When mommy goes off to war, it's rough on kids [sickening]

The Seattle Times ^ | 11/28/06 | Donna St. George

[XR7]

HAVRE DE GRACE, Md. — When they called her name, she could not move. Sgt. Leana Nishimura intended to walk up proudly, shake the dignitaries' hands and accept their honors for her service in Iraq — a special coin, a lapel pin, a glass-encased U.S. flag.

But her son clung to her leg. He cried and held tight...T.J. was 9, her oldest child, and although eight months had passed since she had returned from the war zone, he was still upset by anything that reminded him of her deployment...

The faraway move to live with his grandmother. The months that went by without his mother's kisses or hugs, without her scrutiny of homework, her teasing humor, her familiar bedtime songs.

Nishimura was a single mother — with no spouse to take over, to preserve her children's routines, to keep up the family apartment.

Of her three children, T.J. seemed to worry most... "He went from having one parent to having no parents, basically," Nishimura said, reflecting. "People have said, 'Thank you so much for your sacrifice.' But it's the children who have had more of a sacrifice."

When war started in Iraq, a generation of U.S. women became involved as never before — in a wider-than-ever array of jobs, for long deployments, in a conflict with daily bloodshed. More than 155,000 women have served in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Among their ranks are more than 16,000 single mothers, according to the Pentagon, a number that military experts say is unprecedented.

How these women have coped and how their children are managing have gone little noticed as the war stretches across a fourth year...

"I tell [the children] that if God needs Mommy to go ... then Mommy's going to have to go again and they're going to have to let me."

[MikefromOhio]

LOL

[steve-b]

You really are disgusting, more disgusting than any real whore.

A real whore provides a valuable service.

A net troll, not so much.

[sauropod]

Watch your six bro'

[steve-b]

Bet you can't resist responding to me. Betcha.

[trisham]

I think you're really paranoid if you believe that newspapers are trying to influence public perception by using the most common term, "single mother."

************

That's the difference between us, I guess. Some of us stoop to ad hominem attacks and some don't.

[Allegra]

I'm not even gonna get started with these clowns. Got to get back to work.

You're working awfully late. Or are you doing nights now?

Take care!

[Stone Mountain]

My definition of a "single-mother" is a woman who has children out of wedlock and has no intention of giving their bastard a father.

I see. You just make up definitions of words and expect others to follow. It doesn't work that way. That's not what a "single mother" is. As far as American English usage goes, that is.

And while we're on the subject of language, the term "bastard," while technically accurate to describe a child born out-of-wedlock, is also used to describe a bad, mean person. As such, it has become a pejorative term, and I think it's cruel to call a baby a pejorative term because of it's parents that it had no control over. I see it as similar to mocking someone because of their race. Why denigrate someone over circumstances they had no control over?

[Allegra]

LOL...heeheee

[Sioux-san]

And Rumsfeld and Cheney both support full deployment of women as well. Unfortunately, the Fems managed to get the physical strength standards lowered so that more women could cut it. I am all for women in the military if they can meet all the standards that are required of the men, but clearly most of them cannot. Pure and simple, most women are built differently than most men. This applies to more than just the Grunts - Women pilots can be shot down just like the men can - will they have the physical strength to do what is necessary to survive? Hollywood says Yes and used Demi Moore to prove it. How about some truth here! The Russians and the Israelis both experimented with this, and later rejected it because it ruins the military in so many ways. I also do not think single parents with custody of their children (men or women) should be allowed to deploy. If we are that desperate, then heaven help us. But then this isn't about what is best for Society/Nation, but what is best for careers.

[Non-Sequitur]

The fact that we have 'single-mothers of three' serving in our military at all is a national disgrace.

Go take her place then. Be all that you can be.

[Antoninus]

I'm trying to get across to you that you are a creepy person. However, I find you tiresome now.

And I'm trying to get across to you that you're acting the part of a whiney hypocrite--demanding that someone be non-judgmental and then proceeding to insult them personally over and over.

If I'm so creepy and tiresome, then stop responding. You can't, of course, because you're psychologically compelled to get the last word in. Don't worry, I understand perfectly.

[sauropod]

I read the whole article and am glad there is a plan in place to designate caregivers should the soldier be called to deploy (maybe this is obvious to most, but I did not know that kind of a plan existed).

[Stone Mountain]

Saying that I think you're paranoid for believing that the MSM is trying to influence us by using the term "single mother" isn't an ad hominem attack. Saying that I think you're stupid would be. My contention is that you are too worried about the MSM - thus the paranoid label. But hey, if you took that as an insult, would you feel better if instead of "paranoid," I used the term overly sensitive?

Anyway, you missed the main part of my post. I'll ask again:

What should the newspaper have called her? The kid wasn't born "out-of-wedlock" because she was married when her kid was born. She's not a widow. What better term than "single mother" would you have the newspaper use? If you can't come up with a better term, then how can you criticize the newspaper for using it?

[ArrogantBustard]

Read the article?

How quaint ...

[sauropod]

It could be that the subject of the artice sincerely wants to serve her country.

[Antoninus]

If she doesn't have the skills to land a white-collar position, other jobs with halfway decent medical coverage for the kid might well be out of reach.

In my region, blue collar jobs often have much better benefits packages than white collar ones.

This young woman obviously has no trouble dumping her children off with her parents for months at a time. My guess is that she could easily live with them too while she got back on her feet. I've never heard of a "no choice but to join the army" situation for a young woman before. Have you?

[Stone Mountain]

Single-mothers are selfish whores.

Classic. So if a woman marries a guy and has children. Then he cheats on her and runs off. The woman could give her kids up for foster care, but she decides to take responsibility for her own children and bring them up herself. And that makes her a selfish whore. Boy, that's pretty cold...

[trisham]

Saying that I think you're paranoid for believing that the MSM is trying to influence us by using the term "single mother" isn't an ad hominem attack. Saying that I think you're stupid would be. My contention is that you are too worried about the MSM - thus the paranoid label. But hey, if you took that as an insult, would you feel better if instead of "paranoid," I used the term overly sensitive?

*************

I appreciate your persistence, but I have no interest in discussing this, or any other issue with you.

[sauropod]

How about 'divorcee?'

That's an accurate appelation.