Posted on 12/23/2006 5:15:33 PM PST by Dallas59
BANGKOK (AFP) - "I could not find anybody in the States. There was nothing in America for me. That's why I'm here," says the clean-cut 52-year-old bachelor, who bears a passing resemblance to Hollywood actor Michael Douglas.
Sullivan, an emergency nurse from Florida, is one of a growing number of foreign men seeking young and beautiful Thai brides via the Internet.
Speaking at the Bangkok office of Sweet Singles, a Thai bride-by-Internet company, Sullivan says he has decided to "go beyond boundaries" in his search for a wife after a futile quest in the United States.
"American women in my age are, basically, a wreck. They are physically and emotionally beaten up from relationships and life. They are untrusting," says the well-built Sullivan, sporting a pink shirt and white pants.
"I think the feminist movement in America in the 60s really trashed American feminism. American women lack a certain femininity about them that women of other countries have," he laughs.
Sullivan contacted Sweet Singles six months ago and was introduced to Yoshita Tongsalee, an attractive 27-year-old teacher of traditional Thai dancing.
After corresponding with her via e-mails for three weeks, Sullivan decided to meet her and flew to Bangkok in early December.
"Just from e-mails, I knew she was the one. I just knew," says the American, his emerald earring dazzling.
"I find Thai women in general to be less self-centered and more family-centered than I find in western women," he says. The couple plans to marry next year.
John, a 43-year-old Briton who got married to a Thai woman four years ago via an Internet bride agency, also has grievances about western women.
"English women are very demanding and they expect you to be good-looking and have plenty of money and give them lots of attention. They drink a lot and they smoke a lot and they eat a lot," says John, who declined to give his last name.
"I am not very good at getting women anyway. I'm not the best-looking guy in the world. I'm quite short and it's very hard for me to find an English woman who is shorter than me," he says on the telephone from London.
Before marrying his Thai bride, John dated six British women, but his relationships with them were anything but happy.
"I'm just fed up with British women. They are not so loyal," he says.
When he met six Thai ladies in Bangkok via the Internet, including a 32-year-old business woman who later became his wife, John says he was struck by their kindness and family-centered values.
"I think Thai women are more loyal to their husbands. They are not just 'take, take take.' Also they have old-fashioned family values, which we used to have in this country," he says. John and his wife now have two young boys.
John and Marc declined to say how much they paid to get their Thai wives. Sweet Singles says it can charge a foreign man up to 1,700 dollars for a three-year membership to meet Thai ladies.
Some 10,000 foreign men have signed up with Sweet Singles over the last decade, and nearly half of them were previously divorced, says Bee, the company's customer service manager.
Some 80 percent of them get married to Thai women through the agency.
Americans account for 60 percent of the company's male clients, with the rest mostly from Australia, Britain, Germany and Scandinavian countries. Their average age ranges from 55 to 60.
Some 20,000 Thai women have also joined Sweet Singles, with their ages ranging from 20 to 40. The company charges a Thai woman 700 baht (20 dollars) for membership.
Bee, a petite 40-something, says Thai woman often have a favorable impression of foreigners.
"Many Thai girls were disappointed by Thai men who are famous for womanizing, drinking and gambling. Thai woman believe Caucasian men are more responsible and sincere and not playing around with other women," she says.
Thanitchaya Buaban, a striking 26-year-old beauty from Thailand's northern tourist spot of Chiang Mai, says she used to have a Thai boyfriend but he cheated on her many times.
"I was heart-broken. After I joined Sweet Singles, I started meeting foreigners and they were very kind and polite," she says at the firm's office.
Thanitchaya says she now has many American suitors who are trying to win her love with diamond rings and necklaces.
"I'm going to choose the best one," she says with a big smile.
For Sullivan's fiancee Yoshita, her experiences with Thai men were more traumatic.
"I was planning to marry my first Thai boyfriend, but he did not show up on our wedding day. He embarrassed me and my family," Yoshita says. "My second boyfriend cheated on me and impregnated another woman."
But Yoshita, who wears a golden heart necklace, says she is looking forward to living in Florida with the man of her dreams -- even if she still refers to him by his last name.
"I believe Mr Sullivan is a gift from God. He is really a good man and respects me. Every day I pray and thank Buddha for giving me Mr Sullivan," she says.
Sullivan nodded and held her hand.
"I have to step outside my own culture to find someone with whom I am compatible. I am not narrow-minded in that regard," he smiles.
Referring to the men, the article says, "Their average age ranges from 55 to 60." This seems typical of other summaries I've seen of the overseas bride deal. The reason they're so jaded with American women, in my opinion, is that they just can't seem to find young, beautiful and compliant women to do the bidding of some fading doofus, waiting on them hand and foot, worshipping them in general, and satisfying their prurient desires on demand. The whole business of a bunch of geezers going overseas to buy slaves for their personal and fading sex lives is creepy. And, as a one time Immigration Agent, I'm too familiar with how many of these matings end up in simple green card blackmail schemes, and abusive situations, by the American.
By far my favorite.... I've done some of my best work here.
I'm totally going to have my wonderful, hot, submissive, (American) wifey reply to #214.....
--after she's done getting me a scotch and goofing around with the kiddos.
This is the time of year to enumerate our blessings:
I wish you all a Merry Christmas and Freedom from vexatious and cross women in the New Year.
Thanitchaya says she now has many American suitors who are trying to win her love with diamond rings and necklaces.
I sense a fit of irony coming over me...
My BF loves me for my conservative American values and traits. And I'm not interested in diamond rings or necklaces either. I love him for his conservative American values and traits as well.
You say that like it's a bad thing.
And, as a one time Immigration Agent...
M'eh: I wouldn't be so proud of that these days....
There's nothing less attractive in a man than self-pity or whining. Sounds like you've got some serious issues, my FRiend.
It gets even worse after 33 and instead of just being "wrecks", more and more leave me with the impression they've been rode hard and put away wet.
Their idea of compatibility is my retirement incoming matching their spending habits.
That was neither, but you seem highly, highly attuned to ridicule any weakness you find in a man. Guys dig that y'know.
Sounds like you've got some serious issues, my FRiend.
Don't insult me and call me FRiend. That's passive aggressive.
Of course I have issues with women, everyone does!
Wow... just wow....
Well, that may be, but I don't think this particular Thai woman was too crazy about that little cultural peculiarity.
This has been repeated in this thread over and over. I have 2 brief comments:
1. It is a little Patrician to think that only American women can be independent, isn't it?
2. It doesn't match my experience and observation. Of the half-dozen foreign marriages I know of, none are like that.
More women do that than men. Women marry hoping their spouse will change. Men marry hoping she won't. Both hopes are often dashed
That might be more accurate. : )
Thank you for not presuming. I'll answer your probing question by saying only that I've been there, done that. Don't flame me on Christmas Eve, as I just sat down for the first time since 6:30AM, after a day of dog walking, shopping, running, cooking. Now I have to go out and walk the dog again, but if I encounter anyone on the street I'll make sure not to give them a dirty look like those I received yesterday morning at that street fair I reported on earlier. Willie Nelson once wrote:
Should you stop? Better not, much too busy You're in a hurry, my how time does fly And in the distance the ringing of laughter And in the midst of the laughter he cries Pretty paper, pretty ribbons of blue Wrap your presents to your darling from you Pretty pencils to write I love you Pretty paper, pretty ribbons of blue
Granola. I was a joke comeback...
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