Posted on 02/18/2007 6:36:04 AM PST by Bean Counter
It is well known that Washington state and Oregon are “blue”, politically speaking. It’s also quite evident that people in these two states love their dogs. These two fact are not mutually exclusive and in fact are related.
It’s hard to go anywhere around here and not notice a preponderance of dogs. For the most part, they’re well-behaved, happy and fully engaged with their owners and with each other.
On the other hand, the few cats that inhabit this area are either indoors, hiding from all of the dogs, or slithering around outdoors, answering their instincts as feral varmints.
When these two types of pets are placed on the political continuum, it becomes clear that dogs are Democrats and cats are Republicans.
As liberals, dogs believe it takes a village, and every dog wants to be a romping, slobbering, “I love you, so much” part of that village. Dogs love interacting with other creatures, especially humans. If you throw a stick or a tennis ball, a good dog will fetch it and be happy about it. A great dog will even make a big production out of fetching a Frisbee, executing an airborne pirouette.
The last time I threw a stick for a cat to fetch, the cat looked at me as if to say, “If you weren’t so immersed in your pathetic, cradle-to-grave dependence on others, you’d fetch that stupid stick yourself. Don’t you believe in personal responsibility?” I feel so intimidated.
Dogs have a trait that is typical among Democrats; a sense of humor that is superior to the conservative cat’s. It’s kind of like the difference between Jon Stewart, all goofy and yukking it up and interrupting people, and Bill O’Reilly, all loud and irate and interrupting people.
You can easily tell when a dog is having a good time. Next time you drive by the off-leash dog park at the BPA Ross Complex in Hazel Dell, stop and watch these dogs. They’re in canine heaven. They love their “bark park”, and they know that if a dog misbehaves, that dog is banished from all the fun. You’ll see all types of dogs at the off-leash park. What you won’t see are cats. There is no such thing as a “meow park”.
Cats prefer rugged individualism
A dog has the same innate Democratic desire to help others in need. He can become more than just the best friend of a person who has no vision. He becomes that person’s eyes, even the guardian.
Cats, as conservatives, embrace the doctrine of rugged individualism. They believe that people who are in need should stop mooching off others and simply pull themselves up by their own bootstraps. That'’ why there’s no such thing as a seeing eye cat.
As liberals, dogs support mass transit. They know the wisdom of traveling as a group, even if it means 12 to16 dogs taking two weeks to run 1,150 miles across a winter wilderness. Anchorage to Nome in early March? Piece of cake. Iditarod sled dogs laugh the whole way.
But you will never see a sled cat.
Blue state folks place a much higher value on their Democratic dogs than on their Republican cats. In the Columbian’s classified ads last Sunday, there were 32 ads for dogs, most costing hundreds of dollars each, up to $650 for one 9-week old Doberman. Sadly, there was only one ad for a cat for sale, and for a pittance: just 20 bucks. Have you ever seen a 20-dollar cat? It’s not very pretty.
In the “Lost” section of those classified ads, there were four ads for lost cats, but not a single ad for a lost dog. Explanation: Cats, like Pat Buchannan, are isolationists. Dogs, though, readily make allies and keep those coalitions willing. Dogs are pace-bound. They love their homes, they know they can’t solve their problems by alienating allies.
Like most Democrats, dogs are well suited for the public spotlight. A bunch of real Barack Obama's they are, usually with fun names like Buster, Bubba, or Lucky. At a dog show, those critters are sprinting happily, trying to impress the judges. At a cat show, the entrants – with elitist names like Princess, Cleopatra, or Hermione – don’t do a thing. They just sit there, as angry as Ann Coulter. The only way judges can stimulate any response is to torment the cats by dangling ribbons in their faces.
I suppose there are places where cats matter. That 2004 presidential election map that the GOP loves to flash is awash in red states. But around these parts, it’s quite obvious: you’ll only see a dog – never a cat – named Old Blue.
John Laird is the Columbian’s editorial page editor. His column of personal opinion appears on the View page each Sunday. Reach him at jonh.laird@columbian.com
Updating with a link to the online article.
http://columbian.com/opinion/news/02182007news105746.cfm
You are entirely correct, and I'll add another thing. O'Reilly at the end of his show post e-mails from irate viewers who regularly skewer the host. Many times O'Reilly does not even comment and simply lets the derogatory viewer words stand. Does Stewart (or Matthews or the other lib jugheads) do the same thing? As pompous as O'Reilly is at times, he does laugh at himself.
It has been my observation that everyone I know who is a Democrat believes one hundred percent of everything that comes out of the mouths of Dem politicians and Big Media. They will easily believe the most unbelievable lies told them. Maybe that's why they're Dems.
Guess it's the kind of dog that determines political affiliation.
IMHO poodles are Democrats. They're kind of effeminate. (rimshot)
OTOH, Rottweilers, Dobermans, German shepherds, etc.....you get my drift.
Our ACD definitely believes in a higher power. Our daschund on the other hand....
But most left wingers I know really take a dislike to rotties especially -- they're too violent and macho. Doesn't bug me one bit.
I thought that cats are the Republicans. Oh well.
I respect that in an animal... :)
Uh........no, you moron. Democrats are jackasses. They even put it on their logo to symbolize the Democrat Party. I must say, that I believe them too. LOL!
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