, of course. We took him to dog trainig (partof the contract) and now he is our office and all the time dog. He has traveled coast to coast and is a wonderful companion. Max has appeared in Bush parades, but he hasn't FReeped the White House. He figures there is no need with Barney in charge.

7 posted on 03/22/2007 8:41:00 AM PDT by afraidfortherepublic
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To: All


God Bless Our Military

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Below are names of some of our FReepers' loved ones who are serving our country. If you have someone you would like to add, please address a post to Billie; Aquamarine; Dutchess, The Mayor, DollyCali or GodBlessUSA and we will add their name to this list. As we pray for them, we pray also for all our nation’s leaders, and military personnel, and their families and friends. May God hold them close to His heart.
~~~~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~~~


We ask Lord, that You guide the leaders of our great country in their hour of decision. The burden that has been placed on their shoulders is overwhelming. We ask that with Your infinite wisdom You guide them gently to the right decisions.

Please give us the strength, Lord, to get through each difficult and devastating day that faces each of us and our country. Protect and guide our Military that are now being called to duty, strengthen them in their trials and temptations; give them courage to face the perils which beset them; and grant them a sense of your abiding presence wherever they may be; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

gator girl........................husband
severa............husband, brother
Maigrey.........................cousin
mystery-ak...........son, husband
Inspectorette.......................son
Blessed American..........nephew
Slip18..........................nephew
Diver Dave........niece, nephew
ConspiracyGuy........2 nephews
AnnaofDC......niece's husband
sneakers..........................son
weldgophardline.................son
weldgophardline.....brotherinlaw
jamaly.................brotherinlaw
Future Snake Eater.......cousin
WaterDragon............grandson
WaterDragon...........son-in-law
kimmie7......................brother
LadyX (RIP)..............grandson
fawn796......................nephew
ValerieUSA..................2 sons
Lakeside......................2 sons
LakeLady....................nephew
Spruce......................daughter
Bykrbayb..........................son
Leofl.................................son
chena...............................son
Hope and Glory..................son
DebWisconsin.............nephews
TheMayor...............friends'son
Doug from Upland.......soninlaw
homeschoolmama........nephew
ariamne...................2 cousins
mhking.........................cousin
911angelady.................2 sons
Consort.................2 daughters
Consort...................son-in-law
gonzo...................friend's son
cookcounty......................son
JFC............................nephew
visualops......................cousin
auboy..........................cousin
painter........................nephew
jrushing.............................son
LoneRedRanger...brother-in-law
Ladysmith.nephew, friend's son
tina07......soninlaw & his friend
MontanaCowgirlCop......brother
nelibeli........................nephew
Misty4jc.....................husband
Colorado Slim..............nephew
Tapatio....................2 nephews
ProudAFDad......................son
Alouette.............................son
Katydidnt...........................son
Zechariah_8_13....brother-in-law
Zechariah_8_13.............cousin
PreviouslyA-Lurker........brother
sheeza.......................husband
kemathen7..................husband
Q6-God..................twin brother
Q6-God....................active duty
Warrior Nurse...........active duty
SK1 Thurman...........active duty
David Osborne..........active duty
fc2tomschermuly......active duty
bkwells....................active duty
LongCut...................active duty
cjk...........................active duty
Trish........................active duty
ODC-GIRL................active duty
AF_Blue...................active duty
thumperusn..............active duty
Veloxherc.................active duty
Don Simmons...........active duty
wingnutx...................active duty
CGblue.....................active duty
bigghurtt...................active duty
frankiep....................active duty
veeceeque................active duty
JRios1968................active duty
NoLongerFreeState...active duty
CMS........................active duty
AlaskaErik...............active duty
JemiansTerror...........active duty
tongue-tied ..............active duty
txradioguy................active duty
Hoosiersailor.........active duty
OhioWfan................................son
ladtx..................................2 sons
Its_me_K.E.T.........................son
Hostel............................cousin
MozartLover...........son, nephew
ak_daddoo........................nephew
Dubya............................nephew
LBGA (RIP)..........................son
katykelly..............................son
Armymarinemom................3 sons
american_ranger.....................son
Himyar....................................son
SpookBrat........................nephew
SpookBrat........................cousin
boxerblues........................2 sons
the piper..............................son
Tiffee4Bob......................boyfriend
TexKat.......................son, step-son
StarCMC.............................brother
Darheel...............................niece
Donaeus...........................nephew
BeAllYouCanBe........................son
Repubmommy........................brother
AgThorn................................2 sons
kneezles.................................son
RoseinRoseBear.....cousin's hubby
Atomic Conspiracy......half-brother
Atomic Conspiracy...........nephew
Atomic Conspiracy..............niece
Sunflowergal....................grandson
mrstank..............................husband
MrsMike31........................husband
spotbust1............................husband
campfollower............................fiance
LUV W........................................son
SilentServiceCPOWife........husband
DirtyHarryY2K......................daughter
DirtyHarryY2K................son-in-law
Skimask.....................................son
Palladin...............................grandson
MississippyMuddy...................sister
MississippyMuddy........2 nephews
Kramster...............................stepson
Socratic.............................nephew
freema.......................nephew, son
Azbushgal..............................son
kimmykay.................................son
NavySEAL F-16........................son
repubmom...............................son
wolfcreek..........................daughter
JesseJane ...........................cousin
Roses0508..............................son
pmmd81..................................son
GodBlessUSA......................cousin
SoldiersPrayingMom.................son
WakeUpandVote..................brother
Skyraider.................................son
CyberAnt...........................nephew
mrs tiggywinkle...................cousin
Jen's Mom........................daughter
Meg33.............................grandson
Nadine...............................nephew
U S Army EOD.................daughter
thehumanlynx...........brother-in-law
Earthdweller......................nephew
Scubachick.......................husband
ChairmanDec19thSociety ..brotherinlaw
Anthem............................2 cousins
meanie monster .........family friend
PragmaticWarrior..........2 nephews
Sageb1...........................3 cousins
JulieRNR21.........friend's grandson
SuzyQue...mom,2 sons,3 brothers
weeder1...........................nephew
GulfWar1Vet.......two cousins
IndyPendance..daughter,soninlaw
fatima.....................granddaughter
Lori from Long Island....soninlaw
monkeyface...................grandson
redhead...................grandnephew
gonzo............................soninlaw
varina davis...................grandson
Rivendell.......................daughter
W.W.Smith...........................son
vigilante2.....son, adopted soldier
NavySEAL F-16....................son
Jaxter...........................son-in-law
USMCWife6869..............husband
jackv...............................son
TINA KIRBY....................son



8 posted on 03/22/2007 8:41:18 AM PDT by dutchess
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To: Bob Buchholz

Very cute!!! LOL! Thanks for sharing!


9 posted on 03/22/2007 8:41:56 AM PDT by dutchess
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To: dutchess

Our cat Gateway (she reminds me of the black and white boxes Gateway comes are packaged in) is a math whiz.......she is excellent at multiplication.

Now if we could only get her to teach her offspring the basics of highway safety, our daughter would not keep getting new lessons in subtraction.


10 posted on 03/22/2007 8:43:08 AM PDT by Gabz (I like mine with lettuce and tomato, heinz57 and french-fried potatoes)
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To: dutchess

Mine said the religion moderator had it pulled it or was I misreading?..I sent an inquiry..knowing that cxould not be true..LOL..I will be back!


11 posted on 03/22/2007 8:44:27 AM PDT by MEG33 (GOD BLESS OUR ARMED FORCES.)
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To: Bob Buchholz

APPLAUSE!!!!!

When I took my daughter to school this morning, I made the mistake of leaving my bedroom door ajar. The dog didn't even BOTHER to greet me on my return, she still remains ensconced on the bed - at least she has enough sense to use my husband's pillow :)


12 posted on 03/22/2007 8:46:40 AM PDT by Gabz (I like mine with lettuce and tomato, heinz57 and french-fried potatoes)
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To: afraidfortherepublic

Magnificent Max is beautiful and what a heartwarming story (grandbaby is prettycute too :o) ) Both rusty and giz were strays also and are the joys of our life. Thanks for sharing!


13 posted on 03/22/2007 8:47:36 AM PDT by dutchess
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To: MEG33; Billie

I asked that it be pulled. One of the jokes was a little offensive to a freeper via freepmail. (I had second thought before I posted...and should have trusted my original thoughts) Think this is better :o)


14 posted on 03/22/2007 8:50:22 AM PDT by dutchess
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To: Gabz

Hey. Great to see you. Would love to see a picture of "Gateway". What a great name :o)


15 posted on 03/22/2007 8:51:23 AM PDT by dutchess
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To: All

Sawsha

16 posted on 03/22/2007 8:54:58 AM PDT by Kewlhand`tek (When you take things in backwards, everything comes out backwards.---Savage)
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To: dutchess; The Mayor; DollyCali; ST.LOUIE1; Aquamarine; Mama_Bear; Billie; Allegra; lonestar; ...


 
How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?


2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.


3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!


4. Rottweiler: Make me.


5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.


6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!


7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.


8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.


9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!


10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.


11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or "We don't need no stinking light bulb."


12. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?


13. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...


14. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

How many cats does it take to change a light bulb?

Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is:


"How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"

ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF!


17 posted on 03/22/2007 8:55:06 AM PDT by MEG33 (GOD BLESS OUR ARMED FORCES.)
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To: dutchess

Gateway is a really weird cat, she is totally antisocial, I don't think I have any pictures of her at all.. Her bother, Possum, OTOH is a piece of work..........he follows my husband around like a puppy dog. Knows exactly when my husband is pulling into the driveway and is waiting at the car door before he gets out - no matter what hubby is driving.


18 posted on 03/22/2007 8:57:22 AM PDT by Gabz (I like mine with lettuce and tomato, heinz57 and french-fried potatoes)
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To: dutchess
Thanks, but I'm at work too and don't have a scanner!

carolyn

19 posted on 03/22/2007 9:01:29 AM PDT by CDHart ("It's too late to work within the system and too early to shoot the b@#$%^&s."--Claire Wolfe)
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To: Kewlhand`tek

What magnificent coloring! A real beauty.


20 posted on 03/22/2007 9:03:08 AM PDT by Gabz (I like mine with lettuce and tomato, heinz57 and french-fried potatoes)
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