When mommy goes off to war, it's rough on kids [sickening]

The Seattle Times ^ | 11/28/06 | Donna St. George

[XR7]

HAVRE DE GRACE, Md. — When they called her name, she could not move. Sgt. Leana Nishimura intended to walk up proudly, shake the dignitaries' hands and accept their honors for her service in Iraq — a special coin, a lapel pin, a glass-encased U.S. flag.

But her son clung to her leg. He cried and held tight...T.J. was 9, her oldest child, and although eight months had passed since she had returned from the war zone, he was still upset by anything that reminded him of her deployment...

The faraway move to live with his grandmother. The months that went by without his mother's kisses or hugs, without her scrutiny of homework, her teasing humor, her familiar bedtime songs.

Nishimura was a single mother — with no spouse to take over, to preserve her children's routines, to keep up the family apartment.

Of her three children, T.J. seemed to worry most... "He went from having one parent to having no parents, basically," Nishimura said, reflecting. "People have said, 'Thank you so much for your sacrifice.' But it's the children who have had more of a sacrifice."

When war started in Iraq, a generation of U.S. women became involved as never before — in a wider-than-ever array of jobs, for long deployments, in a conflict with daily bloodshed. More than 155,000 women have served in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Among their ranks are more than 16,000 single mothers, according to the Pentagon, a number that military experts say is unprecedented.

How these women have coped and how their children are managing have gone little noticed as the war stretches across a fourth year...

"I tell [the children] that if God needs Mommy to go ... then Mommy's going to have to go again and they're going to have to let me."

[Allegra]

This is the "Nasty People Thread." It seems to have drawn out some real winners, doesn't it?

I'm getting off of this thread.

And taking a shower. Ick.

[trisham]

Honey, you need more help than I can give. Call that abandonment, if you like.

[sauropod]

You know it!

And thanks you for your service, BTW.

[MikefromOhio]

Without knowing more about her situation, such as her financial situation and that of her grandparents, and the reasons that went into her signing up, I don't think you can make such a sweeping statement such as "a mother's first responsibility should be to her minor children."

Come on now. We all know that the internet in general and FR in this particular case is EXACTLY the place to post without thinking about what you are posting and making broad sweeping statements by a poster with his/her head up her arse from behind their know it all keyboard.

[MikefromOhio]

You should've pinged me earlier....

Frikin idiots all around here....

[cajungirl]

But I will bet anything you would insist they have an out of wedlock baby to gratify you in your desire to have some woman around to call a whore.

You really are disgusting, more disgusting than any real whore.

[cyborg]

She was insulted and heckled at a black history month speech by a 'peace' advocate. He asked her if she'd go back to serving in the unjust war and she said YES. Some might not like single mothers serving but many are extremely dedicated and do it because it gives them opportunities. Otherwise, they'd all be on welfare and then it'd be something for some freepers to nitpick about.

[Stone Mountain]

Then she's a widow.

But what if her husband/ex-husband's whereabouts aren't known to the reporter? The fact that she is a single mother is pertinent to the story. How she got to be a single mother isn't. As I mentioned before, there are many more things to complain about the MSM other than the term "single mother" which is the predominant usage everywhere in the United States that I have been to.

Complaining about the term "single mother" is silly anyway. Language evolves - that is the nature of language. The way the majority of Americans today would refer to a currently unmarried woman with a child would be to use the term "single mother." That's what I would expect a newspaper to use.

[sauropod]

OOoooooooooo. I'm wounded.

Thank you for your cogent reply and not answering my question, and insisting not to see my point.

Have a day trisham.

[Allegra]

A couple of these posters are just flat-out creepy.

[91B]

Some aspects of transforming the force are necessary reforms, but this is an underhanded effort to use females to fill positions in combat arms units and an argument will flow from this towards allowing females into the combat arms themselves.

On our FOB we had about a dozen females for 500 or so males. Some ran patrols, but usually with the support platoon for resupply or on MEDCAPs. The rest had jobs that did not require them to leave the FOB on a regular basis. While most did their jobs well, it only takes a few (in our case 4 or 5 out of the 12) to cause a huge disruption-sexual politics, jealousy, distraction, etc.-not to mention having to accomodate them separately for housing, latrines and so on.

The Army has pretty much given in to the feminists as far as I can tell, but they are making a huge mistake.

[sauropod]

And then to not back down when they've said something really STOOPID ;-)

Nice to see ya Mike.

[wideawake]

She is selfish because she is a "single mother".

Then you're just wrong, on a purely factual; basis.

It has nothing to do with her military service.

Voluntary military service is usually a pretty strong indication of selflessness.

My definition of a "single-mother" is a woman who has children out of wedlock and has no intention of giving their bastard a father.

Then your definition is highly idiosyncratic.

A single mother is, obviously, a mother who is single.

I.e. a woman who is raising children and is not married.

The vast majority of single mothers really do wish that there were a responsible husband and father in the family.

It is a rare single mother indeed who will turn down a serious marriage proposal from a normal man.

[trisham]

Have a day trisham.

*********

LOL! You too.

[Allegra]

Thanks. And thank you for being one of the few voices of sanity on this thread.

[cyborg]

Read the article. I think some freeps are reading more into it than is there. Weird thread though. I'll look out for the same people on the single parenthood thread demanding they work for their money.

[Antoninus]

Maybe her signing up to get the pay and health benefits for her family IS fulfilling her "first responsibility. It just so happens that her job calls for deployment every so often. I'd rather she be serving her country instead of a ward of the state, wouldn't you?

I would if I were living in the land of "False Dichotomy." Are you telling me that in this most prosperous nation in the world, no other choice for a woman in her straights than the military or welfare? You must not know very many single mothers.

[trisham]

Complaining about the term "single mother" is silly anyway. Language evolves - that is the nature of language. The way the majority of Americans today would refer to a currently unmarried woman with a child would be to use the term "single mother." That's what I would expect a newspaper to use.

************

You're right that the majority of Americans would use term "single mother", but to some of us language matters. Yes, it's what I would expect a newspaper to use as well, since they are in the business now of influencing public perception.

[Antoninus]

No, because you're so nasty and spiteful and rude and seem to have such a very large chip on your shoulder.

Ad hominems are the last refuge of someone with nothing cogent to say.

[sauropod]

I am not a fan of "transformation" the way that people in the building are implementing it.

Wars are not always tractable to light fast wheeled vehicles and 'netcentric warfare' isn't going to solve our problems. We're in for a rude awakening yet again.

The Army is VERY PC these days. I can't tell you how much training we get on "prevention of sexual harassment" celebration of this or that monority's history month, etc. etc. It's amazing we can get any work done.