It's official: global warming is guff

Scotland on Sunday ^ | December 10, 2006 | BRIAN BRADY

[MadIvan]

I wonder how they're going to deal with this one if the diet fails - send a fellow from the Department of Environment strategically inserting a lot of corks?

Regards, Ivan

[MadIvan]

Ping!

[goldstategop]

That's a lot of cow dung to clean up.

"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." -Manuel II Paleologus

[Chickensoup]

I wonder how they're going to deal with this one if the diet fails - send a fellow from the Department of Environment strategically inserting a lot of corks?
Regards, Ivan


What is wrong Ivan, you can't tell that the plan is to turn us all into organic vegatarians? I can see that one coming from miles away.

[EBH]

Naw...don't you see it will be a call for vegetarianism, then we won't need to breed and feed cows. It is the demand for beef that caused global warming...

[MadIvan]

I'm a vegetarian for health reasons. I honestly don't think it would be a good idea if everyone became one.

Regards, Ivan

[Lurker]

There was actually a television program a few years back, "After The Warming" I think it was.

It postulated that the UN would send its armies into the western US and Brazil to stamp out radical beef farmers because bovine flatulence was a lethal threat to mankind.

I got a good laugh out of that one.

Sending the UN Army into the western US.... My God the undertakers would be working three shifts.

L

[bill1952]

Why stop at cows? There are dozens of other feed animals, not to mention thousand upon thousands of wild animals farting all over the world.

Myriad study groups need to be set up - at your expense - to study just hoe elephants are destroying the Earth.

The whole problem stems from a strange perspective that we humans are not even needed or wanted here, but are barely tolerated parasites whose existence must now be controlled in every way or the sky will literally fall in.

Vladimir Lenin would be proud..

[Iowa Granny]

Why stop at cows? There are dozens of other feed animals, not to mention thousand upon thousands of wild animals farting all over the world.

The problem is primarily caused bu Ruminants (animals with 2 stomachs)

At one time the were more buffalo on the U.S. prairie than there are cattle now. Buffalo are ruminants, too.

The list of Ruminants isn't all that long. Perhaps someone with more knowledge can post a list.

Cats, Dogs, and Horses ARE NOT ruminants. (at least that's what I've been told)

[prairiebreeze]

Huge bison herds used to roam the plains and the planet seemed to survive in good shape.

The article's title is misleading, IMO.

[MadIvan]

To be perfectly honest, there's not much we can do about it. Just like "climate change"; there has never been and never will be stability in weather patterns on an ever-changing planet. The weatherman can't predict weather a week from now; it's not bloody likely he's going to be able to figure it out years ahead.

Regards, Ivan

[elcid1970]

Huge bison herds used to roam the plains. While farting.

Glad I wasn't there. The campfire scene from "Blazing Saddles" pales in comparison.

Didn't enormous prairie fires occur frequently in those days?

[Quiller]

Okay, how about this -- Bean-O for Bessie?

I can see the government funding a marine program to study the impact of whale flatulence on the environment, maybe tasking a few subs to trail and sniff.

Or how about a rig like the tubes in "Matrix", except hooked up so farmers can capture and process the methane, thereby reducing dependence on mid-East oil.

Such a system could provide alternative employment for French vintners, who could apply their distinguished noses to the task of establishing the right mix of, say -- Guernsey and Angus flatulence -- for optimum energy use.

I'm sure the cows would get used to it after a while (the tubes, not the sniffing).

[Quiller]

The problem is primarily caused bu Ruminants (animals with 2 stomachs) . . . Cats, Dogs, and Horses ARE NOT ruminants. (at least that's what I've been told)

Maybe not, but what my dog lacks in volume, he sure makes up for in potency!

[jim35]

True, cows and bison are ruminents, but that doesn't mean that other animals don't produce methane when they fart. Humans are included in this. In fact, as far as I know, all animals that fart, which includes all mammals (I think), produce methane when they fart. Meat eaters, plant eaters, and omnivores.

[JOHANNES801]

Bison sitting around a camp fire lighting farts?

[DCPatriot]

My questions to them....

Why single out the bovines? Don't humans contribute to the methane problem?

Coming soon to the legislature near you....today it's trans fat...tomorrow beans and cabbage will be outlawed. ;^)

[DCPatriot]

Watch out, Ivan.

They're coming for your cabbage. ;^)

[Quiller]

Coming soon to the legislature near you....today it's trans fat...tomorrow beans and cabbage will be outlawed. ;^)

Naw, congress would never pass legislation against hot, noxious gas. It would be too much like outlawing themselves.

Oh wait -- the ethics regulations and child protection laws they have passed don't seem to slow the congressthings down much, do they?

[timer]

WHOA there pardner, SOLAR ENERGY makes green grass, cows eat green grass, we eat cows; thus the environmentalists DREAM : SOLAR ENERGY into FOOD, ie, more methane = global warming = more seawater evaporated = more rain = more green grass = more cows = more FOOD from natural SOLAR ENERGY. WOW, are we onto something here?