Posted on 12/04/2006 7:24:54 PM PST by Nasty McPhilthy
Why Jimmy Carter would want to be buried in foreign soil is anybody’s guess, but the former president, whose administration was the economic equivalent of root canal while in the throes of amoebic dysentery, has announced his funeral plans.
Carter wants to be buried in front of his home in Plains, Georgia. At this point, we can only speculate how many of brother Billy’s empty beer cans will be dug up by the backhoe. Any bets?
Jimmy also wants a funeral in Washington, which promises to be quite the somber experience. It’ll be like Ronald Reagan’s funeral without all the pesky people getting in your line of sight.
It’s often said that Carter “was a better ex-president than president,” but trying to decide if Jimmy was a better president or ex-president is like figuring out if you prefer the hemorrhoid on the left butt cheek, or the right one.
Carter is probably still in full-blown “Enzyte Bob” mode, as his pal and anti-American goon Hugo Chavez just won re-election as president of Venezuela.
The legacy that Jimmy Carter will leave behind once his funeral plans are fulfilled would be comical if it weren’t dangerous. The self-appointed Special Ambassador to Everywhere has spent the better part of a few decades using his platform as a former president of the U.S. to practice conflict resolution overseas, bash America, and encourage murderers and their victims to find common ground.
Not long ago, Carter monitored the Palestinian elections, where the Islamic militant group Hamas won an overwhelming majority in the legislature.
Here’s what Jimmy Carter had to say about the Palestinian election mere hours after the voting: “The elections were completely honest, completely fair, completely safe and without violence.” We can only wish Carter could offer that same type of knee-jerk deference to an American election.
Remember the days when Billy was the embarrassing Carter?
What Jimmy Carter, knowingly or unknowingly, said to the world that day was that suicide bombings and other violence at polling places won’t occur as long as terrorists are allowed a spot on the ballot.
There are two options with Jimmy Carter: He’s either a gullible fool in search of a legacy or a closet despot lover in search of a closet.
Back in 2002, Carter visited Cuba and hooked up with Fidel Castro for what almost resembled a creepy eHarmony.com ad. At the time, Carter’s visit rankled nerves in the Bush administration because it was thought that Castro had, at the very least, a limited biological-weapons program.
Carter came out of his trip doubting that Cuba had any such programs. Why? You guessed it: Because Castro told him he didn’t. Well, that and because Castro granted Carter “free access to any place that you may wish to see” (with 24-hour notice for “tidying up”). The Cuban government also told its people that they were free to speak openly with Carter, provided they were polite, courteous and willing to spend the next 20 years in a labor camp.
Why does Jimmy Carter seem to have a soft spot for less than desirable dictators and varied despots around the globe? Simply psychology. The malaise, stagflation, low morale, high misery index, bad leisure suit and disco years that were his presidency look great next to the human rights violations, oppression and violent iron fisted rule of the likes of Castro, Hamas, Chavez, Ahmadinejad, et al.
Carter has figured out what’s helped many an ex-president out of a bad legacy jam. You can’t change history, but you can alter your present company. As Rodney Dangerfield’s character eloquently put it in his movie Back to School, “If you want to look thin, hang out with fat people.”
Jimmy Carter has announced his burial plans, and word has it that he’s already down in Plains trying to mediate the dirt out of the hole. I’m a little surprised that Carter didn’t want to be buried in Venezuela, Cuba, or the Middle East — a little closer to home.
The worse part of all of this is that we, the taxpayers, have to actually PAY for this idiot's funeral...no matter where they ship his Commie bones to be buried. Your honor, I object!!!
LOL USUALLY ellipsis have words with them...they aren't sitting off by their lonesomes.
Old wheel weights work well too.
Hilarious. Great post!
What do you have against crows?
Sounds good can we bury this afternoon?
I don't care where they bury him, just bury him.
This is instructive - don't ever thing that it doesn't matter if the Democrats win. It does. We are still paying a price around the world because they did.
Regards, Ivan
Your #148 is true but if Ford had been elected in 1976, we probably never would have had the Reagan Revolution and the Republican Party would probably resemble Cameron's Tories today.
Regards, Ivan
By 1984 Reagan would have been entirely too old and there was no one to pick up the mantle, as we have seen.
ok ... just put his remains in a generic plastic bag ... attach a little soviet flag, show a little moon picture for conceptual purposes and let them fly out of the cargo bay ... one day they'll only be a barely .0005 nano second (most likely faster ... you know, comedic purposes) microscopic flash in the atmosphere. A non-event ... just like his presidency.
I don't believe hemorriods occur on the cheek of ones butt. The rest of the article I agree with.
There was no "quiet humility about Carter. His combination of arrogance and stupidity was both astounding and dangerous.
The crows have a choice. Pick at the crusty old fool, or let the bugs have him.
To clarify: His overall demeanor was seen by foreigners that way, and it is considered, along with his soft, peacemaking approach to foreign policy, one of the things that encouraged our enemies. As President Reagan showed, peace is best obtained through strength. Pres. Carter, standing at the Berlin wall wailing for peace would have accomplished nothing. When President Reagan spoke demandingly "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!" it made a difference.
I suggest that anywhere they plant this wicked old buzzard's carcase, they put a urinal over that spot, because I have a feeling it will be used as a urinal in any case.
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