Posted on 12/23/2006 5:15:33 PM PST by Dallas59
BANGKOK (AFP) - "I could not find anybody in the States. There was nothing in America for me. That's why I'm here," says the clean-cut 52-year-old bachelor, who bears a passing resemblance to Hollywood actor Michael Douglas.
Sullivan, an emergency nurse from Florida, is one of a growing number of foreign men seeking young and beautiful Thai brides via the Internet.
Speaking at the Bangkok office of Sweet Singles, a Thai bride-by-Internet company, Sullivan says he has decided to "go beyond boundaries" in his search for a wife after a futile quest in the United States.
"American women in my age are, basically, a wreck. They are physically and emotionally beaten up from relationships and life. They are untrusting," says the well-built Sullivan, sporting a pink shirt and white pants.
"I think the feminist movement in America in the 60s really trashed American feminism. American women lack a certain femininity about them that women of other countries have," he laughs.
Sullivan contacted Sweet Singles six months ago and was introduced to Yoshita Tongsalee, an attractive 27-year-old teacher of traditional Thai dancing.
After corresponding with her via e-mails for three weeks, Sullivan decided to meet her and flew to Bangkok in early December.
"Just from e-mails, I knew she was the one. I just knew," says the American, his emerald earring dazzling.
"I find Thai women in general to be less self-centered and more family-centered than I find in western women," he says. The couple plans to marry next year.
John, a 43-year-old Briton who got married to a Thai woman four years ago via an Internet bride agency, also has grievances about western women.
"English women are very demanding and they expect you to be good-looking and have plenty of money and give them lots of attention. They drink a lot and they smoke a lot and they eat a lot," says John, who declined to give his last name.
"I am not very good at getting women anyway. I'm not the best-looking guy in the world. I'm quite short and it's very hard for me to find an English woman who is shorter than me," he says on the telephone from London.
Before marrying his Thai bride, John dated six British women, but his relationships with them were anything but happy.
"I'm just fed up with British women. They are not so loyal," he says.
When he met six Thai ladies in Bangkok via the Internet, including a 32-year-old business woman who later became his wife, John says he was struck by their kindness and family-centered values.
"I think Thai women are more loyal to their husbands. They are not just 'take, take take.' Also they have old-fashioned family values, which we used to have in this country," he says. John and his wife now have two young boys.
John and Marc declined to say how much they paid to get their Thai wives. Sweet Singles says it can charge a foreign man up to 1,700 dollars for a three-year membership to meet Thai ladies.
Some 10,000 foreign men have signed up with Sweet Singles over the last decade, and nearly half of them were previously divorced, says Bee, the company's customer service manager.
Some 80 percent of them get married to Thai women through the agency.
Americans account for 60 percent of the company's male clients, with the rest mostly from Australia, Britain, Germany and Scandinavian countries. Their average age ranges from 55 to 60.
Some 20,000 Thai women have also joined Sweet Singles, with their ages ranging from 20 to 40. The company charges a Thai woman 700 baht (20 dollars) for membership.
Bee, a petite 40-something, says Thai woman often have a favorable impression of foreigners.
"Many Thai girls were disappointed by Thai men who are famous for womanizing, drinking and gambling. Thai woman believe Caucasian men are more responsible and sincere and not playing around with other women," she says.
Thanitchaya Buaban, a striking 26-year-old beauty from Thailand's northern tourist spot of Chiang Mai, says she used to have a Thai boyfriend but he cheated on her many times.
"I was heart-broken. After I joined Sweet Singles, I started meeting foreigners and they were very kind and polite," she says at the firm's office.
Thanitchaya says she now has many American suitors who are trying to win her love with diamond rings and necklaces.
"I'm going to choose the best one," she says with a big smile.
For Sullivan's fiancee Yoshita, her experiences with Thai men were more traumatic.
"I was planning to marry my first Thai boyfriend, but he did not show up on our wedding day. He embarrassed me and my family," Yoshita says. "My second boyfriend cheated on me and impregnated another woman."
But Yoshita, who wears a golden heart necklace, says she is looking forward to living in Florida with the man of her dreams -- even if she still refers to him by his last name.
"I believe Mr Sullivan is a gift from God. He is really a good man and respects me. Every day I pray and thank Buddha for giving me Mr Sullivan," she says.
Sullivan nodded and held her hand.
"I have to step outside my own culture to find someone with whom I am compatible. I am not narrow-minded in that regard," he smiles.
I wasn't talking only about that post of yours, but many, and not just of yours.
And I'm not passive aggressive - you seem to be reading a lot into one statement. Wasn't that what everyone started off accusing Cammie of doing (wrt/her comment about him sounding gay)? It was an honest, not insulting, obeservation, and I was trying to keep it civil. Are you aware of how hostile and insulting you come across as?
FWIW, I do think many of the people on this thread, posting honestly, have some issues in their dealings with other people. Pain has a way of making one jaded.
I've been around the block, and know that there are sociopaths and selfish jerks out there. Too many.... But I have never posted insulting things about 'American Men' in general. Ok - perhaps about liberal men, but even if they were gentlemen, I can't handle those opinions in someone with whom I'm in a close relationship.
So refreshing to hear. My own BF loves the fact that I can be straightforward and open with him. (I'm the exact opposite of passive aggressive as accused by another on this thread.)
He's had too many years of guessing in a failed marriage a long term relationship that ended.
Is it that hard to admit that you are wrong, or that there are older, more precise meanings for words that you were previously unaware of? If so, I pity you.
Among educated people this is called learning. It is a wonderful thing. You should try it some time.
Yes, granted that is there, too--no doubt about it--however is not the situation I was referring to in a larger sense--and it might be that you and I are talking apples and oranges.
Many of the things you say cannot be denied. There are too many cases which seem to support your viewpoint. It is indeed a phenomenon. And the women in the West who precisely hate it the most try U.S. or U.N. legal ways to stop it or slow it down...but who in their right mind would want to marry those screwed up, issue laden/role-confused damaged goods American-feminazi women in the first place??? So, they are extremely jealous of /threatened by the beautiful, feminine, petite, graceful, loving and family center-loyalty centered women of The East who often catch an Westerner's eyes and heaert. And why not. There are a lot of hidden "issues" at work here.
Sorry to pop your bubble, but I think men are different before they marry you.....they'll be on their best behavior and tell you anything they think you wanna hear. Then once they hook you they get alzheimers and can't remember a thing they said or how nicely they treated you. Bummer.
(***sigh***) I wouldn't expect language any better from someone advocating the disingenuous and duplicitous positions you have already taken here on this thread.
Arguing about the meaning of words doesn't imply anything about my life.
I am afraid everyone reading this thread already knows far more about you and your values than any of us would otherwise care to know...
As for "making things up" the source I used was two clicks in on the link YOU PROVIDED .
Too bad you didn't use the actual link I provided or some other contemporary source. Oh, wait, that's right, no contemporary source would support your perverted redefinition of a very clear word.
Among educated people this is called learning.
Among the learned, your efforts to distort standard meanings to suit your own immorality is deceitful.
"you want to spar over it"
I don't, I replied to you accidentally. Actually your opponents in this thread seem to be the people that believe almost as an article of faith that Asian women are submissive and accomodating.
Gotta agree with ya. My wife is Italian and she is an awesome cook.
Looks cool. Same point as every other article of clothing and jewelry beyond a cloth sack. Granted, cool is in the eye of the beholder, but that's what cultures and sub-cultures are all about. I personally think that that western shirts are the hight of dorkdom, but I readily admit that it's purely a personal bias.
But the one thing for certain I can say, no matter what other things I might overlook (tattos, overweight, bald, short, dorky, etc) to date someone, I would never go out with any man wearing an earring.
I understand. We all have our prejudices. You're far from alone. I certainly have mine. My reply was only in response to the earings and masculinity comparison you made. It struck me as hillarious that you'd find the gay bar patrons to be more masculine than the bikers a block down.
You've never actually hung around bikers have you? As a biker, and a conservative, I can't help but take umbrage at your comments. Especially since my non-burping spouse has been to many a hang out with me.
My suggestion to you would be to go to the next soldier's funderal that Fred Phelps and his nasty little gang of cretins protest, and afterwards, follow the Patriot Guard to whatever watering hole they land at and see for yourself.
If you're not familiar with the group. The Patriot Guard is a national orginization of bikers who's members are dedicated to shielding the mourning family and friend of fallen soldiers from nutbars who have been protesting and heckling funerals.
"M'eh: I wouldn't be so proud of that these days...."
It wasn't a boast, nor was it a matter of pride. But the experience did make me wonder if there were any good people left in this country. Based on your comment, "you say that like it's a bad thing," you're not making me any more optimistic.
I try very hard not to become personal in my comments and I was wrong to do so here.
I apologize.
W
I can't believe I'm typing this. I am not gay!
I've found through experience that high end Italian garments of ANY kind usually recoup their higher purchase price. I have a set of dress socks that I've "worn the socks off of". They're over 15 years old. And they look/feel great.
However, you'll never catch me with an earring. Ever. If you see me with an earring, shoot me with a shotgun.
Other random thoughts about this thread:
1) Guy has diminished/substandard "equiptment" and needs an inexperienced, petite woman who won't/can't compare. Hence his horror at Western women.
2) The dude you've decided is an idiot is indeed an idiot. The guy with the lord of the rings three names or whatever.
3) I've already got a doormat. It says "Welcome" and is on my porch in front of my door.
4) You haven't lived until you've had a true partner-in-crime. That describes my wife. She's amazing & I'm very lucky.
I'm not above cooking or digging out a thread and needle. She does do most of the traditional girl stuff, but will help me bleed the brakes or hold a wrench while I tighten of loosen something that reqires three hands.
I'm sure there are plenty of fine wifes to be had in Thailand, but entirely unnecessary!
Your comments have been pretty spot on during this whole messy thread. Kudos.
and when it is over...I will take 50% of all the tangibles, and 50% of your pension, which you haven't collected yet, and may never live to collect...and just so you don't forget, I want support for the next 55 years, and by the way I need a Masters, and a PhD, to ensure that I can find a job....
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