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Disillusioned Western Men Seek to "Thai" the Knot (Western Women Are Wrecks)
SAWF NEWS ^ | 12/23/2006 | Pornchai Kittiwondsakul

Posted on 12/23/2006 5:15:33 PM PST by Dallas59

BANGKOK (AFP) - "I could not find anybody in the States. There was nothing in America for me. That's why I'm here," says the clean-cut 52-year-old bachelor, who bears a passing resemblance to Hollywood actor Michael Douglas.

Sullivan, an emergency nurse from Florida, is one of a growing number of foreign men seeking young and beautiful Thai brides via the Internet.

Speaking at the Bangkok office of Sweet Singles, a Thai bride-by-Internet company, Sullivan says he has decided to "go beyond boundaries" in his search for a wife after a futile quest in the United States.

"American women in my age are, basically, a wreck. They are physically and emotionally beaten up from relationships and life. They are untrusting," says the well-built Sullivan, sporting a pink shirt and white pants.

"I think the feminist movement in America in the 60s really trashed American feminism. American women lack a certain femininity about them that women of other countries have," he laughs.

Sullivan contacted Sweet Singles six months ago and was introduced to Yoshita Tongsalee, an attractive 27-year-old teacher of traditional Thai dancing.

After corresponding with her via e-mails for three weeks, Sullivan decided to meet her and flew to Bangkok in early December.

"Just from e-mails, I knew she was the one. I just knew," says the American, his emerald earring dazzling.

"I find Thai women in general to be less self-centered and more family-centered than I find in western women," he says. The couple plans to marry next year.

John, a 43-year-old Briton who got married to a Thai woman four years ago via an Internet bride agency, also has grievances about western women.

"English women are very demanding and they expect you to be good-looking and have plenty of money and give them lots of attention. They drink a lot and they smoke a lot and they eat a lot," says John, who declined to give his last name.

"I am not very good at getting women anyway. I'm not the best-looking guy in the world. I'm quite short and it's very hard for me to find an English woman who is shorter than me," he says on the telephone from London.

Before marrying his Thai bride, John dated six British women, but his relationships with them were anything but happy.

"I'm just fed up with British women. They are not so loyal," he says.

When he met six Thai ladies in Bangkok via the Internet, including a 32-year-old business woman who later became his wife, John says he was struck by their kindness and family-centered values.

"I think Thai women are more loyal to their husbands. They are not just 'take, take take.' Also they have old-fashioned family values, which we used to have in this country," he says. John and his wife now have two young boys.

John and Marc declined to say how much they paid to get their Thai wives. Sweet Singles says it can charge a foreign man up to 1,700 dollars for a three-year membership to meet Thai ladies.

Some 10,000 foreign men have signed up with Sweet Singles over the last decade, and nearly half of them were previously divorced, says Bee, the company's customer service manager.

Some 80 percent of them get married to Thai women through the agency.

Americans account for 60 percent of the company's male clients, with the rest mostly from Australia, Britain, Germany and Scandinavian countries. Their average age ranges from 55 to 60.

Some 20,000 Thai women have also joined Sweet Singles, with their ages ranging from 20 to 40. The company charges a Thai woman 700 baht (20 dollars) for membership.

Bee, a petite 40-something, says Thai woman often have a favorable impression of foreigners.

"Many Thai girls were disappointed by Thai men who are famous for womanizing, drinking and gambling. Thai woman believe Caucasian men are more responsible and sincere and not playing around with other women," she says.

Thanitchaya Buaban, a striking 26-year-old beauty from Thailand's northern tourist spot of Chiang Mai, says she used to have a Thai boyfriend but he cheated on her many times.

"I was heart-broken. After I joined Sweet Singles, I started meeting foreigners and they were very kind and polite," she says at the firm's office.

Thanitchaya says she now has many American suitors who are trying to win her love with diamond rings and necklaces.

"I'm going to choose the best one," she says with a big smile.

For Sullivan's fiancee Yoshita, her experiences with Thai men were more traumatic.

"I was planning to marry my first Thai boyfriend, but he did not show up on our wedding day. He embarrassed me and my family," Yoshita says. "My second boyfriend cheated on me and impregnated another woman."

But Yoshita, who wears a golden heart necklace, says she is looking forward to living in Florida with the man of her dreams -- even if she still refers to him by his last name.

"I believe Mr Sullivan is a gift from God. He is really a good man and respects me. Every day I pray and thank Buddha for giving me Mr Sullivan," she says.

Sullivan nodded and held her hand.

"I have to step outside my own culture to find someone with whom I am compatible. I am not narrow-minded in that regard," he smiles.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Foreign Affairs
KEYWORDS: asianbrides; dating; mailorderbrides; marriage; sexes; single; thailand
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To: null and void

"porn" in a Thai name is like Smith in an english name.

I want to get back there next year, but I think I'll go back to Vietnam.


261 posted on 12/23/2006 7:56:21 PM PST by Central Scrutiniser (Pro Evolution, Pro Stem Cell Research, Pro Science, Pro Free Thought, and Conservative)
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To: null and void

I know. You apparently haven't read the whole thread.


262 posted on 12/23/2006 7:56:32 PM PST by Mamzelle
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To: TheWriterTX

"Ironically, once I surrendered "power" in our relationship, he did more for me than ever before. Since I was going out of my way to please him, he went out of his way to please me."



AMEN. I'm praying for a woman with a heart like that. 100% given by each, both preferring the other while keeping in mind that God ultimately holds the husband responsible as head of the relationship.


263 posted on 12/23/2006 7:56:55 PM PST by The Spirit Of Allegiance (Public Employees: Honor Your Oaths! Defend the Constitution from Enemies--Foreign and Domestic!)
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To: cammie
Have a Merry and enjoy your Asian child-brides. I hope after they get their green cards, they don't take you for too much in the inevitable divorce.

How do they feel about "anchor babies"? And immigration?

264 posted on 12/23/2006 7:57:00 PM PST by BunnySlippers (SAY YES TO RUDY !!! GO RUDY GO!!!)
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To: Bronzewound

Which is, of course, not what I said. I said, and I quote, "He's an ER nurse wearing a pink shirt, white pants, and an emerald earring. That's reasonable doubt for ya, right there. As an American Woman, one look at an ER nurse in a pink shirt, white pants, and an emerald earring, and all I'd be thinking is GAY GAY GAY. "

As you can see -- if you had any reading comprehension skills -- I said "ALL I'D BE THINKING IS GAY GAY GAY."

And I did not say it was because he was wearing a pink shirt. I said, as you can see above, "He's an ER nurse wearing a pink shirt, white pants, and an emerald earring."

If you will notice, there were many on subsequent posts who intimated that they would have the same opinion of him.

So Bronzewound, let's just cut to the chase: You're our Mr. Sullivan, aren't you?


265 posted on 12/23/2006 7:57:28 PM PST by cammie
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To: OwenKellogg
2) Thread needs more pics


266 posted on 12/23/2006 7:58:03 PM PST by Revolting cat! (We all need someone we can bleed on...)
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To: vox humana

Yeah, and I hear Art's wife will graduate from high school before the baby arrives.

Art is a weird assed dude. He cheated on first wife with second wife, went on and on about his undying love for her, she dies in a RV in a casino parking lot, he is nearly suicidal, then marries a Filipina teenager 6 months later and moves to Manilla.

Real stable guy.


267 posted on 12/23/2006 7:58:18 PM PST by Central Scrutiniser (Pro Evolution, Pro Stem Cell Research, Pro Science, Pro Free Thought, and Conservative)
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To: AmericanInTokyo; nygoose; driftdiver
It is the American culture today. “Role confusion” is a good underlining start in understanding the problem.

As long as the women is not grown up here or maybe it comes from our schools. I wonder if people that are home schooled have any differences emotionally then from the rest of society?

I married lady that grew up in Taiwan she is just wonderful. Her sister mostly grew up here she is much like most American women.

268 posted on 12/23/2006 7:58:27 PM PST by Steve Van Doorn (*in my best Eric cartman voice* ?I love you guys?)
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To: Revolting cat!

Thanks, Cat! That's an excellent start.


269 posted on 12/23/2006 7:58:51 PM PST by OwenKellogg
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To: Mamzelle
basically, a burden that ought to be shared...that's marriage for grownups.

Yeah: I'm sharing the breastfeeding now and later she is going to share the unloading and stacking the firewood.

I guess we just haven't gotten the hang of this 'sharing' thing....

270 posted on 12/23/2006 7:59:15 PM PST by Cogadh na Sith (There's an open road from the cradle to the tomb.)
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To: vox humana
Art Bell married his second Asian wife (first one died), and he dearly loves her!

It was awfully quick, and she pretty young. I hope for the sakes of all involved it lasts. He does seem very happy and Airen seems a delight, but the thought of it being a rebound infatuation is still there.

271 posted on 12/23/2006 7:59:17 PM PST by null and void (Propaganda doesn't have to make sense. Hell, it often works better if it doesn't.)
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To: Cogadh na Sith

Considering your boasts of sharing other men's wives, I think I'll stick to my better experiences.


272 posted on 12/23/2006 8:02:27 PM PST by Mamzelle
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To: vox humana
I was not saying men don't cheat. I am troubled by the still pervasive view that it's mostly only men that do. Men bad. Women good. In my experience, it's both, and that does include women. In my little slice of the pie, more women than men.

I have been married for 33 years and have been faithful for all of them. There are lots of men like me who want the same devotion from a woman, that's all. For taking exception to the prevailing view of men, I've already been verbally castrated on this thread. Ouch!

273 posted on 12/23/2006 8:02:58 PM PST by Bronzewound
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To: Mamzelle
I'm not laughing. Sometimes the best thing one can do is serve as a bad example.

I learned to check the marital status before asking for a date, it could have been a very painful or even lethal lesson, the least I can do is pass on the warning.

People tend to remember/cope with stress/deal with things better when the hard parts are wrapped in humor.

274 posted on 12/23/2006 8:05:15 PM PST by null and void (Propaganda doesn't have to make sense. Hell, it often works better if it doesn't.)
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To: Dallas59
Operators are standing by...


275 posted on 12/23/2006 8:05:55 PM PST by Revolting cat! (We all need someone we can bleed on...)
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To: Central Scrutiniser

Pornchai? Porn tea?


276 posted on 12/23/2006 8:06:12 PM PST by null and void (Propaganda doesn't have to make sense. Hell, it often works better if it doesn't.)
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To: Bronzewound

I don't know what thread you're reading, but I don't think ANYONE here has taken the view that it's primarily men who cheat. Cheating is an equal opportunity phenomenon.

What the...er, "Bobbsey Twins" as Mr. Revolting so eloquently put it...have been responding to is the outright denigration of women on this thread. Basically, the "go home, get pregnant, make dinner, shut up" view of the world.


277 posted on 12/23/2006 8:06:23 PM PST by cammie
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To: TheWriterTX
"Ironically, once I surrendered "power" in our relationship, he did more for me than ever before. Since I was going out of my way to please him, he went out of his way to please me."


You got it.
The best relationships is based on trust if the women isn't willing to give her trust then the relationship is beat from the begining.

278 posted on 12/23/2006 8:06:45 PM PST by Steve Van Doorn (*in my best Eric cartman voice* ?I love you guys?)
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To: cammie
But as for disarmed, surely you jest: I'm an attorney, active member of the Federalist Society, faculty member at a major university, earn a six figure income, and happily dating.

I earn a six figure income as well, if you include the decimal point.

279 posted on 12/23/2006 8:06:53 PM PST by Hacksaw
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To: Dallas59; metmom; DollyCali; snugs; All

While the Feminist and Homosexual Agendas are both partly to blame for gender confusion, I am astonished at the way I see straight guys treat women. Too few women have doors opened for them. Too few women have husbands that service cars for them. Too few women have husbands that overdo the kind verbal communications and honest compliments that let her blossom in his love. Too few women have husbands who guard their eyes, hearts and steps in full fidelity.

Too many women are deceived by males who take the best years of their lives, put a lot of miles on them and dump them and their children for some new plaything.

When you say I Do, DO.

Treat her like a thoroughbred and she won't be a nag.


280 posted on 12/23/2006 8:07:29 PM PST by The Spirit Of Allegiance (Public Employees: Honor Your Oaths! Defend the Constitution from Enemies--Foreign and Domestic!)
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