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Polar Bears "Dropping Like Flies" From Heat Exhaustion
ecoenquirer.com ^
| July, 2006
| Ecoenquirer
Posted on 12/27/2006 5:30:24 PM PST by dynachrome
Hunter Jeremiah Johnson comforts a polar bear that had collapsed from heat exhaustion before he could shoot it.
(Excerpt) Read more at ecoenquirer.com ...
TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons; US: Alaska
KEYWORDS: absolutelyabsurd; bears; believewhatyousee; environment; fake; globalwarming; parody
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To: dynachrome
Quotes from the linked article:
"Average annual temperatures in the area have risen from 20 degrees below zero to 15 below zero in the last 30 years, and these giant creatures simply can not withstand the excess heat."
And:
"Dr. Slander recounted a recent incident in which a polar bear attacked a local homeless man, and had devoured only a small part of the man's body before collapsing from exhaustion."
41
posted on
12/27/2006 5:51:51 PM PST
by
HereInTheHeartland
(Never bring a knife to a gun fight, or a Democrat to do serious work...)
To: wbill
42
posted on
12/27/2006 5:54:27 PM PST
by
irishtenor
(Save the whales. Collect the whole set.)
To: dynachrome
Sorry for the 3rd post on this, I just noticed that I got scammed!!!
Funny stuff!!
43
posted on
12/27/2006 5:54:35 PM PST
by
HereInTheHeartland
(Never bring a knife to a gun fight, or a Democrat to do serious work...)
To: bboop
It is clearly a satirical post. The whole site is one big parody of eco nonsense.
44
posted on
12/27/2006 5:56:24 PM PST
by
Soliton
(Alone with everyone else.)
To: dynachrome
"It just isn't sporting to shoot one of these creatures when they are suffering like this", Johnson said as he recounted his attempts to revive a bear he was ready to shoot. So once it's revived, then he can shoot it with a clear conscience? /bang head on desk
45
posted on
12/27/2006 5:57:02 PM PST
by
metmom
(Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
To: dynachrome
Seems bogus to me. We had a polar bear living in our local zoo for years, and there was only snow during a couple of months of the year. His pool was cool, as all pools in MA are, but the rest of the time, he was out in the regular zoo in the Central Mass. climate. If he didn't drop from heat exhaustion, why would these polar bears sitting in continual snow covered areas be doing so?
46
posted on
12/27/2006 5:57:53 PM PST
by
SuziQ
To: metmom
Don't fall for it, this is a parody.
47
posted on
12/27/2006 5:57:56 PM PST
by
eastforker
(.308 SOCOM 16, hottest brand going.2350 FPS muzlim velocity)
To: Dallas59
"Jap Polar Bear"
Poor kid is scarred for life. LOL
48
posted on
12/27/2006 5:58:04 PM PST
by
dynachrome
("Where am I? Where am I going? Why am I in a handbasket?")
To: Fawn
"What beautiful animals.....why kill it....jeez..."
'Cause it's made out of meat and a really warm fur rug.
To: dynachrome
Maybe this tragedy will finally get the UN to donate polyester winter coats for the polar bears to wear...instead of those horrible animal fur coats!
50
posted on
12/27/2006 5:58:41 PM PST
by
mrsmith
To: dynachrome
That's a load of crap for that picture. If that bear wasn't dead it would EAT him.
Polar bears are one of the few creatures that look at man as FOOD.
51
posted on
12/27/2006 5:59:11 PM PST
by
Centurion2000
(Not one of those seasonal Festivians. I practice the Airing of Grievances daily. Often on this site.)
To: metmom
Personally, I like the story where the government is going to use trailer parks as tornado bait. ;)
52
posted on
12/27/2006 5:59:42 PM PST
by
dynachrome
("Where am I? Where am I going? Why am I in a handbasket?")
To: dynachrome
Some pretty good satire on that site. Thanks.
53
posted on
12/27/2006 6:01:47 PM PST
by
jwalsh07
(Duncan Hunter for President)
To: dynachrome
Dr. Slander recounted a recent incident in which a polar bear attacked a local homeless man, and had devoured only a small part of the man's body before collapsing from exhaustion. "Because of global warming, the bears' normal way of life is changing rapidly..it's tragic." Their spoor droppings have little bells and smell like peppers. Wait, that's in Wyoming.
54
posted on
12/27/2006 6:02:16 PM PST
by
higgmeister
(In the Shadow of The Big Chicken!)
To: eastforker
Some of the other stories in the sidebar are hilarious.
It sure reflects the sad state of the world when parody is so hard to distinguish from reality.
55
posted on
12/27/2006 6:02:27 PM PST
by
metmom
(Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
To: Diana in Wisconsin
My husband the one and only Mr. Ditter went to Whole Earth Provision company, possibly the most eco friendly store in the world, and asked them where they kept the seal clubs. Told them he had worn his old one out. I thought several of the sales people were going to choke on their own tongues before they realized he was kidding. They got red in the face and were ready to kick him out of their store. he he!
56
posted on
12/27/2006 6:03:34 PM PST
by
Ditter
To: dynachrome
Personally, I like the story where the government is going to use trailer parks as tornado bait. That's satire? ;))
57
posted on
12/27/2006 6:05:11 PM PST
by
metmom
(Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
To: xcamel
***After he chased it for 6 hours in a helicopter?***
Like they did in the 1971 tv film SAY GOODBY.
58
posted on
12/27/2006 6:13:44 PM PST
by
Ruy Dias de Bivar
(When someone burns a cross on your lawn the best firehose is an AK-47.)
To: dynachrome
If you've ever read the real life story of Jeremiah, his real name was Johnston and his nick name was Liver Eating Johnston. I wont tell you why.
59
posted on
12/27/2006 6:22:15 PM PST
by
fish hawk
(. B O stinks.)
To: dynachrome
60
posted on
12/27/2006 6:34:29 PM PST
by
spanalot
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