Mine was not loss due to death, but loss due to abandonment. Some argue the latter is worse, because at least when you bury the loved one, you can hold them dear to your heart knowing that they're in a better place and you'll meet again one day. What do you do when the person who promised you they'd never leave, runs away without even having the courtesy to tell you so ? The injustice of that is unbearable.
Forgive me, I don't wish to sound like I'm diminishing your loss. Two different losses, but horrible, nonetheless.
"Two different losses"
You're right. Every day all I can think is that I'll see my beloved again some day. But I do know the other kind: a former girlfriend who waited until I was in Vietnam to cut me off with never a letter.
Rules of thumb: it normally takes guys a lot longer to recover than gals. Some injuries, like that of the fabled Fisher King, can never be completely healed in this life. Some prayer requests, like Paul's triple petition to be relieved of his "thorn in the flesh," get an answer of "No," with or without an explanation. After all, "we walk by faith, not by sight."
A guy I know bonded with a beautiful, brilliant, and bilingual girl who he assumed was the answer to his prayers. When she was unable to join him in his life of "ministry," (a high-demand protestant monestary/street mission), the rupture precipitated a major crisis of faith and decades of lingering resentment towards God and agents of His who failed to deliver on perceived promises. On the other hand, he found a plain but good woman who snuck in under his radar by virtue of her quiet good character. A friendship began that has endured more than 30 years now. (29th anniversary approaching) She won my heart, even though she knew she could never replace that first great passion, and was content with what I had left over to offer.
There's a lot to be said for kindness, respect, and integrity for building a truly intimate joint soul. Marrying her was the sanest thing I ever did, and the craziest, most romantic thing she ever did.
(parenthetically, I later learned The One had already been engaged five times before I came along. Engaged in quite a bit, apparently!)
I'm very sorry for your loss. However it happens, it's painful.