Posted on 01/09/2007 12:21:16 PM PST by Paddlefish
About one in three parents in the United States and Canada do not think their methods of disciplining their children work well, according to a U.S. study.
Dr. Shari Barkin, at Tennessee's Monroe Carell Jr. Children's Hospital at Vanderbilt found 31 percent of about 5,000 parents surveyed said they 'never' or 'sometimes' perceived their methods to be effective.
Many of those reported turning into their own parents when it came to discipline, with 38 percent using the same methods their own parents used on them as children.
'It was surprising to see how many parents feel that disciplining their children is ineffective,' Barkin said in a telephone interview.
'Many are using the same techniques their parents used on them but don't think they really work.'
The study, based on a survey of parents through community based doctors in 32 U.S. states, Puerto Rico and Canada, found the most common form of discipline was using time-outs, with 45 percent of parents using this method.
It found 41.5 percent of parents removed privileges, while 13 percent reported yelling at their children, and 8.5 percent reported the use of spanking 'often or always.'
'But we strongly suspect that both yelling and spanking might be underreported,' said Barkin, whose study is published in the January issue of the journal Clinical Pediatrics.
'We know when parents perceive their methods are not working. As a third reported, then emotions can quickly escalate.'
She said by the time children reached the six to 11-year-old age range, parents were about 25 percent less likely to report using time-outs and spanking as they were with younger children.
When children reached school age, parents reported a heavier use of taking away privileges and yelling.
But even in the older age range, perception that the discipline might not be working persisted.
(Excerpt) Read more at lifestyle.monstersandcritics.com ...
Woman in grocery store to young son, "We really really need to sit down in the grocery cart, OK ?" 3 yo ignores the wishy-washy tone and continues to use the grocery cart and shelves as a jungle gym. Mom sighs and doesn't follow up.
Grrrr !
News Flash--because of Liberal BS, if you spank your child today, "child protective services" arrives at your door and threatens you. Believe it! We're living in the Liberal Twilight Zone of Insanity with Nancy Pelosi as the head witch.
Thanks so much for the compliment not only to me but to my parents as well.
That's because it often takes years to show. Our society wants quick fixes. First of all, you can't "fix" people and second, discipline, along with many other things, helps direct a young person over many, many years and situations. To expect to see immediate change is not understanding parenthood.
I have seen so many parents tell their children to stop doing something and then do NOTHING to follow up when the kids keep right on doing what they were told not to do. If you tell a child to stop doing something, you MUST be prepared to get up out of your chair and take hold of him or her and physically stop the forbidden activity. If you say stop and follow up, the message is clear. If you say stop and then do nothing, the message is also clear.
My child spent half of her childhood with only me in the home. She was also the best behaved child on our block. And all the other kids came from two-parent homes. An only parent, even a mother, CAN effectively parent and discipline. And I had a very difficult child.
Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child
Corporal punishment is often used in our home with our two boys. Sometimes, they just don't get it from just "time outs" and need to be spanked on the behind.
My parents used the same discipline on me and I thank them for taking the time and effort to be consistent and loving in their discipline.
As they say in the 'hood "you ain't got no home trainin'."
yelling gives them that extra couple seconds to think about what they did while they wait for the spanking to come.
c'mon up to MI. corporal punishment is accepted, as long as its not excessive (bleeding, broken ones, extreme bruising).
Consistency is key.
I totally agree. We get comments on how well behaved our children are all the time. Our in-laws couldn't believe that our children sat still in church. (these are the ones whose boy tossed a restaraunt buffet salad with his hands and sat on the dining tables when we went out to eat). You have to have your kids in line by aged 5 or you will never have control of them. (that is my theory). And you have to do whatever you threaten them with or they won't respect you.
If you're a bad pet owner, don't have children.
If you're a bad parent, don't own pets.
Amazingly enough, consistent training techniques, with both appropriate positive and negative reinforcement, used for dogs and puppies, works equally well with children.
Like my dad tole me...
"Sometime before your kid gets to be two years old, beat him within an inch of his life with a chain. From then on, all you'll have to do is rattle it."
:)
So she was "best behaved" and "difficult"?
The only discipline studies was 'quiet time!' How effective is a sharp slap? We're now into the third generation of undisciplined kids and surprise, surprise! they're totally out of control, particularly self-control with nude parties, unanimous cheating, rampant robbery, not to mention their being unable to open their mouths without obscenities. Thanks, 'RATs for robbing our children of not only learning, self-control, but also happiness. The only thing going for them is self-esteem and that makes them unbearable!
The only discipline studied was 'quiet time!' How effective is a sharp slap? We're now into the third generation of undisciplined kids and surprise, surprise! they're totally out of control, particularly self-control with nude parties, unanimous cheating, rampant robbery, not to mention their being unable to open their mouths without obscenities. Thanks, 'RATs for robbing our children of not only learning, self-control, but also happiness. The only thing going for them is self-esteem and that makes them unbearable!
Also agree. It is not the easy road to have continuity with your rules but it is very worth it. You cannot be a lazy parent and expect your kids to make you proud with their behavior. :o)
Ya think this might not work?
Works with a lot of kids...when there's another level of enforcement coming if that one doesn't. Some parents don't appropriately use it, and there are indeed some kids that just won't "get it". Some few kids NEED to be spanked to get the emphasis.
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