Posted on 11/28/2006 10:11:14 AM PST by steve-b
No, no, sorry. I don't have any . . ."
Why does this always seem to be the first thing I'm asked? It takes my breath away, yet why do I feel the need to apologize for my reply? Looking vague and embarrassed, my questioner glances over my shoulder for someone else to talk to: someone with whom he or she has more in common, someone with children....
Just as some women talk of a visceral urge that propels them to have children, others speak of an equally visceral urge that propels them not to. Laurie, a transplanted southerner who teaches history in New York, began to realize at an early age that she didn't want children, as she watched wealthy mothers in Richmond hire other women to care for their children. "These people compelled to have trophy babies in certain socioeconomic echelons don't want to face the realities of raising a child." She is now infuriated by what she calls "that Mother Right" -- the assumption that everyone will make way for a woman with a stroller or a child in tow....
But almost all the women I've talked with describe feeling acutely aware of what they see as our national obsession with motherhood: "The Bump Watch" hounding Jennifer Aniston and Jennifer Lopez; "Celebrity Babies" like the elusive Suri Cruise; and "The Ultimate Hollywood Accessory: A New Baby," popularized by Brangelina. Some use the term "child-free" to differentiate those who choose not to have children from those who had been unable to have them....
(Excerpt) Read more at washingtonpost.com ...
But almost all the women I've talked with describe feeling acutely aware of what they see as our national obsession with motherhood.
There is no "national obsession with motherhood." There is an irritating increasing trend toward whiney victimhood, among the exhibitionist childless and, for that matter, lots of other groups.
She had a stillbirth and then a divorce. Looks like writing about this subject is helping her work through the losses. I'd cut her some slack.
No plans for kids with us. Getting too old anyways.
Some of us just are not meant to be parents.
Of the four of us siblings, only one brother had kids. My sister and my other brother never did.
Kids are like cops, I dont hate 'em, I recognize we need 'em, I just feel better when they aren't around.
I dont mind paying taxes for others kids, I donate to charities that benefit kids. I see co-workers get out of work duties playing the kid card. But so be it.
The correct way to punctuate a sentence that starts: "Of course It is none of my business but--" is to place a period after the word "but." Dont use excessive force in supplying such moron with a period. Cutting his throat is only a momentary pleasure and is bound to get you talked about.
--"Lazarus Long" (Robert A. Heinlein)
Well said! My mother always just called it, "being nice."
"It's called "What about ME?" Syndrome. It is rampant."
I know toooooo, many people who have this me syndrome.
Mother privilege - well put!
In many cases it is not their choice to make, for quite often they are childless because they paid a doctor to murder their children.
Ok. Still, some seem to be calling the author a selfish twit, etc., and probably haven't read the whole article.
She does address a very real issue that our society is very reluctant to address. Frankly, the women who should be having children--those who have the means to care for them, who have met success in life and could engender this spirit in their children--simply aren't having kids.
Meanwhile, welfare mom who sits at home pumps out 5 or 6.
This is not a model for success. The Me-Me-Mes (especially in urban areas) are a large reason Europe is going extinct.
To properly parent a child requires tons of time, patience and common sense. It seems reasonable that some may not want to make that commitment. Better not to have them than to let them run wild.
What's wrong with just being the kindly aunt that takes her nephew to the zoo or who mentors kids during lunch breaks.
Having kids I'm sure is a wonderful thing. But, not everybody is called to be married with children. The Bible even talks about it. Being single with no kids can be an opportunity to serve in ways that people with children can't because of their responsibilities with their families.
I'm in a boat where, at best, I might adopt someday because of an unlucky roll of the genetic die. But, you know...I've seent people with children and a merry-go-round of husbands who would have been better off if they had just stayed single. Everybody involved would have been better off.
That being said. Mothers deserve the utmost respect. They deserve all the help they can get raising the next generation. It's EVERYBODY's responsibility to do everything in their power to aid the next generation. But, that doesn't necessarily involve giving birth. If we could get people to give birth to the children already being concieved and then have everybody work together to raise and mentor these kids, population wouldn't be a problem in this country.
Looks like something moody Moroon Dowdy would write.
I'm glad that people who don't want children aren't having them. As long as they're not killing their unwanted children, that is. What I hate is the attitude some of them have that they're morally superior to other people because they don't have kids. I grew up as the oldest of seven and oh! some of the comments my parents recieved. My favorite was the time the grocery store bagger told us (there were only five of us at the time and I was 9) that "your mommy has rocks in her head".
The topic is a good place to toss out a rant.
I met a distant relative at a family gathering, after a very brief conversation, the topic turned towards children, specifically me answering that we didn't have any after 15 years of marriage.
This idiot would not let the subject go, like not having children is some sort of deficiency that neeeds correcting.
In case this isn't commone sense to everyone: If you meet someone thats been married a long time and discover they don't have children, either:
a) they don't want children and there's nothing you can do to change that so drop the subject. or
b) they can't have children and its probably a very touchy subject so you should drop it.
I dearly love my assorted nieces and nephews and I'm a "favorite" to them...and I just don't wish to have children of my own. The number of people who are rudely inclined to ask why is simply outrageous.
~ Blue Jays ~
Since that wasn't addressed in this article, there's no need to turn this into yet another abortion thread.
Twit?
I feel sorry for her then: but believe me, motherhood is not cherished in this country - I am saying this as somebody who struggled with a stroller.
Since that wasn't addressed in this article, there's no need to turn this into yet another abortion thread.
Absolutely right! Do you think Michael Richards should raise kids after his racist rant?
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