Posted on 12/18/2006 5:26:26 AM PST by shrinkermd
...I'm 18, and for most of my life, I haven't known half my origins...
...That part came from my father. The only thing was, I had never met him, never heard any stories about him, never seen a picture of him. I didn't know his name. My mother never talked about him -- because she didn't have a clue who he was.
When she was 32, my mother -- single, and worried that she might never marry and have a family -- allowed a doctor wearing rubber gloves to inject a syringe of sperm from an unknown man into her uterus so that she could have a baby. I am the result: a donor-conceived child....
...I was angry at the idea that where donor conception is concerned, everyone focuses on the "parents" -- the adults who can make choices about their own lives. The recipient gets sympathy for wanting to have a child. The donor gets a guarantee of anonymity and absolution from any responsibility for the offspring of his "donation." As long as these adults are happy, then donor conception is a success, right?
Not so. The children born of these transactions are people, too. Those of us in the first documented generation of donor babies -- conceived in the late 1980s and early '90s, when sperm banks became more common and donor insemination began to flourish.. I'm here to tell you that emotionally, many of us are not keeping up. We didn't ask to be born into this situation, with its limitations and confusion. It's hypocritical of parents and medical professionals to assume that biological roots won't matter to the "products" of the cryobanks' service, when the longing for a biological relationship is what brings customers to the banks in the first place.
(Excerpt) Read more at washingtonpost.com ...
Sad the author wasn't born to two lesbian mothers as that would have eased her pain and made her life easy by being in a well cared for, loving family.
I knew a woman who was a lesbian and had a baby with her partner "Butch". The child was male and both the mother and her partner were clearly not fond of men either physically or in general. While they were outwardly loving when the child was an infant, I always wondered how they would cope with a male child going through puberty. The kid would now be in his late teens and I wonder how messed up his life is.
"When she was 32, my mother -- single, and extremely selfish--"
My thinking exactly !!!!! If this women had a maternal instinct why didn't she become a loving foster parent? She would have recieved some financial help and given a lost child a home.
once again, the kids suffer for the hedonism of the parents. woman wants a kid, doesn't think about the emotional needs of the kids. they're props, y'know.
She is a brave girl to put these thoughts into writing. Depriving a child of half of its history is not right. It is bad enough if a child is conceived by two adults who don't stay together, or when the father dies before the child is born, but for a mother to say (by her action) "your father doesn't matter, I just wanted you" is cruel.
Yes, I agree. And this vignette proves that as always the heart is a lonely hunter and it seeks closure. Sort of proof we are more than a biological occurrence.
The article said she was a student at Gallaudet University. If I'm not mistaken that is a university for the deaf or hearing impaired. Wonder if that played into her search for the "genetics" info?
Yes, I noticed that as well. Your guess is as good as mine.
Find some bootstraps and a life!
None of us are asked to be born into whatever situation we find ourselves.
Life is hard for all of us.
Sadly, this is very true.
In the late 60s to 70s the birth rate (and marriage rate) took a dive. When the frenzy over Cabbage Patch dolls occured, I predicted that a new baby boom would follow. Sure enough, within 5 years school boards were 'surprised' at the increase in enrollment that was starting.
Actresses in Hollywood started having the prop, as you say, of a baby - no father in sight. This translated to being a sign of approval for unmarried women everywhere to do the same thing, if they wanted a baby without the complication of having to find a man and to share their 'lifestyle' with him.
We all know that plants thrive on proper care and conditions, but we overlook this fact when it comes to the care and nurture of little humans, and kid ourselves that it doesn't make a difference.
Vaquero, you are VERY bad. hahaha.
As I get older, I more and more understand Mother Church's stance on contraception and artificial procreation. So many of hte problems we face as a society come down to "letting go and letting God,"
This whiner needs to get a life....of her own. She has a chance to be anything she sets her mind to.....instead she whines and laments. What a shame.
Well, she might be called selfish by you and the author, but he is here.
His choice at this point is to decide to live a good life and quit whining about his origins. He has life, that seems to be something to be grateful about.
None of us, with few exceptions, have had perfect lives. many people grow up without fathers. Many people have selfish mothers.
This Dude needs to get over his whining and move on.
The idea of a "Donor" for a married couple with fertility issues is one thing.. the idea of a "Donor" bank for single women to produce kids just because they want one is quite another.
Fatherlessness is one of the fastest ways, particularly for a male child to wind up in trouble. No they don't all wind up in trouble, but statistically they are a much more risk before they even get their first breath.
This should be required reading at feminazi indoctrination centers (colleges). This is proof that going against human nature has bad consequences. This sort of artificial parent thing is unnatural and abnormal. We aren't made that way.
There's a reason why some churches are against this sort of thing: because it's against human nature. It has nothing to do with religious doctrine.
Liberals don't think that
I hope that some of the posters of callous comments on this thread will rethink the message of the article. The author is describing her situation in the hope that she can prevent some other children being conceived and born with similar motive to her conception. There is a huge difference between being a product of conception by nature's way, and by the designer model concept. Her parent DELIBERATELY said to her: you do not need half of you life. That is much different from having a father who is absent (which is sad enough).
Boo hoo. Get over it.
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